2002 Vintage: The XP Background
Why did the blonde try to walk into her monitor? She thought the Windows XP “Green Hills” was a real park. Part of the 63… Read More »2002 Vintage: The XP Background
2002 Vintage: The Barry Bonds 700
Why were pitchers still walking him? Because even at 37, Bonds was hitting home runs that were landing in different time zones. Part of the… Read More »2002 Vintage: The Barry Bonds 700
2002 Vintage: The Transporter Rules
Rule #1: Never change the deal. Rule #2: Jason Statham will kick you in the face. Part of the 76 Observational One-Liners: The 2002 Retro… Read More »2002 Vintage: The Transporter Rules
2002 Legacy: The Paper Checkbook Standoff
Paralyzing a supermarket checkout lane for five minutes to manually balance a ledger down to the exact penny for a single bottle of prune juice.… Read More »2002 Legacy: The Paper Checkbook Standoff
2001 Classic: The Number
I’m a baker. I’m just “kneading” more. Part of the 101 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Odyssey Edition (2001) archive. Historically Verified
2001 Vintage: The Harry Potter Bedroom
A man tries to be spicy and says, “I have a magic wand!” His wife looks at him and says, “Great. Use it to perform… Read More »2001 Vintage: The Harry Potter Bedroom
2000 Legacy: Best Female Pop Vocal
Why “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLachlan? Because she is the official patron saint of sad endings and slow-motion montages. Part of the 37… Read More »2000 Legacy: Best Female Pop Vocal
2000 Vintage: Worst Actor
Why John Travolta? For proving that “overacting” isn’t a strong enough word—there is a need to invent a new one specifically for this performance. Part… Read More »2000 Vintage: Worst Actor
2000 Vintage: The Mission
Impossible 2: I tried to do the slow-motion jump. I hit the coffee table. Mission: Failed. Part of the 65 Marriage Jokes: The 2000 “New Millennium… Read More »2000 Vintage: The Mission
2000 Archive: The Bush-ism
George W. Bush is asked about his sex life. He says, “It’s a matter of strategery. We have to ensure the ‘homeland security’ is tight before… Read More »2000 Archive: The Bush-ism