63 Original Dad Jokes: The 2020 “Quarantine” Edition

The 2020 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The Sourdough Starter: Why did the dad name his bread “Wilson”? Because it was his only “castaway” friend in the kitchen.
2. The Zoom Meeting: Why did the dad wear a suit jacket and pajama pants? He was “business on the top, party in the nap-room.”
3. The Toilet Paper: Why was the toilet paper so happy in 2020? Because it finally became the most “valuable” player in the house.
4. The Social Distancing: Why did the dad stay six feet away from the fridge? He was practicing “calorie distancing.”
5. The Tiger King: What do you call a dad who watches too much Joe Exotic? A “Cool Cat and Kitten” enthusiast.
6. The Hand Sanitizer: Why did the dad put sanitizer on his jokes? Because he wanted to make sure they were “clean” for the family.
7. The Mask Mandate: Why did the dad love wearing a mask? Because nobody could see him “muttering” about the chores.
8. The Animal Crossing: Why did the dad start a virtual garden? Because the real one was already “weeded” out of excitement.
9. The Home Workout: Why did the dad bring a remote to the treadmill? He wanted to “channel” his inner athlete.
10. The Year 2020: Why was the dad so good at seeing the future in 2020? Because he had “20/20” vision of his couch.

The Full 2020 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Brave Broom: Why did the broom work from home? It was “sweeping” the virtual office.
12. The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that lives in a bubble? A “quarant-bee.”
13. The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard stay in the garage? It was “bored” of the driveway.
14. The Ghost’s Mask: Why did the ghost wear a mask? To keep his “ghoul” breath to himself.
15. The Empty Street: Why was the road so lonely? It had “no-traffic” to talk to.
16. The Broken Fence: Why did the dad fix the fence twice? He had “nothing but time” on his hands.
17. The Brave Sandwich: Why did the sandwich go on a walk? To get out of the “crusty” house.
18. The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that stays at home? A “resid-ant.”
19. The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost wash his hands? To stay “spook-tacularly” clean.
20. The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so happy? It was “mist” in its own thoughts.
21. The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a nurse? A “hiss-pitals” worker.
22. The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s 100 years old? An “anti-que.”
23. The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants never use computers? Because they’re afraid of the “mouse.”
24. The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a genius? “Ham-stein.”
25. The Scared Bird: Why did the penguin go to the bank? To “freeze” his assets.
26. The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly-catcher.”
27. The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the circus? He was a “web-obat.”
28. The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a scientist? A “Beagle” assistant.
29. The Scared Tree: Why did the oak tree go to the dentist? It needed a “root” canal.
30. The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s a comedian? “Hill-arious.”
31. The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the tailor? To fix its “hard-wear.”
32. The Little Star: Why did the moon go to the party? It was “beaming” with pride.
33. The Scared Road: Why was the highway so stressed? It had too many “pave-ment” issues.
34. The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a scientist? An “ant-alyst.”
35. The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite food? “Soul” food.
36. The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a promotion? Because it was “cirrus-ly” talented.
37. The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the gym? To work on its “web” strength.
38. The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a detective? “Sherlock Bones.”
39. The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have “glove compartments.”
40. The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
41. The Scared Bird: Why did the owl get fired? He didn’t “whoo” the boss.
42. The Bank Vault: Why did the dad bring a pillow to the bank? He wanted to “rest” his account.
43. The Coffee Bean: Why was the coffee bean so tired? It was “roasted” all day.
44. The Gym Socks: Why did the gym socks go to the party? They wanted to “smell” the fun.
45. The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.”
46. The Scared Baker: Why did the baker get arrested? He was caught “rolling” in the dough.
47. The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a king? A “wasp-er.”
48. The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the doctor? It had “asphalt” issues.
49. The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly” catcher.
50. The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
51. The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so angry? It was “storming” out.
52. The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the computer? To fix his “home-page.”
53. The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a mechanic? A “bark-ing” brake expert.
54. The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants go to the city? They’re afraid of the “trunk” traffic.
55. The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a soldier? A “ham-burger.”
56. The Scared Bird: Why did the parrot go to the party? He wanted to “poly-socialize.”
57. The Bank Statement: Why did the dad stare at his bank account? He was trying to “balance” his life.
58. The Coffee Maker: Why was the coffee maker so proud? It was “brewing” something special.
59. The Gym Locker: Why did the locker go to school? To get “smarter” about safety.
60. The Little Moon: Why did the moon go to the dentist? To get its “craters” filled.
61. The WiFi Router: Why did the dad pet his internet router? Because he heard it was his only “connection” to the outside world.
62. The Driveway Workout: Why did the dad start lifting grocery bags? He wanted to maintain his “heavy-lifting” status for the next big shop.
63. The Sourdough Crust: Why did the bread get a gold medal in 2020? Because it was the only “rising” star in the house.