53 Original Dad Jokes: The 2001 Digital Frontier Edition

The 2001 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The iPod: Why did the dad put his music in the blender? He wanted to make an “i-Smoothie.”
2. The Wikipedia: Why did the dad get kicked out of the library? He tried to “edit” the encyclopedias by hand.
3. The Shrek: What do you call an onion that’s a great storyteller? An “Ogre-ator.”
4. The Flat Screen: Why was the dad so happy with his new monitor? It finally had a “flat” personality.
5. The Pizza: Why did the pizza maker go to jail? He was caught “kneading” the dough illegally.
6. The Invisible Man: Did you hear about the invisible man who married the invisible woman? Their kids were “nothing to look at” either.
7. The Math Test: Why was the geometry book so frustrated? Because it was tired of being “cornered.”
8. The Broken Guitar: Why did the guitar go to jail? For “fretting” too much.
9. The Hungry Bear: Why do polar bears always have cold feet? Because they go “bear-foot.”
10. The Scared Tree: Why was the weeping willow so sad? It just couldn’t “leaf” its problems behind.

The Full 2001 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Brave Cookie: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feeling “crumb-y.”
12. The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s had a bad hair day? A “frizz-bee.”
13. The Skateboard: Why did the skateboarder go to the bank? To get some “balance.”
14. The Ghost’s Diet: What do ghosts eat for dinner? “Spook-hetti.”
15. The Empty Wallet: Why is my wallet like a library? People only come to “borrow” from it.
16. The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the police? It was “tired” of being run over.
17. The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so moody? It was under the “weather.”
18. The Fish Tank: What do you call a fish that can’t swim? A “sink-er.”
19. The Scared Owl: Why did the owl stay home from the party? He didn’t give a “hoot.”
20. The Little Star: Why did the star go to school? To get “brighter.”
21. The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a detective? “Hiss-tory” hunter.
22. The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s good at math? An “account-ant.”
23. The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the “mouse.”
24. The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a genius? “Albert Ein-swine.”
25. The Scared Bird: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat? So he could be “poly-unsaturated.”
26. The Little Frog: What do you call a frog with a broken leg? “Un-hoppy.”
27. The Scared Spider: Why did the spider get a job in IT? He was an expert at the “web.”
28. The Little Dog: What kind of dog does a scientist have? A “Lab-rador.”
29. The Scared Tree: Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a “root” canal.
30. The Little Mountain: What do you call a mountain that’s always cold? “Chilly-manjaro.”
31. The Scared Computer: Why did the computer squeal? Because someone “pinched” its hardware.
32. The Little Star: Why did the moon skip dinner? It was “full.”
33. The Scared Road: Why was the belt arrested? For “holding up” the pants.
34. The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s 100 years old? An “anti-que.”
35. The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? “Booberries.”
36. The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud stay home? It was “raining” on its parade.
37. The Scared Spider: Why did the spider get kicked out of the library? He was “spinning” yarns.
38. The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that can do magic? A “Hocus Pocus Spaniel.”
39. The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants play cards in the jungle? Too many “cheetahs.”
40. The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a genius? “Albert Ein-swine.”
41. The Scared Bird: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat? So he could be “poly-unsaturated.”
42. The Bank Account: Why did the dad put a ladder in the bank? Because he wanted to reach a “high” balance.
43. The Coffee Shop: Why did the espresso keep checking its watch? Because it was “pressed” for time.
44. The Gym Teacher: Why did the gym teacher go to the hardware store? He wanted to build some “muscle.”
45. The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to school? To get “brighter.”
46. The Scared Baker: Why did the baker go to jail? Because he was caught “kneading” the dough.
47. The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that lives in America? A “USB.”
48. The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the gym? To get “paved.”
49. The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s looking for a job? “Un-hoppy.”
50. The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the hospital? To get his “boos” checked.
51. The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so moody? It was under the “weather.”
52. The Scared Spider: Why did the spider get a job in IT? He was an expert at the “web.”
53. The Cargo Pants: Why did the dad wear cargo pants to the 2001 party? Because he needed enough pockets to carry all his “spare” jokes.