55 Original Dad Jokes: The 2007 “Touchscreen” Edition

The year 2007 changed everything. While the world was busy trying to figure out how to type without buttons on the new iPhone and everyone was “poking” each other on Facebook, dads were busy upgrading their pun game. This collection features the definitive 2007 “groaners”—jokes that are as classic as a Bluetooth earpiece and a pair of bootcut jeans.

The 2007 Top 10: Golden Classics

The iPhone: Why did the dad try to “swipe” his ham sandwich? He thought it had the new Apple touchscreen.
The Transformers: What do you call a car that turns into a dad? “Optimus-Puns.”
The Harry Potter 7: Why was the dad so happy the last book came out? Because he could finally “close the chapter” on his kids’ requests.
The Netflix: Why did the dad stare at his mailbox in 2007? He was waiting for his “stream” to arrive in a red envelope.
The Halo 3: Why did the dad put a helmet on before dinner? He heard it was time to “finish the fight” with the broccoli.
The Ratatouille: What do you call a rat that’s a great chef? A “mouse-ter” of the kitchen.
The Spider-Man 3: Why did the dad wear a black suit to the barbecue? He was feeling his “dark side” coming out (but mostly just the charcoal).
The Nintendo DS Lite: Why did the dad get the “Lite” version? He wanted his jokes to have fewer calories.
The Facebook Poke: Why did the dad keep tapping his neighbor on the shoulder? He was trying to “poke” him in real life.
The Bee Movie: Why did the dad love the new movie about bees? Because he thought it was “un-bee-lievably” funny.

The Full 2007 Archive (Extended List)

The Brave Broom: Why did the broom go to the doctor? It had a “sweeping” headache.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a professional athlete? A “jock-bee.”
The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard go to the bank? To get some “grind” money.
The Ghost’s Diet: Why do ghosts love diet soda? Because they want to stay “boo-tiful.”
The Empty Wallet: Why is my wallet like a library? Because everyone wants to “check out” what’s inside.
The Broken Fence: Why was the fence so happy? It was “well-supported.”
The Brave Sandwich: Why did the sandwich go to the gym? To get “crust-y.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-i-biotic.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so moody? It was under the “weather.”
The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a mathematician? An “adder.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s always in a hurry? “Inst-ant.”
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants use cell phones? They’re afraid of the “trunk” calls.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a painter? “Pig-asso.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the woodpecker go to the doctor? He had a “splitting” headache.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a spy? A “croak-and-dagger” agent.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the band? He was great at “weaving” melodies.
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a genius? A “smart-ie” spaniel.
The Scared Tree: Why did the pine tree go to the barber? It needed to be “needled.”
The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s always tired? “Slope-y.”
The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the dentist? To get its “Bluetooth” checked.
The Little Star: Why did the moon go to the bank? To change its “quarters.”
The Scared Road: Why was the highway so stressed? It had too many “forks” in the road.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-ibiotic.”
The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? “I-scream.”
The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a promotion? It was “high” up in the company.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the mall? To find a new “web-site.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a sailor? A “sub-woofer.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have “glove compartments.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the owl get fired? He didn’t “whoo” the boss.
The Bank Vault: Why did the dad bring a pillow to the bank? He wanted to “rest” his account.
The Coffee Bean: Why was the coffee bean so tired? It was “roasted” all day.
The Gym Socks: Why did the gym socks go to the party? They wanted to “smell” the fun.
The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.”
The Scared Baker: Why did the baker get arrested? He was caught “rolling” in the dough.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a king? A “wasp-er.”
The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the doctor? It had “asphalt” issues.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly” catcher.
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so angry? It was “storming” out.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the computer? To fix his “home-page.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a mechanic? A “bark-ing” brake expert.
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants go to the city? They’re afraid of the “trunk” traffic.
The Touchscreen Fingers: Why did the dad start wearing gloves in 2007? Because he heard the new “touch” screens were sensitive, and he didn’t want to hurt their feelings.