48 Classic Blonde Jokes: The 1998 Retro Edition

Welcome to 1998 – the year of Windows 98, the founding of Google, and the “You’ve Got Mail” craze. While the world was busy feeding Tamagotchis and listening to Cher’s “Believe,” these jokes were the viral hits of the early broadband era.

The 1998 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Google Launch: Why did the blonde try to feed her computer? She heard the new search engine was called “Google” and thought it was a hungry baby.
The Windows 98 Upgrade: Why did the blonde stay up all night during the Windows 98 install? She was waiting for the “98” different windows to open.
The Furby Mystery: Why did the blonde put her Furby in a soundproof box? She thought it was a secret government spy device from the movie “Enemy of the State.”
The Titanic VHS: Why did the blonde buy two copies of Titanic on VHS? She wanted to see if Jack survived on the second tape.
The iMac G3: Why did the blonde try to lick her new translucent blue iMac? She heard the color was called “Bondi Blue” and thought it tasted like a tropical drink.
The Armageddon: Why did the blonde bring a space suit to the movies? She heard “Armageddon” was coming and didn’t want to be left behind.
The Napster: Why did the blonde think Napster was a pillow company? She heard everyone was “downloading naps” for free.
The MP3: Why did the blonde try to put three pieces of paper in her ear? She heard someone talking about an “MP3.”
The Nokia Snake: Why did the blonde call animal control? She couldn’t get the “Snake” out of her Nokia 5110.
The Y2K Bug: Why did the blonde buy a giant fly swatter for her computer? She was getting ready for the “Y2K bug.”

The Full 1998 Archive (Extended List)

The Mouse: Why was the blonde’s computer mouse always in the kitchen? She heard it was a “pointing device” for recipes.
The Keyboard: Why did the blonde put a bandage on her keyboard? She heard she had a “broken” link.
The Monitor: Why did the blonde put a screen door on her monitor? She wanted to keep the “bugs” out of her software.
The Printer: Why did the blonde put a mirror in front of the printer? She wanted to see a “carbon copy.”
The Scanner: Why did the blonde put a picture of her face on the scanner? She wanted to “face” her digital problems.
The Email: Why did the blonde keep her computer in the garage? She was waiting for “e-mail” delivery.
The Password: Why did the blonde change her password to “Incorrect”? Because the computer kept telling her the old one was “incorrect.”
The Desktop: Why did the blonde put a glass of water on her desktop? She wanted to see the “waves” in her wallpaper.
The Icon: Why did the blonde think her computer was religious? It had so many “icons” on the screen.
The Folder: Why did the blonde put a real folder on her monitor? She wanted to “save” her progress.
The Link: Why did the blonde bring a chain to the computer? She heard there were “hyperlinks.”
The Virus: Why did the blonde give her computer a flu shot? She heard there was a “Macro virus” going around.
The Disk: Why did the blonde use her floppy disk as a coaster? She wanted to “store” her drink.
The Search: Why did the blonde use a magnifying glass on her screen? She was searching for a “file.”
The Scroll: Why did the blonde bring a rolling pin to the computer? She heard she needed to “scroll” down.
The Font: Why did the blonde change her font to “Arial”? She wanted her text to have “more air.”
The Port: Why did the blonde bring a suitcase to her computer? She heard it had a “serial port.”
The Bit: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to see if it had 32 “bits.”
The Chip: Why did the blonde put a potato chip in her computer? She heard it needed a “microchip.”
The Fan: Why did the blonde bring a pom-pom to her computer? She wanted to be a “fan” of the cooling system.
The RAM: Why did the blonde bring a sheep to the office? She heard the computer needed more “RAM.”
The Hard Drive: Why did the blonde take her computer for a long walk? She wanted to give it a “hard drive.”
The Firewall: Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the computer? She heard it had a “firewall.”
The Buffer: Why did the blonde bring a car wax? She heard the video was “buffering.”
The Cookies: Why did the blonde look inside her computer? She was looking for the “cookies” the internet promised her.
The Crash: Why did the blonde call a tow truck? Her computer “crashed.”
The Java: Why did the blonde pour coffee on her mouse? She wanted to use “Java.”
The Bug: Why did the blonde use bug spray on her screen? She heard there was a “Y2K bug.”
The Bookmark: Why did the blonde put a post-it note on her monitor? She wanted to “bookmark” a site.
The Wallpaper: Why did the blonde buy a bucket of glue? She wanted to change her “desktop wallpaper.”
The Refresh: Why did the blonde splash water on her face? She clicked “Refresh” on her browser.
The Zip: Why did the blonde try to zip up her computer case? She wanted to “zip” her files.
The Trash: Why did the blonde throw her monitor away? She was told to “empty the trash.”
The Menu: Why did the blonde ask her computer for a burger? She saw a “start menu.”
The Speaker: Why did the blonde talk to her speakers? She thought they were “talking” to her.
The CD: Why did the blonde put a CD in the microwave? She wanted to hear “hot” music.
The Modem: Why did the blonde sing to her modem? She wanted to harmonize with the dial-up sound.
The End: Why did the blonde think 1998 was a “believable” year? Because Cher told her to “Believe” in life after love!