67 Classic Blonde Jokes: The 2012 Archive

The 2012 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The Mayan Calendar: Why did the blonde buy a calendar for 2013 on December 20, 2012? Because she wanted to prove to the Mayans that she had “higher expectations” for the weekend.
2. The Gangnam Style: Why did the blonde try to ride a real horse into the computer lab? She heard “Gangnam Style” was the biggest thing on the web and she wanted to do it in “High Definition.”
3. The Curiosity Rover: Why did the blonde try to mail a “Get Well Soon” card to Mars? She heard the “Curiosity” rover was looking for signs of life and she didn’t want it to feel lonely.
4. The Instagram Filters: Why did the blonde take a photo of her morning coffee and then throw it away? She said the “Earlybird” filter made it look like it was from 1977, so it must have been expired.
5. The Pinterest Launch: Why did the blonde pin a real donut to her computer screen? She heard about “Pinterest” and wanted to show everyone her favorite snack.
6. The London Olympics: Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the 100m sprint? She heard the athletes were going for a “world record” and she wanted to see how high it was.
7. The Facebook IPO: Why did the blonde try to buy “Likes” at the grocery store? She heard Facebook was going public and she wanted to own some “social currency.”
8. The Siri Updates: Why did the blonde ask Siri to “find her brain”? Because she heard the new iOS update made Siri “smarter than ever.”
9. The Kindle Paperwhite: Why did the blonde try to write on her new Kindle with a real pen? She heard it was “Paperwhite” and thought it was just a glowing notepad.
10. The Avengers: Why did the blonde bring a hammer to the cinema? She heard Thor was in “The Avengers” and she wanted to help him fix the “screen resolution.”

The Full 2012 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Mouse: Why did the blonde give her mouse a piece of cheese? She thought it was “hungry” for more gigabytes.
12. The Keyboard: Why did the blonde put a bandage on her keyboard? She heard she had a “stuck” key.
13. The Monitor: Why did the blonde put sunglasses on her monitor? She said the “Windows” were too bright today.
14. The Printer: Why did the blonde put a mirror in front of the printer? She wanted to see a “double” printout.
15. The Scanner: Why did the blonde put a picture of her face on the scanner? She wanted to “face” her digital problems.
16. The Email: Why did the blonde keep her computer in the freezer? She was waiting for “cool” mail.
17. The Password: Why did the blonde change her password to “Incorrect”? Because the computer kept telling her the old one was “incorrect.”
18. The Desktop: Why did the blonde put a glass of water on her desktop? She wanted to see the “liquid” in the LCD screen.
19. The Icon: Why did the blonde think her computer was a church? It had so many “icons” on the screen.
20. The Folder: Why did the blonde put a real folder on her monitor? She wanted to “organize” her desktop files.
21. The Link: Why did the blonde bring a chain to the computer? She heard there were “broken links.”
22. The Virus: Why did the blonde give her computer a glass of orange juice? She heard there was a “new virus” going around.
23. The CD: Why did the blonde use her CD as a frisbee? She wanted to “transfer” data to her friend across the street.
24. The Search: Why did the blonde use a magnifying glass on her screen? She was “searching” for the home page.
25. The Scroll: Why did the blonde bring a rolling pin to the computer? She heard she needed to “scroll” down the page.
26. The Font: Why did the blonde change her font to “Arial”? She wanted her text to have “more air.”
27. The Port: Why did the blonde bring a suitcase to her computer? She heard it had a “USB port.”
28. The Bit: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to see if it had 32 “bits.”
29. The Chip: Why did the blonde put a potato chip in her computer? She heard it needed a “microchip.”
30. The Fan: Why did the blonde bring a pom-pom to her computer? She wanted to be a “fan” of the cooling system.
31. The RAM: Why did the blonde bring a sheep to the office? She heard the computer needed more “RAM” for the new software.
32. The Hard Drive: Why did the blonde take her computer for a long walk? She wanted to give it a “hard drive.”
33. The Firewall: Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the computer? She heard it had a “firewall.”
34. The Buffer: Why did the blonde bring a car wax? She heard the video was “buffering.”
35. The Cookies: Why did the blonde look inside her computer? She was looking for the “cookies” the websites promised her.
36. The Crash: Why did the blonde call a tow truck? Her computer “crashed” on the information highway.
37. The Java: Why did the blonde pour coffee on her mouse? She wanted to use “Java.”
38. The Bug: Why did the blonde use bug spray on her screen? She heard there was a “software bug.”
39. The Bookmark: Why did the blonde put a post-it note on her monitor? She wanted to “bookmark” a site.
40. The Refresh: Why did the blonde splash water on her face? She clicked “Refresh” on her browser.
41. The App Store: Why did the blonde try to buy an apple at the computer store? She heard an “App Store” was coming and thought it was a grocery shop.
42. The YouTube High: Why did the blonde climb a ladder to watch a video? She heard it was “High-Definition.”
43. The GPS Voice: Why did the blonde argue with her car? She heard the GPS say “Recalculating” and thought it was criticizing her math skills.
44. The Touchscreen: Why did the blonde keep pressing her TV screen? She thought every screen was now an iPad.
45. The Twitter: Why did the blonde try to follow a pigeon? She heard “Twitter” was the best way to follow someone.
46. The MySpace: Why did the blonde try to paint her monitor? She wanted to “customize her profile.”
47. The Wi-Fi: Why did the blonde try to catch the internet with a net? She heard it was “wireless” and flying through the air.
48. The Smartphone: Why did the blonde call her phone a “Genius”? Because it was “smarter” than her old flip phone.
49. The Tablet: Why did the blonde try to write on her monitor with a pencil? She heard “tablet PCs” were the new thing.
50. The Webcam: Why did the blonde wave at the ATM? She thought it was a “webcam” and her bank was watching.
51. The Flash Drive: Why did the blonde run past her computer? She wanted to use a “Flash drive.”
52. The Laptop Fan: Why did the blonde bring a pom-pom to her bed? She heard her laptop had a “cooling fan.”
53. The Screen Resolution: Why did the blonde wear glasses to look at her computer? She heard it had “high resolution.”
54. The Smart TV: Why did the blonde ask her TV for advice? She heard it was a “Smart TV.”
55. The Cloud Storage: Why did the blonde put her hard drive in a bag of cotton candy? She heard it was “Cloud storage.”
56. The E-Book: Why did the blonde try to charge her physical book? She thought it was an “E-book.”
57. The Selfie: Why did the blonde take a photo of her own reflection and then try to “tag” the mirror? She just learned about “selfies.”
58. The Hashtag: Why did the blonde put a pound sign in front of her name tag? She wanted to be “searchable” at the party.
59. The 4G LTE: Why did the blonde run faster while texting? She heard she had “4G” and wanted to keep up.
60. The Dropbox: Why did the blonde leave her laptop on the porch? She wanted to use “Dropbox.”
61. The Skype: Why did the blonde put on makeup before answering the phone? She heard about “Skype.”
62. The Google Glass: Why did the blonde wear a drinking glass on her face? She was waiting for “Google Glass” to be released.
63. The Tesla: Why did the blonde try to plug her car into the toaster? She heard about “electric cars.”
64. The Vine App: Why did the blonde try to water her iPhone? She heard about a new app called “Vine.”
65. The Bitly: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to “shorten a link” with “Bitly.”
66. The QR Code: Why did the blonde try to read a crossword puzzle with her phone? She thought it was a giant “QR code.”
67. The End: Why did the blonde think 2012 was the best year? Because she survived the end of the world just to realize she forgot her password to the new one!