42 Classic Blonde Jokes: The 2013 Archive

The 2013 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The Frozen Movie: Why did the blonde bring a space heater to the cinema? She heard “Frozen” was playing and she didn’t want to get frostbite while watching.
2. The Vine App: Why did the blonde stare at her phone for exactly 6 seconds and then scream? She was trying to make a “Vine” and thought the app would cut her off if she talked any longer.
3. The Selfie Stick: Why did the blonde try to use a real tree branch to take a photo? She heard “Selfie Sticks” were the new trend and wanted an “all-natural” version.
4. The Flappy Bird: Why did the blonde throw her phone against the wall? She was playing “Flappy Bird” and thought the bird would fly better if it had more “wind.”
5. The Grand Theft Auto V: Why did the blonde try to pay for her groceries with a toy gun? She played too much “GTA V” and forgot that real life doesn’t have a “respawn” button.
6. The Harlem Shake: Why did the blonde start dancing wildly in the middle of a quiet library? She heard the bass drop and thought she was in a “Harlem Shake” video.
7. The Bitcoin Surge: Why did the blonde try to put a physical coin into her USB port? She heard Bitcoin was hitting $1000 and she wanted to “deposit” her savings into the internet.
8. The Netflix Binge: Why did the blonde stay in bed for three days? She heard about “Binge-watching” on Netflix and thought it was a new type of medical rest.
9. The Miley Cyrus: Why did the blonde try to ride a real wrecking ball at a construction site? She wanted to recreate the music video but forgot she wasn’t “Cyrus-sized.”
10. The Smartwatch: Why did the blonde keep talking to her wrist? She got her first “Smartwatch” and thought there was a tiny person living inside it.

The Full 2013 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Mouse: Why did the blonde give her mouse a piece of cheese? She thought it was “hungry” for more gigabytes.
12. The Keyboard: Why did the blonde put a bandage on her keyboard? She heard she had a “stuck” key.
13. The Monitor: Why did the blonde put sunglasses on her monitor? She said the “Windows” were too bright today.
14. The Printer: Why did the blonde put a mirror in front of the printer? She wanted to see a “double” printout.
15. The Scanner: Why did the blonde put a picture of her face on the scanner? She wanted to “face” her digital problems.
16. The Email: Why did the blonde keep her computer in the freezer? She was waiting for “cool” mail.
17. The Password: Why did the blonde change her password to “Incorrect”? Because the computer kept telling her the old one was “incorrect.”
18. The Desktop: Why did the blonde put a glass of water on her desktop? She wanted to see the “liquid” in the LCD screen.
19. The Icon: Why did the blonde think her computer was a church? It had so many “icons” on the screen.
20. The Folder: Why did the blonde put a real folder on her monitor? She wanted to “organize” her desktop files.
21. The Link: Why did the blonde bring a chain to the computer? She heard there were “broken links.”
22. The Virus: Why did the blonde give her computer a glass of orange juice? She heard there was a “new virus” going around.
23. The CD: Why did the blonde use her CD as a frisbee? She wanted to “transfer” data to her friend across the street.
24. The Search: Why did the blonde use a magnifying glass on her screen? She was “searching” for the home page.
25. The Scroll: Why did the blonde bring a rolling pin to the computer? She heard she needed to “scroll” down the page.
26. The Font: Why did the blonde change her font to “Arial”? She wanted her text to have “more air.”
27. The Port: Why did the blonde bring a suitcase to her computer? She heard it had a “USB port.”
28. The Bit: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to see if it had 32 “bits.”
29. The Chip: Why did the blonde put a potato chip in her computer? She heard it needed a “microchip.”
30. The Fan: Why did the blonde bring a pom-pom to her computer? She wanted to be a “fan” of the cooling system.
31. The RAM: Why did the blonde bring a sheep to the office? She heard the computer needed more “RAM” for the new software.
32. The Hard Drive: Why did the blonde take her computer for a long walk? She wanted to give it a “hard drive.”
33. The Firewall: Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the computer? She heard it had a “firewall.”
34. The Buffer: Why did the blonde bring a car wax? She heard the video was “buffering.”
35. The Cookies: Why did the blonde look inside her computer? She was looking for the “cookies” the websites promised her.
36. The Crash: Why did the blonde call a tow truck? Her computer “crashed” on the information highway.
37. The Java: Why did the blonde pour coffee on her mouse? She wanted to use “Java.”
38. The Bug: Why did the blonde use bug spray on her screen? She heard there was a “software bug.”
39. The Bookmark: Why did the blonde put a post-it note on her monitor? She wanted to “bookmark” a site.
40. The Refresh: Why did the blonde splash water on her face? She clicked “Refresh” on her browser.
41. The Instagram Direct: Why did the blonde try to talk to her screen? She heard about “Direct Messaging” and thought it was a voice-activated mail.
42. The End: Why did the blonde think 2013 was the “coolest” year? Because she spent the whole time telling her problems to “Let It Go” on Vine!