58 Classic Blonde Jokes: The 2016 Archive

The 2016 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The Pokémon GO Hunt: Why did the blonde try to jump into the middle of a lake with her smartphone? She heard there was a “Lapras” nearby and she didn’t want it to get its feet wet.
2. The Fidget Spinner: Why did the blonde stare at her fidget spinner for three hours? She was waiting for it to “download” the next level of the game.
3. The Bottle Flip Challenge: Why did the blonde try to flip her laptop on its side? She saw the “Bottle Flip Challenge” and thought her computer needed to land a “perfect 10” to restart.
4. The No Headphone Jack: Why did the blonde try to drill a hole in the bottom of her new iPhone 7? She heard it was the “secret DIY way” to find the missing headphone jack.
5. The Instagram Stories: Why did the blonde keep telling her secrets to her phone for exactly 15 seconds? She heard about “Instagram Stories” and thought they were voice-activated confessions.
6. The Mannequin Challenge: Why did the blonde stay perfectly still in the middle of a busy intersection? She thought she was in a “Mannequin Challenge” and was waiting for the music to start.
7. The Stranger Things: Why did the blonde put Christmas lights all over her living room wall in July? She watched “Stranger Things” and thought she was finally getting a “smart home” upgrade.
8. The Leonardo DiCaprio Oscar: Why did the blonde try to give her computer a gold medal? She heard Leo finally won an Oscar and thought every “screen” deserved a trophy.
9. The UberEats Launch: Why did the blonde try to “order” a new kitchen through her phone? She heard about “UberEats” and thought they were delivering whole restaurants now.
10. The Nintendo NES Classic: Why did the blonde try to blow into her HDMI port? She bought the “NES Classic” and thought she had to revive the 80s “cartridge” tradition to make it work.

The Full 2016 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Mouse: Why did the blonde give her mouse a piece of cheese? She thought it was “hungry” for more gigabytes.
12. The Keyboard: Why did the blonde put a bandage on her keyboard? She heard she had a “stuck” key.
13. The Monitor: Why did the blonde put sunglasses on her monitor? She said the “Windows” were too bright today.
14. The Printer: Why did the blonde put a mirror in front of the printer? She wanted to see a “double” printout.
15. The Scanner: Why did the blonde put a picture of her face on the scanner? She wanted to “face” her digital problems.
16. The Email: Why did the blonde keep her computer in the freezer? She was waiting for “cool” mail.
17. The Password: Why did the blonde change her password to “Incorrect”? Because the computer kept telling her the old one was “incorrect.”
18. The Desktop: Why did the blonde put a glass of water on her desktop? She wanted to see the “liquid” in the LCD screen.
19. The Icon: Why did the blonde think her computer was a church? It had so many “icons” on the screen.
20. The Folder: Why did the blonde put a real folder on her monitor? She wanted to “organize” her desktop files.
21. The Link: Why did the blonde bring a chain to the computer? She heard there were “broken links.”
22. The Virus: Why did the blonde give her computer a glass of orange juice? She heard there was a “new virus” going around.
23. The CD: Why did the blonde use her CD as a frisbee? She wanted to “transfer” data to her friend across the street.
24. The Search: Why did the blonde use a magnifying glass on her screen? She was “searching” for the home page.
25. The Scroll: Why did the blonde bring a rolling pin to the computer? She heard she needed to “scroll” down the page.
26. The Font: Why did the blonde change her font to “Arial”? She wanted her text to have “more air.”
27. The Port: Why did the blonde bring a suitcase to her computer? She heard it had a “USB port.”
28. The Bit: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to see if it had 32 “bits.”
29. The Chip: Why did the blonde put a potato chip in her computer? She heard it needed a “microchip.”
30. The Fan: Why did the blonde bring a pom-pom to her computer? She wanted to be a “fan” of the cooling system.
31. The RAM: Why did the blonde bring a sheep to the office? She heard the computer needed more “RAM” for the new software.
32. The Hard Drive: Why did the blonde take her computer for a long walk? She wanted to give it a “hard drive.”
33. The Firewall: Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the computer? She heard it had a “firewall.”
34. The Buffer: Why did the blonde bring a car wax? She heard the video was “buffering.”
35. The Cookies: Why did the blonde look inside her computer? She was looking for the “cookies” the websites promised her.
36. The Crash: Why did the blonde call a tow truck? Her computer “crashed” on the information highway.
37. The Java: Why did the blonde pour coffee on her mouse? She wanted to use “Java.”
38. The Bug: Why did the blonde use bug spray on her screen? She heard there was a “software bug.”
39. The Bookmark: Why did the blonde put a post-it note on her monitor? She wanted to “bookmark” a site.
40. The Refresh: Why did the blonde splash water on her face? She clicked “Refresh” on her browser.
41. The Snapchat Filters: Why did the blonde try to bark at her reflection? She thought the “dog filter” was permanent.
42. The 4G LTE: Why did the blonde run faster while texting? She heard she had “4G” and wanted to keep up.
43. The Smart TV: Why did the blonde ask her TV for advice? She heard it was a “Smart TV.”
44. The Fitbit: Why did the blonde try to feed her watch a salad? She heard it was a “Fit-bit.”
45. The AirPods Preview: Why did the blonde try to cut the wires off her old headphones? She heard about “AirPods” and thought it was a DIY project.
46. The Netflix Binge: Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the computer? She heard about “Netflix and chill.”
47. The Bitcoin: Why did the blonde try to polish her hard drive? She heard Bitcoins were “digital gold.”
48. The Wearables: Why did the blonde try to wear her laptop as a hat? She heard “wearable tech” was the new fashion.
49. The 4K Video: Why did the blonde put four keys on her monitor? She heard she was watching a “4K” video.
50. The Google Home: Why did the blonde ask her house where she left her keys? She heard Google was now a “Home” appliance.
51. The VR Headset: Why did the blonde walk into a wall while wearing a bucket on her head? She was trying to build her own “Virtual Reality” experience.
52. The Facebook Live: Why did the blonde start talking to her fridge? She thought she was on “Facebook Live” and the world was watching her lunch.
53. The Hashtag: Why did the blonde put a pound sign on her car? She wanted to be “searchable” on the highway.
54. The Cloud Storage: Why did the blonde put her phone in a bag of cotton candy? She heard it was “Cloud storage.”
55. The E-Book: Why did the blonde try to charge her paperback? She thought it was an “E-book.”
56. The App Review: Why did the blonde write a letter to her screen? She wanted to leave a “review” for her flashlight.
57. The Selfie: Why did the blonde try to take a photo of her brain? She heard it was the only way to prove it was still “online.”
58. The End: Why did the blonde think 2016 was a “catchy” year? Because she spent the whole time trying to catch a Pokémon in her own kitchen!