38 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2008 “Iron Man & Rickroll” Edition

In 2008, Thanksgiving was a mix of superhero origins, vampire fever, and the year we realized our wallets were as empty as the turkey carcass after dinner. It was the year of “Change,” “Yes We Can,” and the most legendary Rickroll in history.

The 2008 Top 10: “Vampires, Iron Men & Change”

1. The Macy’s Rickroll: Why was the 2008 parade the greatest of all time? Because Rick Astley popped out of a Cartoon Network float and personally Rickrolled the entire nation right before the turkey was served.
2. Iron Man: Why did Dad feel like Tony Stark? Because he finally assembled a new high-tech toy without a “system failure,” even though the only arc reactor in the house was the glowing heating element of the electric oven.
3. Twilight: Why did the teenage girls refuse to eat the roasted turkey? Because after the movie premiered, they preferred a “vampire diet,” and Robert Pattinson made being “deathly pale” from staying indoors for three days the height of fashion.
4. Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”: Why was the kitchen in total chaos? Because every aunt was trying to recreate the music video choreography, waving a ring finger (or a turkey drumstick) every time the song went “Uh-oh, uh-oh.”
5. The Obama Election: Why was the atmosphere so hopeful? Because “Yes We Can” applied to everything—from winning an election to squeezing in a third helping of stuffing that nobody thought was humanly possible.
6. The Dark Knight: Why was Uncle Jim acting so moody? Because after seeing Heath Ledger’s Joker, he spent the whole meal asking, “Why so serious?” whenever Grandma complained that the gravy was too thin.
7. Wall-E: Why did the kids actually clean up their plates (for 5 minutes)? Because Pixar’s little robot taught them that Earth was a giant trash heap, but the inspiration faded as soon as they realized they had to actually take the garbage out.
8. The iPhone 3G & App Store: Why was the tech-cousin so smug? Because his phone finally had an “App Store,” so he could download a digital fart machine to play under the table during the boring family toasts.
9. Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”: Why was Grandma so confused? Because the song was everywhere, and she still couldn’t figure out if it was a “scandalous confession” or just a very long advertisement for cherry-flavored chapstick.
10. The Financial Crisis: Why was the turkey smaller this year? Because in 2008, “stuffing” became a metaphor for everyone’s bank account—there’s technically something inside, but it’s mostly just crumbs and hope.

The Full 2008 Archive (Highlights)

11. Gossip Girl: Why was everyone checking their phones? Because they wanted to know who brought the “scandalous” store-bought pie, and the only one who could reveal it was Gossip Girl (or the 10-year-old sister).
12. Kung Fu Panda: Why were the kids fighting with chopsticks? Because Jack Black taught them that “there is no secret ingredient,” which was Mom’s perfect excuse for forgetting the salt in the potatoes.
13. Britney Spears’ Comeback: Why was the Circus album on the table? Because Britney was back on top, and the aunts figured if she could survive 2007, they could survive this “circus” called a family dinner.
14. High School Musical 3: Why were the teens crying during dessert? Because it was “Senior Year,” and the prospect of high school ending was scarier than meeting the uncle who always asks about their SAT scores.
15. The Beijing Olympics: Why did Dad make us eat so fast? Because Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals, and Dad decided our family needed to break the world record for “clearing the table in under three minutes.”
16. Elf Yourself: Why were everyone’s inboxes full? Because OfficeMax made it possible to paste Grandpa’s face onto a dancing elf, which was funny exactly three times.
17. Madagascar 2: Why was the uncle dancing by the salad? Because “I like to move it, move it” was still the vibe, and the thought of going back to work on Monday required a heavy beat.
18. The Sarah Palin Impression: Why was nobody taking Dad seriously? Because every time he tried to talk about politics, Aunt Susan replied with Tina Fey’s SNL quotes about “seeing Russia from her house.”
19. Indiana Jones 4: Why was Grandpa looking for a “Crystal Skull” in the fridge? Because he saw the movie and believed every can of beer hid an ancient mystery (or at least a cold beverage).
20. Mamma Mia!: Why were Mom and the aunts singing ABBA while doing dishes? Because the movie was a hit, and cleaning up for 20 people requires being a “Dancing Queen” just to stay sane.
21. The MacBook Air Envelope: Why did the tech-uncle bring a manila office envelope to dinner? To show off that the world’s thinnest laptop fit inside it (and took up less space than a serving of green beans).
22. Sex and the City (Movie): Why were the cousins drinking Cosmopolitans instead of tea? Because Carrie Bradshaw finally hit the big screen, and they felt the dining room was their own personal NYC runway.
23. The Giants’ Super Bowl Upset: Why was half the family in euphoria and the other in mourning? Because the Giants beat the “undefeated” Patriots, which was a safer topic than the 2008 interest rates.
24. T.I.’s “Whatever You Like”: Why was the uncle so generous with the mashed potatoes? “You can have whatever you like… as long as it’s starch with extra butter.”
25. The Nintendo Wii Fit: Why was Grandma standing on a white plastic board after dinner? Because she got Wii Fit and wanted to see if her “Wii Age” increased after two slices of cheesecake.
26. Jumper: Why were the kids running through the house? Because Hayden Christensen taught them they could teleport, and they were desperately trying to “jump” away from the chore of drying the dishes.
27. The Great Schlep: Why did the grandkids call their grandparents in Florida? Because Sarah Silverman convinced them to “schlep” some political education to the seniors before the holiday.
28. Taken: Why was Dad so intimidating while carving? Because after seeing Liam Neeson, he said: “I don’t know who you are, but if you don’t pass the gravy, I will find you and I will… not give you any pie.”
29. The Large Hadron Collider: Why was everyone afraid to turn on the oven? Because CERN flipped the switch on the particle accelerator and some people thought a black hole would start with a burnt turkey.
30. Hancock: Why was the turkey so “messy”? Because Will Smith showed that a superhero can be tired and grumpy, which became the cook’s official philosophy for 2008.
31. The Pussycat Dolls: Why were the cousins asking “When I Grow Up”? Because they wanted to have their own reality show, and Thanksgiving was the perfect time to audition for “The Most Dramatic Family Member.”
32. The Craigslist Killer Hype: Why was Mom so worried about the “Free Stuff” section? Because the news was full of internet scares, and she was convinced the turkey we bought online might be a trap.
33. The Jonas Brothers: Why was the basement high-pitched? Because the Jo-Bros were at the peak of their power, and “Burnin’ Up” was the only song playing on the portable CD player.
34. Slumdog Millionaire: Why was the trivia game so intense? Because everyone felt like they were one question away from winning a million dollars (or at least the rights to the remote).
35. The G1 Android Phone: Why was the tech-uncle arguing with the iPhone-uncle? Because the first Android phone just launched, and the war for the future of our pockets had officially begun.
36. Vampire Knight: Why was the “anime” cousin so quiet? Because Twilight wasn’t enough; she was busy reading manga about more vampires while ignoring the “human” food.
37. The Hulu Launch: Why was everyone watching TV on a laptop? Because Hulu officially opened to the public, and we realized we could skip the Macy’s Parade and just watch the highlights later.
38. The Final 2008 Vibe: Why was it a year of “Change”? Because for the first time, a Rickroll was more entertaining than the actual news, and we believed “Yes We Can” survive any family dinner.