35 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2009 “Avatar & FarmVille” Edition

In 2009, Thanksgiving was about wearing 3D glasses at the table, clicking on digital cows, and learning that “Poker Face” was the only way to hide your reaction to burnt stuffing.

The 2002 Top 10: “Na’vi Blue & Kanye’s Interruption”

1. Avatar: Why was the 2009 turkey so expensive? Because James Cameron spent 15 years and $300 million developing it, and you had to wear special 3D glasses just to see the gravy in high definition.
2. Kanye West vs. Taylor Swift: Why was the toast so awkward? Because just as Grandma started to say grace, Uncle Jim grabbed the wine glass and shouted, “Yo Grandma, I’m happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but Mom had one of the best turkeys of all time!”
3. FarmVille: Why was the teenager so worried about the “harvest”? Because he didn’t care about the real turkey on the table—he was terrified his virtual corn on Facebook would wither if he didn’t click it before the pie was served.
4. Lady Gaga’s Meat Dress: Why was the fashion choice so confusing? Because after seeing Gaga, Mom spent the whole day worried that someone would try to wear the leftover ham as a fascinator or a pair of flank-steak heels.
5. The Hangover: Why was there a tiger in the bathroom? Nobody knew, but after the movie became a hit, the “Wolfpack” (the cousins) spent the whole night trying to figure out where they left the car and why Uncle Dave was missing a tooth.
6. The iPhone 3GS: Why was the tech-uncle so fast? Because the “S” stood for Speed, and he could now upload a photo of the bird to Facebook in under 30 seconds, which felt like living in a sci-fi movie.
7. The Twilight Saga: New Moon: Why was the dinner table a war zone? Because you had to choose a side: Team Edward (for those who liked cold turkey) or Team Jacob (for those who preferred it hot and “werewolf-level” spicy).
8. The Swine Flu (H1N1): Why was everyone carrying hand sanitizer? Because the H1N1 pandemic meant that if you coughed near the mashed potatoes, you were legally required to eat in the garage.
9. Michael Jackson’s “This Is It”: Why was the mood so nostalgic? Because the world was mourning the King of Pop, and every time someone tried to pass the rolls, they ended up doing a moonwalk across the linoleum.
10. The Snuggie: Why did the 2004 family photo look like a cult meeting? Because everyone received a “blanket with sleeves” for an early gift and sat at the table looking like very cozy, very fleece-covered monks.

The Full 2009 Archive (Highlights)

11. Glee: Why was the dinner a musical? Because the show premiered, and suddenly the whole family felt the need to perform a synchronized version of “Don’t Stop Believin'” while doing the dishes.
12. Up: Why were there 500 balloons tied to the turkey? Because the kids were convinced that if the bird didn’t fly to Paradise Falls, the meal was a total failure.
13. Uncharted 2: Why was the nephew climbing the kitchen cabinets? Because Nathan Drake made “extreme parkour” look easy, and the boy was looking for the “lost treasure” of hidden chocolate.
14. The “Double Rainbow” (Hype): Why was the cousin crying at the window? “It’s a double rainbow! What does it mean?! It’s so bright and vivid!” (It actually just meant it was raining during the game).
15. Angry Birds: Why was everyone flicking their fingers at the screen? Because the first Angry Birds launched on iOS, and the war against the green pigs was more important than the war against the dry breast meat.
16. Modern Family: Why did the dinner feel like a mockumentary? Because the show premiered, and everyone started talking to an invisible camera crew in the hallway to complain about their relatives.
17. The Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling”: Why was the mood so optimistic? Because the song was #1 for 14 weeks, and we all really felt that tonight was gonna be a good night… until the Raiders lost the game.
18. The Palm Pre: Why was the tech-uncle trying to “swipe” a pebble? Because he bought the “iPhone killer” from Palm and was convinced that webOS cards were the peak of human civilization.
19. Paranormal Activity: Why was nobody sleeping? Because the “found footage” horror made everyone think the thumping sound in the attic wasn’t the heater—it was a demon coming for the leftovers.
20. Jersey Shore: Why was the cousin’s hair so high? Because the show was about to premiere, and she was already practicing her “poof” and “GTL” (Gravy, Turkey, Leftovers) routine.
21. Windows 7: Why was the computer actually working? Because Microsoft finally replaced Vista, and Dad was “actually enjoying his PC” for the first time in three years.
22. The “Slumdog Millionaire” Sweep: Why was the trivia so competitive? Because the movie won 8 Oscars, and everyone felt like they were one question away from escaping the “slums” of the kids’ table.
23. The Miracle on the Hudson: Why did we toast to Captain Sully? Because Sully Sullenberger showed us that even when things go south, a cool head and a “water landing” can save the day.
24. Star Trek (Reboot): Why was the turkey so “logical”? Because Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto made space travel cool again, and Dad was carving the bird with “Phaser-like” precision.
25. The Kindle 2: Why was the reading so gray? Because the new Kindle arrived, and Grandma was trying to “turn the page” by swiping her finger across a non-touch e-ink screen.
26. Parks and Recreation: Why was the aunt so obsessed with local government? Because Leslie Knope inspired her to treat the seating chart like a high-stakes town hall meeting.
27. The Bitcoin Whitepaper (First Year): Why was the “weird” cousin talking about “magic internet money”? Because the first Bitcoin block was mined in 2009, and he tried to pay for his share of the groceries with a digital hash code.
28. He’s Just Not That Into You: Why was the dating advice so brutal? Because the movie taught every single woman at the table that if the guy didn’t call, he wasn’t “busy”—he just didn’t want the pumpkin pie.
29. The Word “Unfriend”: Why was the meal so tense? Because the New Oxford American Dictionary made “unfriend” the word of the year, and everyone was one political comment away from a digital breakup.
30. Minecraft (Classic): Why was the nephew obsessed with blocks? Because the very first public version of Minecraft was out, and he was building a 1:1 scale replica of the turkey out of virtual dirt.
31. The Ghostbusters Video Game: Why was the basement full of “Proton Packs”? Because the original cast returned for the game, and the cousins were too busy catching Slimer to help with the dishes.
32. Susan Boyle: Why was the singing so surprising? Because the Britain’s Got Talent clip went viral, and everyone learned that you should never judge a book—or a lumpy potato—by its cover.
33. Zombieland: Why was the uncle obsessed with “Rule #1: Cardio”? Because he was preparing for the Black Friday sprint and needed to make sure he could outrun the other “zombies” at Best Buy.
34. The Great Recession (Recovery?): Why was the mood “cautiously optimistic”? Because the market was finally bouncing back, and “frugal” was still the most popular seasoning for the 2009 bird.
35. The Final 2009 Vibe: Why was it the end of an era? Because we were leaving the “2000s” behind, entering a new decade where our phones were smarter than us and our “friends” were mostly people we hadn’t seen in 10 years.