36 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2015 “The Dress & Hello from Adele” Edition

In 2015, Thanksgiving was about debating the color of outfits, trying to buy “Hamilton” tickets, and realizing that Justin Bieber was finally making music we were allowed to like.

The 2015 Top 10: “Blue-Black Turkey & Space Wars”

1. The Dress: Why was the 2015 dinner a disaster? Because half the table insisted the turkey was golden-brown, while the other half was convinced it was blue and black.
2. Adele’s “Hello”: Why was Mom crying in the pantry? Because she heard the first three chords of Adele’s comeback and spent the rest of the day saying, “Hello from the other side (of the kitchen), I must have basted a thousand times.”
3. Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Why was the carving so intense? Because after 10 years, Star Wars was back, and Dad was convinced he could use “The Force” to move the gravy boat without touching it.
4. The Apple Watch: Why was the tech-uncle staring at his wrist? Because he bought the first Apple Watch and spent the whole meal checking his “stand goal” while sitting perfectly still for four hours.
5. Hamilton: Why was the history talk so rhythmic? Because the musical was a phenomenon, and the kids were rapping the entire story of the Founding Fathers instead of saying a normal prayer.
6. Hotline Bling: Why was Dad dancing so weirdly in the hallway? Because Drake’s music video came out, and Dad realized that “awkward turtleneck dancing” was finally a cool thing for middle-aged men to do.
7. The “Crying with Laughter” Emoji: Why was the card so confusing? Because Oxford Dictionaries made 😂 the Word of the Year, and Grandma thought it meant everyone was sobbing over the dry stuffing.
8. Inside Out: Why was the dinner an emotional rollercoaster? Because Pixar taught us that “Joy” and “Sadness” have to work together, which is also the official motto for hosting 20 relatives in one house.
9. Jurassic World: Why was the dog so terrified? Because the kids were doing the “Chris Pratt Raptor Training” pose every time the poor animal tried to sneak a piece of fallen turkey.
10. Hoverboards (The Exploding Ones): Why was there a fire extinguisher by the table? Because everyone got those two-wheeled balance boards for an early gift, and we weren’t sure if they were going to transport us to the kitchen or just spontaneously combust.

The Full 2015 Archive (Highlights)

11. Mad Max: Fury Road: Why was the trip to the grocery store so intense? Because Dad saw the movie and treated the parking lot like a post-apocalyptic wasteland, shouting “WITNESS ME!” as he grabbed the last bag of cranberries.
12. The Minions Movie: Why was everything yellow? Because the Minions were everywhere—on the cups, the napkins, and apparently in the kids’ heads, as they only spoke in gibberish for three days.
13. Justin Bieber’s “Purpose”: Why was the “cool” cousin finally admitting he liked the music? Because “Sorry” and “What Do You Mean?” were so catchy that even the most hardcore haters were humming them while mashing potatoes.
14. The Pluto Flyby: Why was the toast so astronomical? Because NASA’s New Horizons finally showed us Pluto’s “heart,” and we all agreed that even if it’s not a planet, it’s still invited to dinner.
15. Netflix & Chill: Why was the term banned from the dinner table? Because Grandma asked if we were going to “Netflix and Chill” with the leftovers, and the ensuing silence was the longest in family history.
16. Caitlyn Jenner’s Debut: Why was the conversation so focused on “courage”? Because the Vanity Fair cover was the biggest news of the summer, and it led to a very long talk about identity and the 70s.
17. The Martian: Why were the potatoes so special? Because Matt Damon grew them on Mars, so Dad claimed our lumpy mash was a “scientific breakthrough in extraterrestrial agriculture.”
18. The Leftshark: Why was the centerpiece a shark with no rhythm? Because Katy Perry’s Super Bowl performance was still the best meme of the year, and we all identified with the shark who didn’t know the steps.
19. Windows 10: Why was the computer actually behaving? Because Microsoft gave it away for free, and for once, the “family IT guy” (the nephew) didn’t have to fix the Wi-Fi during the game.
20. The Peanuts Movie: Why did the dog look like a pilot? Because Snoopy was back on the big screen, and we were all feeling “Good Grief” about how much we’d eaten.
21. The Great British Bake Off (The Nadiya Win): Why was the cake so emotional? Because Nadiya Hussain won the show and reminded us that “I’m never going to put boundaries on myself again.”
22. The “Pizza Rat” Viral Video: Why was nobody allowed to drop food on the floor? Because we were terrified a local rodent would show up and drag a whole slice of pie down the basement stairs.
23. Fifty Shades of Grey (The Movie): Why was the kitchen “spicy”? Because the movie finally came out, and Mom was using “industrial-grade” zip ties for the turkey legs just to feel trendy.
24. The 1-cent Amazon Prime Day: Why were there so many weird items in the house? Because the first Prime Day happened, and Dad bought 400 rolls of tape and a giant shoe rack because they were “practically free.”
25. The Discovery of Liquid Water on Mars: Why was the gravy so thin? Because Dad said he was “honoring the Martian oceans” by not adding enough cornstarch.
26. Empire (The TV Show): Why was the family drama so “Cookie Lyon”? Because the show was a hit, and Aunt Susan was acting like she owned the entire “Thanksgiving Entertainment Empire.”
27. The “Deez Nuts” Candidate: Why was the political talk so ridiculous? Because a 15-year-old boy ran for president under a meme name and actually got 9% of the vote in North Carolina.
28. Amy Schumer’s “Trainwreck”: Why was the aunt laughing so loudly? Because she finally felt seen by a movie that celebrated being a “beautiful disaster” during the holidays.
29. The “Shia LaBeouf – DO IT!” Video: Why was the kitchen so motivating? Because every time someone wanted to quit peeling onions, the kids would stand behind them and scream, “JUST DO IT! YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW!”
30. Straight Outta Compton: Why were the “Straight Outta [City Name]” memes everywhere? Because everyone was proud of their roots, even if they were just “Straight Outta Stuffing.”
31. The Fall of Vine (The Beginning): Why were the 6-second jokes getting desperate? Because people knew the end was near, and they were trying to fit a whole lifetime of comedy into one loop before dinner.
32. The “Dad Bod”: Why was Dad so confident in his tight sweater? Because 2015 was the year the “Dad Bod” became a recognized and celebrated physique.
33. Scream Queens: Why was the dinner so “slay”? Because the show made “horror-comedy” the official vibe for anyone under the age of 25.
34. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2: Why was it finally over? Because the rebellion was finished, the war was won, and we could finally stop talking about “The Odds” and start talking about the leftovers.
35. The Microsoft Surface Book: Why was the tech-uncle confused again? Because the screen detached from the keyboard, and he wasn’t sure if he was holding a tablet or just a very expensive piece of metal.
36. The Final 2015 Vibe: Why was it a “Hello” to the future? Because we finally realized that everything—from our movies to our music to our turkey—was about to get a “reboot.”