37 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2016 “Pokémon GO & Mannequin Challenge” Edition

In 2016, Thanksgiving was a wild ride. We were busy catching virtual monsters between courses, debating “Stranger Things” fan theories, and trying to stay perfectly still for the internet.

The 2016 Top 10: “Pocket Monsters & Upside Down Turkeys”

1. Pokémon GO: Why was the 2016 dinner so distracted? Because there was a Dragonite spawned right on top of the mashed potatoes, and the kids were more interested in “catching ’em all” than eating ’em all.
2. Mannequin Challenge: Why did everyone freeze for two minutes during the main course? Because it was the biggest viral trend of the year, and we had to stay perfectly still while “Black Beatles” played, just so we could look cool on Instagram.
3. Stranger Things: Why were the Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving? Because after the show premiered, Mom was using them to communicate with Will in the Upside Down, asking him where he hid the extra napkins.
4. Harambe: Why was the toast so somber? Because 2016 was the year of the internet’s favorite gorilla, and someone inevitably shouted, “Dicks out for Harambe!” right before the carving began.
5. Dabbing: Why was the nephew constantly burying his face in his elbow? He wasn’t crying over the broccoli; he was just performing the “Dab,” which Grandma was 100% convinced was a new, stylish way to stifle a sneeze.
6. The Cubs Win the World Series: Why was the Chicago uncle actually crying? Because after 108 years, the curse was finally broken, and he finally had something to be more thankful for than “maybe next year.”
7. Bottle Flipping: Why was there a constant thump-thump-thump sound? Because every kid at the table was trying to land a half-full water bottle upright on its cap, which is apparently the only skill that mattered in 2016.
8. The Clown Sightings: Why was everyone looking nervously out the window? Because for some reason, 2016 was the year creepy clowns were roaming the suburbs, making “taking out the trash” a high-stakes horror movie.
9. The 2016 Election: What was the one rule at the table? “No talking about the election,” which lasted exactly four minutes before someone mentioned “The Wall” or “The Emails” and the gravy boat became a projectile.
10. Deadpool: Why was the turkey so “meta”? Because Ryan Reynolds made breaking the fourth wall cool, so Dad spent the meal talking directly to an imaginary camera about the quality of his own stuffing.

The Full 2016 Archive (Highlights)

11. Lemonade: Why was the kitchen so “sour”? Because Beyoncé dropped her visual album, and every woman at the table was looking at their husband with a baseball bat named “Becky with the good hair.”
12. The Samsung Galaxy Note 7: Why was the phone banned from the table? Because they were spontaneously combusting, and we already had enough fire hazards with the “Pinterest-inspired” candle centerpieces.
13. Zootopia: Why did the service take so long? Because the kids were pretending the person passing the rolls was Flash the Sloth, moving at approximately one inch per hour.
14. The “Damn Daniel” Meme: Why was the cousin being complimented on his footwear? “Damn Daniel! Back at it again with the white Vans!” (Even though he was wearing dress shoes).
15. Hillary Clinton’s “Chai-ing”: Why was the aunt trying to be “relatable”? Because she saw the “Chilling in Cedar Rapids” video and thought “just chilling” was a personality trait.
16. Moana: Why was the kid singing to the sink? Because “How Far I’ll Go” was the new “Let It Go,” and she was convinced the dishwater was calling her to the reef.
17. The Headphone Jack Removal (iPhone 7): Why was the tech-uncle so annoyed? Because Apple removed the jack, and he had to use a “dongle” just to listen to his podcasts while hiding in the bathroom.
18. Westworld: Why was Dad acting so robotic? Because the show premiered, and he kept asking everyone if they had ever questioned the nature of their reality (usually while pointing at a lumpy yam).
19. The “Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen” (PPAP) Song: Why was everyone stabbing their food with pens? Because the viral Japanese video made “Pen-Turkey-Stuffing-Pen” a mandatory musical number.
20. Suicide Squad: Why did the niece have dyed hair and baseball bat? Because Harley Quinn was the only fashion icon of 2016, and she was “bad” (but only at doing the dishes).
21. The Gig Economy: Why was there a stranger in the kitchen? It wasn’t a guest; it was just a guy from TaskRabbit that Dad hired to “expertly carve” the bird because he didn’t want to mess up his shirt.
22. The “Salt Bae” (Early Hype): Why was the uncle dropping salt off his forearm? Because he was practicing his niche internet meme moves to make the seasoning look more “theatrical.”
23. Finding Dory: Why did we forget where we put the leftovers? “Just keep swimming… just keep swimming… wait, what was I doing in the kitchen?”
24. The “Ken Bone” Hype: Why was the uncle in the red sweater so popular? Because for one week in October, a guy in a half-zip pullover was the most trusted person in America.
25. Snapchat Filters (The Dog): Why was everyone sticking their tongues out at their phones? Because if you didn’t have virtual dog ears and a wet nose, did you even celebrate Thanksgiving?
26. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Trailers): Why were the kids so hyped for next year? Because Nintendo showed off the open world, and the kids were already planning to “forage” for dinner in 2017.
27. Rogue One: Why was the dinner so rebellious? Because “Rebellions are built on hope,” and we were hoping that the turkey wasn’t as dry as the deserts of Jedha.
28. Hiddleswift: Why was the celebrity gossip so fast? Because Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift dated for like five minutes, and we spent the whole meal trying to figure out if it was a “stunt” or “true love.”
29. The Nintendo NES Classic: Why was the tech-uncle crying? Because he tried to buy the mini retro-console and it was sold out everywhere, leaving him to play with his original, dusty 1985 version.
30. La La Land: Why was the atmosphere so “dreamy”? Because the movie was the Oscar frontrunner, and we were all just “City of Stars” trying to find a seat at the table.
31. The “Arthur’s Fist” Meme: Why was the teenager clenching his hand? He wasn’t mad; he was just recreating the meme to show his internal frustration with the lack of marshmallows on the yams.
32. Black Mirror: Why was everyone suspicious of the smart-fridge? Because the show made us all terrified of our own technology, and we were pretty sure the oven was judging our life choices.
33. The “Chewbacca Mom” Video: Why was someone laughing hysterically in a plastic mask? Because Candace Payne reminded us that the simplest things (and a noisy mask) are the keys to happiness.
34. Carpool Karaoke: Why was the car ride to Grandma’s so loud? Because James Corden made singing in the car the only legal way to travel in 2016.
35. The Golden State Warriors 73-9: Why was the basketball-uncle so bitter? Because they had the best season ever and still lost the finals, proving that being “perfect” doesn’t get you the championship (or the last slice of pie).
36. No Man’s Sky: Why was the “hype” so low? Because after the game’s launch, we learned that a “procedurally generated” turkey might sound cool, but it’s often just empty space.
37. The Final 2016 Vibe: Why was it so “Unreal”? Because between catching virtual pets and freezing like statues, we weren’t sure if we were in the real world or just a very glitchy simulation.