35 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2021 “Bernie’s Mittens & Squid Game” Edition

In 2021, Thanksgiving was about awkward family reunions, wondering if your “Diamond Hands” would pay for the turkey, and trying to survive the “Red Light, Green Light” walk to the buffet.

The 2021 Top 10: “Mittens, Meta, and Marbles”

1. Bernie’s Mittens: Why was the 2021 dinner so “Vermont-chic”? Because after the Inauguration, everyone sat in their chairs with their arms crossed, wearing huge wool mittens and looking like they’d rather be at the post office.
2. Squid Game: Why was the appetizer course so intense? Because the kids were playing “Red Light, Green Light” in the hallway, and if you moved while the turkey timer buzzed, you were “eliminated” from getting any pie.
3. The Evergreen Ship (Suez Canal): Why was the gravy so late? Because Dad claimed the gravy boat got stuck sideways in the kitchen doorway, blocking all traffic between the stove and the table for six days.
4. NFTs (Non-Fungible Turkeys): Why did the “crypto” cousin refuse to share his plate? Because he “minted” his drumstick on the blockchain and told everyone they could only look at it, but “owning the JPEG of the turkey” was where the real value was.
5. The Metaverse: Why was Dad wearing a VR headset at the table? Because Mark Zuckerberg changed the name of Facebook to Meta, and Dad wanted to eat his virtual stuffing in a digital forest where Aunt Susan couldn’t complain about the politics.
6. Free Guy: Why was the dinner so “NPC”? Because after the Ryan Reynolds movie, we realized that we’re all just background characters in Mom’s high-stakes “Thanksgiving Simulation.”
7. Dune: Why was there sand in the salad? Because after the movie came out, Dad was convinced that “the spice must flow” and started referring to the gravy as “Arrakis Gold.”
8. The Great Resignation: Why was the kitchen empty? Because the teenagers officially “quit” their dishwashing jobs in search of better “work-life balance” and more competitive “gravy benefits.”
9. Olivia Rodrigo’s “Drivers License”: Why was the niece crying in the driveway? She wasn’t sad about a breakup—she just finally got her license and realized she had to drive all the senior relatives home after they fell asleep.
10. Spider-Man: No Way Home (Hype): Why were there three different “Grandpas” at the table? Because the “multiverse” opened up, and now we had to feed the 1990 version, the 2005 version, and the current version of the same relative.

The Full 2021 Archive (Highlights)

11. Ted Lasso: Why was the atmosphere so suspiciously positive? Because everyone was trying to be “Goldfish” and forget the disasters of 2020 while believing that the turkey “believed” in itself.
12. The Friends Reunion: Why was the 2021 dinner so nostalgic? Because we all sat on the sofa for two hours watching people we haven’t seen in 20 years talk about a fountain.
13. Bennifer 2.0: Why were the aunts so gossipy? Because Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got back together, proving that 2004 wasn’t just a fever dream—it was a prophecy.
14. The TikTok Pasta (Feta Bake): Why was there a global shortage of feta cheese? Because every person at the table saw that one TikTok video and decided that “baked cheese and tomatoes” was now a traditional Thanksgiving side.
15. Succession (Season 3): Why was the family argument so Shakespearean? Because everyone was acting like they were fighting for control of a global media empire instead of just the last bit of dark meat.
16. The iPhone 13 Cinematic Mode: Why was the family video so “blurry”? Because Dad kept trying to “shift the focus” from the turkey to the dog, making the whole holiday look like a low-budget indie movie.
17. Dogecoin to the Moon: Why was the cousin crying into his phone? Because Elon Musk went on SNL, and the cousin’s “retirement fund” (which was 100% dog-themed coins) turned into “spilled-gravy” value.
18. The “Couch Guy” TikTok: Why was everyone filming the nephew when he walked in? Because the internet made us all paranoid that every boyfriend was secretly “unimpressed” to see his girlfriend.
19. Vaccine Passports: Why was the seating chart so technical? Because “Entry to the Dining Room” required a QR code scan and a 15-minute debate about which booster Mom had.
20. Cruella: Why was the aunt wearing a black-and-white wig and looking fabulous? Because Emma Stone made “rebellious fashion” the only way to show up to a family dinner.
21. The “Anakin and Padme” Meme: Why was the conversation so repetitive? “I’m going to make the best turkey ever.” “For the whole family, right?” “…For the whole family, right?!”
22. Britney Spears is Free: Why were we all toasted to “Justice”? Because the #FreeBritney movement won, and we could finally listen to “Toxic” without feeling a deep sense of legal dread.
23. The “Berries and Cream” Guy: Why was the nephew doing a weird dance in the corner? Because a 2007 Starburst commercial became the biggest meme of the year, and “Little Lad” energy was everywhere.
24. Mare of Easttown: Why was Mom drinking a “Rolling Rock” and acting like a detective? Because she was convinced that someone in the house “murdered” the pumpkin pie, and she was the only one who could solve the case.
25. The Nintendo Switch OLED: Why were the kids’ screens so “vibrant”? Because they got the new model, and the turkey grease on the glass looked 50% more colorful than on the old version.
26. Space Jam: A New Legacy: Why was the dinner full of “IP”? Because LeBron James and Bugs Bunny teamed up, and the family meal felt like it was sponsored by 500 different movie franchises.
27. The Billionaire Space Race: Why was Dad building a rocket out of soda cans? Because Bezos and Branson went to space, and Dad was convinced he could reach the “edge of the atmosphere” if he used enough baking soda and vinegar.
28. Red (Taylor’s Version): Why was the 10-minute version of “All Too Well” playing on a loop? Because we were all “remembering it all too well” and the niece wouldn’t let us turn it off until she finished her scarf.
29. The “Bones or No Bones” Pug: Why was everyone checking the dog’s mood? Because Noodle the Pug decided if it was a “Bones Day” (treat yourself) or a “No Bones Day” (stay in bed), and apparently, Thanksgiving was a “No Bones” zone.
30. No Time to Die: Why was the dinner so delayed? Because after being pushed back for two years, the movie finally came out, and we were all just glad the “No Time to Eat” era was over.
31. The “Mamma Mia” TikTok Trend: Why was the whole family singing ABBA in the kitchen? Because the “Slipping Through My Fingers” filter made everyone realize their kids were growing up too fast (or they just liked the harmony).
32. Yellowstone: Why was the uncle wearing a cowboy hat and acting like he owned a ranch in Montana? Because the show was the #1 thing on TV, and he was ready to “take someone to the train station” over the last roll.
33. The “Milk Crate Challenge”: Why were the kids stacking the empty soda crates in the yard? Because 2021 was the year of “extreme balance,” and we were one fall away from a very awkward ER visit.
34. Encanto (Hype): Why were we “not talking about Bruno”? Because the trailer dropped, and we knew that by next month, that song would be the only thing we’d ever hear again.
35. The “Sea Shanty” Craze: Why was the carving of the turkey accompanied by a rhythmic group song? Because Nathan Evans made “The Wellerman” a global hit, and we were all waiting for the “sugar and tea and rum.”