35 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2005 “YouTube & Sofa-Jumping” Edition

In 2005, Thanksgiving was about sharing your first viral video, wondering why Tom Cruise was jumping on Oprah’s couch, and realizing that a “Nano” was much cooler than a “Mini.”

The 2005 Top 10: “Oprah’s Couch & Office Rumors”

1. The Birth of YouTube: Why was the 2005 dinner so dangerous? Because it was the first year you could film Dad falling asleep in his plate and upload it to a new site called “YouTube” for the whole world to see.
2. Tom Cruise vs. Oprah’s Couch: Why was Uncle Jim jumping on the sofa after dessert? Because he “really, really loves” the pumpkin pie, and he’s channeling his inner Tom Cruise to prove it.
3. The iPod Nano: Why did the teenager lose his music? Because Steve Jobs made a computer so thin it fit in his “coin pocket,” and it accidentally got mixed in with the cranberry sauce.
4. The Office (US): Why was the dinner so awkward? Because everyone started looking at the invisible “documentary camera” and shrugging every time Grandpa made a bad joke, just like Jim Halpert.
5. Star Wars: Episode III: Why was the kitchen so dramatic? Because Dad held the carving knife and shouted, “You were the chosen one! You were supposed to bring balance to the meal, not leave it in dryness!”
6. Wedding Crashers: Why were there two random guys at the table? Because after the movie became a hit, nobody questioned “Uncle John’s friends from out of town” as long as they brought their own wine.
7. The Xbox 360 Launch: Why was the living room vibrating? Because the new console launched two days before Thanksgiving, and the sound of Call of Duty 2 was the only “grace” being said.
8. Batman Begins: Why was the basement so dark? Because Christian Bale made being “the night” cool, and the kids refused to turn on the lights until the “Joker” (the cat) was captured.
9. Brokeback Mountain: What was the most sensitive topic at the table? Not politics, but the realization that everyone was “quitting” the turkey because they just couldn’t “quit” the mashed potatoes.
10. King Kong: Why was the centerpiece so massive? Because Peter Jackson’s remake was three hours long, and Mom felt the table decor needed to be equally oversized and slightly hairy.

The Full 2005 Archive (Highlights)

11. How I Met Your Mother: Why did the story of the turkey take four hours? Because like Ted Mosby, Dad had to explain every single person he dated before he finally got to the part where he bought the bird.
12. The Chronicles of Narnia: Why were the kids hiding in the coat closet? Because they were looking for a magical land where the gravy flows like a river and the White Witch is just an aunt who forgot to bring dessert.
13. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Why was the gravy boat so dangerous? Because the kids were convinced it was a “Portkey” that would transport them directly to the Black Friday sales at the mall.
14. Mariah Carey’s Comeback: Why was the kitchen so “Emancipated”? Because The Emancipation of Mimi was the #1 album, and Mom was hitting high notes that only the dog could hear.
15. The Guitar Hero Launch: Why was the nephew “shredding” with a plastic toy? Because the game just came out, and he was convinced that “More Than a Feeling” was more important than more stuffing.
16. Grey’s Anatomy: Why was the carving so surgical? Because the show was a hit, and Mom kept calling for “10ccs of gravy, STAT!” while checking the turkey’s vitals.
17. The Motorola RAZR (Black/Pink): Why was everyone “snapping” their phones? Because the RAZR was still the peak of fashion, and if you didn’t have the V3, you were basically living in the 1900s.
18. Madagascar: Why was the salad “moving”? Because the kids were singing “I Like to Move It, Move It” and shaking the bowl until the cherry tomatoes escaped.
19. Mr. & Mrs. Smith: Why was the carving session so intense? Because Brangelina was born, and Mom and Dad were acting like international assassins who happened to be married and fighting over the wishbone.
20. The “My Name Is Earl” Vibe: Why did the uncle have a long list? Because he was trying to make up for all the “bad things” he did to his siblings in the 90s in exchange for a piece of pie.
21. The Google Maps Launch: Why didn’t we get lost? Because for the first time, we didn’t need a printed MapQuest—we had a “scrolling map” on the screen that felt like witchcraft.
22. Walk the Line: Why was Grandpa talking in a deep, gravelly voice? Because Joaquin Phoenix inspired him to “Walk the Line” straight to the liquor cabinet.
23. The Colbert Report: Why was the dinner so “truthy”? Because Stephen Colbert taught us that facts don’t matter as long as your “gut” tells you that you deserve a third helping of dessert.
24. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Why was the dessert table so weird? Because Tim Burton’s remake made everyone feel like the fudge should be served by a tiny man in a red suit.
25. The 40-Year-Old Virgin: Why was the uncle so nervous? Because after the movie, everyone was asking him “how he liked his eggs,” and he was terrified of giving the wrong answer.
26. Kanye West’s “Gold Digger”: Why was the mood so upbeat? Because Jamie Foxx and Kanye were on every radio, and Grandma was “not messin’ with no broke” gravy.
27. The PSP (PlayStation Portable): Why was the teen boy staring at a glowing brick? Because he had a screen in his hand that was wider than his future, and he was playing Grand Theft Auto in church.
28. War of the Worlds: Why did everyone freeze when the tripod-shaped gravy boat touched the table? Because we were all waiting for the “BRRRRUUUUUM” sound to signify the alien invasion.
29. The Facebook (High Schools): Why was the younger sister so excited? Because “TheFacebook” just expanded to high schools, and she was finally “Verified” as the most popular person in 10th grade.
30. Green Day’s “Wake Me Up When September Ends”: Why was the mood so moody? Because the song was a hit, and the teenager refused to come out of his room until at least October (or until the rolls were ready).
31. The Million Dollar Home Run: Why was the sports talk so technical? Because everyone was arguing about “Steroids” in baseball, but nobody wanted to admit that the turkey was definitely on “performance-enhancing” butter.
32. Supernatural: Why was the brother checking for salt circles? Because the show premiered, and he was convinced the “Yellow-Eyed Demon” was the reason the cranberry sauce was canned.
33. Crash: Why was the dinner so “deep”? Because the movie won the Oscar, and everyone spent the meal trying to find a “connection” with people they’ve lived with for 20 years.
34. The iPod Shuffle (1st Gen): Why was the aunt wearing a white lanyard around her neck? Because she had the “screenless” iPod that looked like a USB stick and she had no idea what song was coming next.
35. The Final 2005 Vibe: Why was it the start of a new era? Because we were finally “Broadcast Yourself-ing” our lives, even if our “broadcast” was just a 30-second clip of a sleeping grandpa.