36 Miscellaneous Jokes: The 2001 “Odyssey & Orks” Edition

The year 2001 felt like the true start of the future, even if that future mostly involved waiting for our 5GB iPods to sync over FireWire. It was the year we all decided that walking to a volcano to throw away a ring was the most compelling story ever told, and we learned that ogres have layers, just like onions. While Apple was busy putting “1,000 songs in your pocket,” Microsoft was giving us Windows XP and that green hill wallpaper that would haunt our office monitors for the next decade.

The 2001 Top 10: The “iPod & Fellowship” Classics

1. The Launch of the iPod: Why did we need 5 gigabytes in our pocket? Because Steve Jobs decided that carrying a binder of CDs was “so 2000,” and he wanted us to be able to scroll through our entire music library using a mechanical wheel that clicked like a safe.
2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Why did every kid want a wooden stick? Because the boy who lived finally hit the big screen, and we all spent the rest of the year waiting for an owl that was clearly lost in transit.
3. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: Why was everyone suddenly an expert on Elvish? Karena Peter Jackson proved that 3 hours of people walking through New Zealand was the most epic thing we’d ever seen—and that we were ready to do it twice more.
4. The Launch of Wikipedia: Why did teachers start panicking? Because a website launched where anyone could edit anything, and suddenly, the “Encyclopedia Britannica” became a very expensive paperweight.
5. Shrek: Why were we singing Smash Mouth again? Because DreamWorks realized that a grumpy ogre and a talking donkey were the perfect antidote to the “perfect” Disney princess formula.
6. Windows XP Launch: Why was the hill so green? Because Microsoft gave us an OS that actually worked (mostly), and we all spent the next 13 years staring at “Bliss” while waiting for our Outlook to open.
7. The Launch of the Xbox: Why was the controller so huge? Because Microsoft entered the console war with the “Duke”—a controller so massive it could double as a home defense weapon if you ran out of ammo in Halo.
8. Grand Theft Auto III: Why did the world go 3D? Because Rockstar decided that looking at cars from the top-down was boring, and that we’d much rather spend our time driving into fountains in a fully realized Liberty City.
9. The Launch of iTunes: Why were we “ripping, mixing, and burning”? Because Apple gave us a jukebox for our Macs, unaware that it would eventually become the most complicated piece of software ever designed to update your phone.
10. The First “Ocean’s Eleven”: Why did we want to rob a vault? Because George Clooney and Brad Pitt made being a professional thief look like the most stylish and well-coordinated career choice of the decade.

The Full 2001 Miscellaneous Jokes Archive

11. Monsters, Inc.: Why were we cheering for the boogeyman? Because Pixar showed us that scaring kids is just a 9-to-5 job and that laughter is a much more efficient renewable energy source than screams.
12. The Nintendo GameCube: Why did it have a handle? Because Nintendo wanted you to be able to carry your purple lunchbox-sized console to a friend’s house to play Super Smash Bros. Melee until 4 AM.
13. Zoolander: Why was there more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking? Because Ben Stiller taught us that “Blue Steel” is a state of mind and that gasoline fights are a bad idea.
14. The Launch of BitTorrent: Why was the internet getting faster? Because Bram Cohen created a way to download files from everyone at once, making the “wait 3 days for a movie” experience slightly more efficient.
15. Bridget Jones’s Diary: Why were we all relateable? Because Renee Zellweger proved that being single, drinking wine, and wearing “granny pants” was a global mood for 2001.
16. Halo: Combat Evolved: Why was the ring so big? Because Bungie gave us a green super-soldier and a blue AI, and suddenly, every other first-person shooter felt like it was stuck in the 90s.
17. Gorillaz (Debut Album): Why was the band invisible? Because Damon Albarn decided that animated characters were better at being rock stars than actual humans, and “Clint Eastwood” became the coolest song of the year.
18. The Mir Space Station Re-entry: Why were we looking at the ocean? Because the 15-year-old Russian station finally took a dive into the Pacific, officially ending the “old school” era of space living.
19. Black Hawk Down: Why was the theater so loud? Because Ridley Scott made a war movie that felt like a two-hour panic attack, setting the bar for “gritty realism” for the rest of the 2000s.
20. The Game Boy Advance: Why was it horizontal? Because Nintendo finally realized our hands aren’t shaped like bricks, giving us 32-bit power in a device that didn’t require a backpack to carry.
21. Legally Blonde: Why was the court room pink? Because Elle Woods showed us that “bend and snap” works every time and that you should never underestimate someone with a law degree and a Chihuahua.
22. The Segway Reveal: Why was it called “Ginger”? Because the hype was so big we thought it would change the layout of cities—only for it to become the favorite vehicle of mall security and tourists.
23. Alicia Keys’ “Songs in A Minor”: Why was everyone playing the piano? Because “Fallin'” was the anthem of the year, proving that soul music was back and it didn’t need a techno remix.
24. The Fast and the Furious: Why were we shifting 18 times? Because Vin Diesel and Paul Walker taught us that “living life a quarter mile at a time” involves a lot of neon lights and a suspicious amount of nitrous oxide.
25. The Launch of Mac OS X (Cheetah): Why was the dock so shiny? Because Apple moved to a Unix base with “Aqua” buttons that looked so good, Steve Jobs said you “wanted to lick them.”
26. Daft Punk’s “Discovery”: Why were they wearing helmets? Because the French duo decided that being robots was the best way to release an album that would define electronic music for the next 20 years.
27. The Princess Diaries: Why did we want to be royalty? Because Anne Hathaway went from “invisible teen” to “Queen of Genovia” thanks to a hairbrush and some glasses removal.
28. Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius: Why was his hair so tall? Because Nickelodeon wanted to show off their 3D animation skills, and we all secretly wanted a robotic dog named Goddard.
29. The Launch of XM Satellite Radio: Why were we paying for radio? Because the 2001 dream was to drive from New York to LA without ever losing your favorite 80s pop station.
30. Spirited Away (Japan Release): Why were the parents pigs? Because Hayao Miyazaki created a masterpiece so beautiful and weird that it finally made the whole world pay attention to Studio Ghibli.
31. Devil May Cry: Why was the sword so big? Because Capcom decided that “cool” meant white hair, red coats, and juggling demons in the air with dual pistols.
32. The “Great American Scream Machine” (Roller Coasters): Why were we upside down? Because 2001 was the peak of the “Coaster Wars,” where every theme park was trying to build something that would make you lose your lunch faster than the competition.
33. A Beautiful Mind: Why were there numbers on the windows? Because Russell Crowe showed us that being a genius is exhausting, especially when your imaginary friends are as convincing as Paul Bettany.
34. The Blue Screen of Death (XP Edition): Why was it still there? Because no matter how much “NT Technology” Microsoft used, they knew we’d miss the comfort of a frozen computer at least once a month.
35. The Rise of “EMO”: Why was the fringe so long? Because 2001 was the year that “emotional hardcore” started trickling into the mainstream, and we all started shopping at Hot Topic.
36. New Year’s Eve 2001: Why was the party more subdued? Because after a year that actually changed the world, we were all just happy to be at home, listening to our 5GB iPods and wondering if the 21st century was always going to be this loud.