34 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2020 “Zoom & Tiger King” Edition

In 2020, Thanksgiving was about checking your Wi-Fi signal, staying 6 feet away from the gravy, and realizing that “You’re on mute” was the official slogan of the year.

The 2020 Top 10: “Quarantine & Joe Exotic”

1. The Zoom Thanksgiving: Why was the 2020 dinner so pixelated? Because the whole family was “together,” but half of them were frozen in mid-chew and the other half spent the meal asking, “Can you hear me now?”
2. Tiger King: Why was the centerpiece so wild? Because after March, we all became obsessed with Joe Exotic, and Dad was convinced that Carole Baskin was the one who actually “killed” the turkey and hid it in the freezer.
3. The Great Toilet Paper Shortage: Why were the napkins so fancy? They weren’t—Mom was just flexing her wealth by using actual two-ply toilet paper as place settings to show the neighbors we survived the “Great Shortage.”
4. “You’re on Mute”: Why did Grandpa’s toast last 20 minutes with no sound? Because he was muted the whole time, and by the time he figured it out, the turkey was cold and the meeting had “timed out.”
5. Among Us: Why was everyone so suspicious of Uncle Jim? Because the game was a global hit, and we were all convinced he was the “Imposter” who “vented” into the kitchen to steal the last piece of pie.
6. Sourdough Starters: Why were the rolls so… experimental? Because everyone spent six months treating a jar of fermented flour like a pet, and now we were all legally required to eat the “crusty results” for the sake of the hobby.
7. The PS5 & Xbox Series X Launch: Why was the basement a ghost town? Because the new consoles launched in a global shortage, and the cousins were too busy refreshing retail websites to see if they could “add to cart” than eating dinner.
8. Animal Crossing: New Horizons: Why was the niece so “busy”? She wasn’t ignoring the family—she was just hosting her own Thanksgiving on a virtual island where the “villagers” actually appreciated her decorating skills.
9. The Monoliths: Why was there a weird metal slab in the backyard? Because 2012 was weird, but 2020 was “random-metal-pillars-appearing-in-deserts” weird, and Dad thought it was a sign from aliens (or just the HOA).
10. The “Karen” Era: Why was the manager called to the kitchen? Because Aunt Susan didn’t like the “mask requirements” for the buffet line and wanted to speak to the head of the household immediately.

The Full 2020 Archive (Highlights)

11. WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion): Why was the kitchen floor so clean? Because the song was everywhere, and Mom interpreted “Macaroni in a pot” as a direct instruction for the side dishes.
12. The Queen’s Gambit: Why was everyone playing chess at the table? Because Anya Taylor-Joy made “looking at the ceiling and moving invisible pieces” the coolest way to pass the time between courses.
13. Tenet: Why did we eat the pie before the turkey? Because Christopher Nolan’s movie was so confusing we were all living in “inverted time” and weren’t sure if we were arriving or leaving.
14. The Last Dance: Why was Dad so competitive about the wishbone? Because he watched the Michael Jordan documentary and “took it personally” that his brother-in-law thought he could win.
15. Quarantine Hair: Why did the family photo look like a 70s rock band? Because the barbershops were closed for months, and everyone arrived at the Zoom call with a “DIY mullet” or a “accidental buzzcut.”
16. The Murder Hornets: Why was everyone wearing bee-suits in the yard? Because 2020 decided that a global pandemic wasn’t enough and tried to introduce “giant, stinging insects” into the plot.
17. The “Fly on Mike Pence’s Head”: Why was there a fly on the turkey? “It’s not a bug, it’s a political statement!” (Actually, it was just a fly, but it was the most famous insect of 2020).
18. Disney’s Mulan (Premier Access): Why did the movie cost $30? Because Disney decided that watching a movie on your own couch was a “premium experience” that required the price of five real movie tickets.
19. The iPhone 12 (No Charger): Why was Dad so mad at the box? Because Apple removed the power brick “for the environment,” and now he had a $1,000 phone and no way to charge it for the holiday.
20. Dolly Parton’s Vaccine Funding: Why did we toast to Dolly? Because she funded the Moderna vaccine and officially became the Patron Saint of 2020 (and every year after).
21. The “Bernie Sanders Mitten” (Hype): Why was the uncle sitting in a folding chair with wool mittens? Because he was “meme-ready” and wanted to look as grumpy and cozy as a Vermont senator.
22. Ratatouille: The TikTok Musical: Why were the kids singing about rodents? Because “User-Generated Content” turned a Pixar movie into a Broadway show, and the kitchen was the stage.
23. The “Everything is Cake” Trend: Why was Dad stabbing the remote with a knife? Because the internet convinced him that literally anything—a shoe, a plant, or a remote—could secretly be a hyper-realistic cake.
24. Cobra Kai: Why were the cousins doing “Crane Kicks” in the hallway? Because the show moved to Netflix and everyone suddenly remembered that “Mercy is for the weak” (especially when it comes to the last roll).
25. The Nintendo Mario 35th Anniversary: Why were we playing 8-bit games? Because nostalgia was the only thing keeping us sane, and 3D All-Stars was the only “vacation” we could afford.
26. Schitt’s Creek (The Emmy Sweep): Why was the family acting so “fancy” while living in sweatpants? Because the Roses taught us that “folding in the cheese” is a complicated but beautiful life lesson.
27. The SpaceX Crew Dragon Launch: Why was the dinner “historic”? Because for the first time, a private company sent humans to space, and Dad felt that “launching” the turkey from the oven was a similar achievement.
28. Hades (The Game): Why was the nephew talking about escaping the underworld? He wasn’t talking about his basement; he was just trying to win a “run” while the gravy got lumpy.
29. The “Dreams” Skateboarder (Ocean Spray): Why was the uncle on a skateboard drinking cranberry juice? Because Nathan Apodaca made 2020 feel “chill” for exactly 15 seconds, and we all needed that vibe.
30. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Why was the dinner “Very Nice!”? Because Sacha Baron Cohen returned to remind us that “Jagshemash!” is still the only way to greet a turkey.
31. The Mandolorian Season 2: Why were we all shouting “Grogu!”? Because we finally learned Baby Yoda’s real name, and it was the only piece of good news we got all November.
32. The “Doge” Coin Hype (Beginning): Why was the “crypto” cousin talking about “To the Moon”? Because a dog-themed coin was starting to go up, and he tried to pay for his flight home with “memes.”
33. Peloton (The Surge): Why was the living room full of exercise equipment? Because we couldn’t go to the gym, so we brought a high-energy instructor into our house to yell at us while we ate pie.
34. Hamilton on Disney+: Why did we know every word to 18th-century history? Because we watched the recording 50 times in July and now we “Will not throw away our (gravy) shot!”