So he could tell everyone that he walks 5 miles every single day. It’s a clever way to sound much more active than he really is.
🔥 Top 10: The Dad Joke Archive (1995-2025)
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.read more »
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.read more »
Q: Where do penguins keep their...
Q: Where do penguins keep their money?
A: In a snowbank!read more »
54 Essential Dad Jokes: The 1997 "Titanic" Edition
Welcome to 1997. If you weren't busy trying to keep your Tamagotc...read more »
43 Original Dad Jokes: The 2019 "Old Town Road" Edition
In 2019, the world was taking its horse to the "Old Town Road" un...read more »
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.read more »
Kid: I’m cold. Dad: Then go...
Kid: I’m cold.
Dad: Then go sit in the corner—it’s 90 degrees!read more »
Kid: What time is it? Dad:...
Kid: What time is it?
Dad: Time to get a watch!read more »
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.read more »
Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.read more »
😜 More from category: The Dad Joke Archive (1995-2025)
52 Original Dad Jokes: The 2016 "Gotta Catch 'Em All" Edition
In 2016, the world moved outside—but everyone was still looking a...read more »
Why Did The Tomato Blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.read more »
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.read more »
Kid: Ow, I hurt my foot!...
Kid: Ow, I hurt my foot!
Dad: Well, what’d you do that for?read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
Uh-oh! Adding this to my status message right now.
/join #jokes... this one is the best so far.
Life... uh... finds a way to be funny.
Downloading laughs at 3kb/s. Great stuff!
Optimized for 800x600 resolution! Looks great!
does this work with beer too? asking for a friend. hahaha.
my bestie is going to kill me when she sees this in our group chat.
haha good one! why do we make life so complicated? love the simplicity here.
haha, the logic is flawless in its own way.
my uncle told a version of this at a wedding once. everyone lost it.