A guy walks in with a raccoon and a small potted plant. The bartender says, “No pets.” The guy says, “He’s not a pet, he’s an assassin, and the plant is the DJ. We’re here for the ‘Awesome Mix’!”
Part of the 56 Bar Jokes: The 2014 “Ice Bucket Challenge & World Cup” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
The C, Eb, and G
Music theory humor for the harmoniously inclined.C, Eb, and G wal...read more »
2024 Archive: The Nosferatu
A guy walks in and says, "I'm waiting for the dark." The bartend...read more »
37 Celebrity Jokes: The 2006 “Very Nice!” Edition
In 2006, we were all trying to sound like a Kazakh journalist, le...read more »
51 Bar Jokes: The 2017 “Fidget Spinner & Bitcoin Boom” Edition
In 2017, the bar was divided into two groups: people trying to ex...read more »
2024 Legacy: The Whiskey Sour
"As sour as the Olympics breakdancing discourse."Part of the 58 ...read more »
The Giraffe Problem
Tall tales from the savanna to the tavern.A giraffe walks into a ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Lab-Grown Lager
"It’s perfect!" "It’s too perfect. I want a beer that has a mist...read more »
58 Bar Jokes: The 2024 “Eclipse, Olympics & AI Overload” Edition
In 2024, the bar became a sanctuary from a world that felt increa...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Smart Stool
The stool moves to the left because it detected a "more interest...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Vertical Farm Garnish
"This mint was grown three feet from your head."Part of the 30 B...read more »
😜 More from category: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
The Mushroom Character
Why fungi are always the life of the party.A mushroom walks into ...read more »
2024 Classic: The Moana 2
"I am Moana of Motunui!" "And I am Greg of the Night Shift. Orde...read more »
2025 Archive: The Last Manual Bartender
"I'm the last one who knows how to crack an egg for a sour." "Yo...read more »
The Three-Inch Man
A tiny visitor with a very large piano.A guy walks into a bar and...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
I should make a stickman movie about this.
Top tier humor for our local community. Keep it up!
Totally gnarly humor, dude!
Dee Dee! Get out of my laboratory! I’m reading!
Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats! HO! (Funny!)
Don’t you forget about me... or this joke.
It’s peanut butter jelly time! Where he at?
Thanks for the donation and the joke!