The coffee is cold, the copier is jammed, and the boss is “at a lunch meeting” until 4:00 PM.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go. (Wait, that’s 20 years too early—1990 version: Why can’t you give Vanilla Ice a balloon? Because he’ll drop it like a beat).
My slap bracelet is currently my only personality trait.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To body-pop.
My Walkman is great until the batteries start dying and Kurt Cobain starts sounding like he’s singing underwater.
What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug.
What do you call a man without a spade on his head? Douglas.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
My mullet is a business in the front, party in the back, and a lawsuit in the mirrors.
Part of the 61 Observational One-Liners: The 1990 Reality Patch archive. Historically Verified