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Home » The Christmas Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2013 Vintage: Candy Crush (Still)

2013 Vintage: Candy Crush (Still)

 Why was the church service so quiet? Because everyone was “Sugar Crushing” their way through Level 342 under the pews.

Part of the 34 Christmas Jokes: The 2013 “Frozen & Wrecking Balls” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Christmas Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Classic: Superman (The Movie)
 Why is the holiday so "heroic"? Because James Gunn’s new Superma...read more »
2013 Joke: A Little Boy Wrote
A little boy wrote to Santa: “Dear Santa, this year please send m...read more »
2024 Legacy: Civil War (The Movie)
 Why was the family argument so intense? Because Alex Garland mad...read more »
2024 Archive: Joker
Folie à Deux: Why was the caroling so depressing? Because the seq...read more »
34 Christmas Jokes: The 1998 “Furby & Dial-Up Dreams” Edition
In 1998, Christmas felt like living in a sci-fi movie. We were al...read more »
2025 Classic: The Final 2025 Vibe
 Why was everyone so "Optimized"? Because the AI did the shopping...read more »
2025 Legacy: Beyond the Spider-Verse
 Why are there three versions of the same gift? Because the trilo...read more »
34 Christmas Jokes: The 2006 “Wii-motes & High School Musical” Edition
In 2006, Christmas was a hazard to your living room furniture. We...read more »
41 Christmas Jokes: The 1995 “Tinsel & VHS Tapes” Edition
In 1995, Christmas was a battle between the old world and the dig...read more »
2025 Classic: The "Mars One" Update
 Why are we watching a red screen? Because the first colonists on...read more »

😜 More from category: The Christmas Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Vintage: The "Great Robot Dog" Walk
 Why are there so many mechanical barks in the park? Because 2025...read more »
2009 Joke: I Asked My Wife
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “No...read more »
2024 Vintage: Longlegs
 Why was the atmosphere so creepy? Because Nicolas Cage made the ...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Retrotech" Boom
 Why did the kids ask for a "Paper Book"? Because in 2025, holdin...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Msdos_Commander03/11/2013 11:47C:>RUN JOKE.EXE... Results: HIGHLY FUNNY.
@Duke_Nukem_Fan07/11/2007 10:57I came here to kick ass and read jokes... and I’m all out of gum.
@Toy_Story_Woody06/15/2014 18:58There is a joke in my boot!
@Badger_Badger_M07/13/2001 17:32Badger badger badger... mushroom! Hilarious!
@Salt_Bae_Original09/11/2003 07:49Sprinkling some humor on this archive.

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