2016 Legacy: The Retainer Fee
Why did the lawyer call it a “Pokémon Retainer”? Because just like a Magikarp, it does nothing until you put enough money into it. Part… Read More »2016 Legacy: The Retainer Fee
2015 Vintage: The “Night Vision” White Phosphor
Why the switch from green? Because seeing the war in “Black and White” makes it feel more like a movie and less like a headache.… Read More »2015 Vintage: The “Night Vision” White Phosphor
2015 Legacy: The MacBook “One Port” Nightmare
Why was the salesman crying? He had the new 12-inch MacBook and realized he couldn’t charge his computer and use a mouse at the same… Read More »2015 Legacy: The MacBook “One Port” Nightmare
2015 Legacy: The Laser Pointer Ban Upgrade
The school board updating the student handbook to state that anyone caught projecting a red dot onto the chalkboard during an exam would face instant… Read More »2015 Legacy: The Laser Pointer Ban Upgrade
2015 Legacy: The Ghost
“I liked the old bulb. It flickered in a very ‘Victorian era’ way.” Part of the 62 Light Bulb Jokes: 2015 – The Hotline Bling… Read More »2015 Legacy: The Ghost
2014 Archive: The Monkey
I’m “swinging” by the app store. Part of the 111 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Ice Bucket & Interstellar Edition (2014) archive. Historically Verified
2013 Classic: The Flat Design
Why did all the icons look like stickers? Because Apple killed the “glossy” look and now everything looks like a colorful paper cutout. Part of… Read More »2013 Classic: The Flat Design
2013 Archive: Outstanding Comedy
Why Modern Family? For making being dysfunctional look like the most profitable career path in California. Part of the 38 Emmy Awards Jokes: The 2013… Read More »2013 Archive: Outstanding Comedy
2012 Legacy: Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance
Why “White Limo”? Because the music video featured Lemmy from Motörhead, and that’s an automatic win in the eyes of the gods of rock. Part… Read More »2012 Legacy: Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance
2011 Archive: Operation Neptune Spear
Why was 2011 the year of the “Stealth Hawk”? Because the world learned that the U.S. has silent helicopters that don’t exist, until you accidentally… Read More »2011 Archive: Operation Neptune Spear