2012 Archive: Worst Supporting Actor
Why Taylor Lautner? For spending five movies acting with his abs instead of his face. Part of the 35 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2012 “Twilight’s… Read More »2012 Archive: Worst Supporting Actor
2012 Archive: Worst Screen Couple
Why Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner? For the “imprinting” scene, which remains the weirdest thing ever committed to film. Part of the 35 Razzie Awards… Read More »2012 Archive: Worst Screen Couple
2012 Legacy: The Last Word
Why did the lawyer cross the road? Because the chicken’s “End of the World” party was an illegal gathering. Part of the 52 Lawyer Jokes:… Read More »2012 Legacy: The Last Word
2011 Legacy: The F-35 “Initial Production” (Again)
Why was the F-35 still in the news? Because in 2011, it cost more than the gold it would take to build a 1:1 scale… Read More »2011 Legacy: The F-35 “Initial Production” (Again)
2010 Legacy: The G20 Summit in Toronto
Why was there so much smoke? Because police and protesters turned downtown into a war zone, proving that “global governance” looks much better on paper… Read More »2010 Legacy: The G20 Summit in Toronto
2009 Legacy: The Dwayne
Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Dwayne. / Dwayne who? / Dwayne the bathtub, it’s 2009! Part of the 43 Classic Knock-Knock Jokes: The 2009… Read More »2009 Legacy: The Dwayne
2009 Vintage: Worst Supporting Actor
Why Billy Ray Cyrus for Hannah Montana: The Movie? For proving that “achy breaky hearts” apply to movie critics too. Part of the 38 Razzie Awards… Read More »2009 Vintage: Worst Supporting Actor
2008 Archive: The Laptop
I’m “folding” under the weight of my student loans. Part of the 188 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Stark & Dark Knight Edition (2008) archive. Historically… Read More »2008 Archive: The Laptop
2008 Archive: The Escape
I’m “fleeing” from the bill collectors. Part of the 188 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Stark & Dark Knight Edition (2008) archive. Historically Verified
2006 Classic: The Liquid Ban
Why was the traveler crying at security? Because he had to choose between drinking his entire bottle of expensive French wine in 30 seconds or… Read More »2006 Classic: The Liquid Ban