69 Light Bulb Jokes: 2006 – The Wii-mote Swing

In 2006, the world was shifting gears. Twitter (now X) launched with its first 140-character “tweet,” Disney’s High School Musical became a cultural phenomenon, and Nintendo released the Wii, making everyone accidentally throw their controllers at their TV screens. It was the year of The Departed, the rise of “Step Up,” and the peak of the “Crashing the Wedding” humor. The jokes of 2006 are energetic, slightly chaotic, and obsessed with “Get’cha head in the game.”

The 2006 Top 10: Motion-Controlled Illumination

1. The Wii Owner: One, but they accidentally throw the bulb through the window because they forgot to wear the wrist strap.
2. The High School Musical Fan: The whole cast. They can’t change it until they’ve finished a 4-minute choreographed dance number about “being all in this together.”
3. The Early Twitter User: One. “I am changing a light bulb. #dark #ladder #blessed” (132 characters left).
4. The Borat Fan: “This bulb is black… NOT! It is very nice!”
5. The Jack Sparrow (Dead Man’s Chest): “I’ve got a jar of dirt! …and a burnt-out bulb.”
6. The “The Departed” Cop: One, but nobody knows if he’s the one screwing it in or if he’s a mole for the darkness.
7. The Justin Timberlake (SexyBack) Fan: “I’m bringing lighty back… those other bulbs don’t know how to act.”
8. The Daniel Craig (Casino Royale) Bond: One. He doesn’t screw it in; he just stares at the socket until it lights up out of fear.
9. The “Snakes on a Plane” Fan: “I have had it with these monkey-fighting bulbs in this Monday-to-Friday socket!”
10. The Ricky Bobby: “If you ain’t first-light, you’re last-light!”

The Full 2006 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Fergie Fan: “My bulb, my bulb, my bulb… my lovely little lumps.”
12. The Shakira Fan: “Hips don’t lie… but this flickering bulb definitely does.”
13. The Gnarls Barkley Fan: “I remember… I remember when I lost my light.”
14. The Step Up Dancer: One, but they have to do a headspin on the ladder.
15. The Pan’s Labyrinth Fan: One, but the bulb is held by a pale man with eyes in his hands.
16. The Devil Wears Prada Assistant: One, but it has to be a specific shade of cerulean that isn’t even out yet.
17. The Cars (Pixar) Fan: “Ka-chow! …wait, I blew a fuse.”
18. The MySpace Celebrity: One, but they need 5,000 “friends” to comment “PC4PC” before they do it.
19. The Nintendo DS Lite Owner: One, but the bulb is 20% brighter and significantly sleeker.
20. The “The Office” Fan: One (Jim), but he just looks at a hidden camera and shrugs while the room stays dark.
21. The Fall Out Boy Fan: “This ain’t a scene, it’s a god… damn… dark room!”
22. The Beyonce (Irreplaceable) Fan: “To the left, to the left… everything you own in a box (including the spare bulbs).”
23. The Amy Winehouse Fan: “They tried to make me go to Home Depot, I said no, no, no.”
24. The Rihanna (S.O.S.) Fan: “S.O.S., please someone help me… it’s getting dark in here.”
25. The 300 Spartan: “Tonight, we dine… IN THE DARK!”
26. The Night at the Museum Security Guard: They don’t change the bulb; they just wait for the flashlight to come to life.
27. The Rocky Balboa (2006): “It ain’t about how hard you hit the bulb… it’s about how many times you can get unscrewed and keep moving forward!”
28. The Hannah Montana Fan: One, but she has a secret identity as a flashlight.
29. The Emo Kid: One, but they’ll just use the sparks from the short circuit to light their cigarette.
30. The “Little Miss Sunshine” Family: They all have to push the ladder together to get it started.
31. The Scientist: “We’ve downgraded Pluto to a dwarf planet, but we still haven’t upgraded this 40-watt.”
32. The Librarian: “Darkness is just the world’s way of saying ‘Close the book and go to sleep’.”
33. The Gym Teacher: “If you can’t reach the bulb, do 100 jumping jacks until the friction creates static electricity!”
34. The Chef: “I’ll change it, but it needs to be served on a bed of microgreens.”
35. The Optimist: “At least my electric bill is going to be lower this month!”
36. The Pessimist: “The light was just a temporary distraction from the void.”
37. The Pro-Wrestler: One, but they have to hit the bulb with a ‘Swanton Bomb’ off the ladder.
38. The Detective: “The bulb was clearly a victim of ‘foul play’… or a bad filament.”
39. The Tourist: “Is this the same socket that was here in 2005?”
40. The Reality Producer: “Can we get the old bulb to have a breakdown in the limo?”
41. The Bodybuilder: “I’m not changing the bulb, I’m just doing overhead presses with the entire house.”
42. The Sailor: “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. No light at night… someone’s getting fired.”
43. The Poet: “The dying light is a metaphor for my MySpace profile views.”
44. The Bus Driver: “Step behind the white line! I can’t see the passengers in this gloom!”
45. The Ghost: “I liked the old bulb. It had a more ‘transparent’ quality.”
46. The 2006 Legend: One, but they do it while wearing a pinstripe vest and a newsboy cap.
47. The Starbucks Fan: “I’ll have a Venti-Watt, extra hot, no foam.”
48. The America’s Next Top Model: One, but they have to ‘smize’ so hard the socket glows.
49. The Panic! At The Disco Fan: “I chime in with a ‘Haven’t you people ever heard of… closing the goddamn circuit?!'”
50. The Nelly Furtado Fan: “I’m like a bird… I only fly away when the light’s out.”
51. The Justin Timberlake Fan: “What goes around… comes around… like a screw in a socket.”
52. The Snow Patrol Fan: “If I lay here… if I just lay here… will you change the bulb for me?”
53. The Killers Fan: “Are we human… or are we light bulbs?”
54. The Red Hot Chili Peppers (Dani California) Fan: “California rest in peace… simultaneous light bulb release.”
55. The Pussycat Dolls Fan: “I don’t need a man… to change my 60-watt.”
56. The Da Vinci Code Fan: None. They’re still looking for the ‘Holy Grail’ of bulbs in the basement.
57. The Happy Feet Fan: One, but they have to tap-dance their way up the ladder.
58. The Snakes on a Plane Fan: “I want these mother-fudging bulbs off this mother-fudging ceiling!”
59. The Taylor Swift Fan (Debut): “Our song is the slamming screen door… and the sound of a bulb popping.”
60. The Ok Go Fan: Four, but they have to do it while perfectly synchronized on treadmills.
61. The T-Pain Fan: One, but the bulb has to be tuned with Auto-Tune.
62. The Soulja Boy Fan (Early): “Crank that… light bulb.”
63. The Gears of War Player: One, but they have to use a chainsaw bayonet to get the old one out.
64. The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion Player: One, but it takes 40 hours of gameplay to find the “Soul Gem” to power it.
65. The Razr V3i User: One, but the bulb has to be “Dolce & Gabbana” gold.
66. The YouTube Newbie: “Hey guys, like and subscribe for more light bulb tutorials!”
67. The High School Musical Athlete: “What team?! LIGHT BULBS!”
68. The “Click” (Movie) Fan: They don’t change it; they just fast-forward through the darkness.
69. The 2006 Trendsetter: One, but they do it while wearing shutter shades and a “Vote for Pedro” shirt they found at a thrift store.