57 Light Bulb Jokes: 2007 – The Year the World went “Touch”

In 2007, the world changed with a single “pinch to zoom.” Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone, the first Transformers movie made us look at our cars differently, and we all collectively yelled “Leave Britney Alone!” It was the year of Halo 3, the series finale of The Sopranos (which famously ended in total darkness), and the peak of the Emo movement. The humor of 2007 is sleek, viral, and heavily influenced by the birth of the smartphone era.

The 2007 Top 10: The Smart-Socket Edition

1. The iPhone User: One, but there’s no button to screw it in—you just have to swipe the glass and hope there’s an app for that.
2. The Chris Crocker Fan: “LEAVE THE LIGHT BULB ALONE! It’s going through a lot right now!”
3. The Transformers Fan: None. The bulb is actually a giant robot from space that just disguised itself as a 60-watt.
4. The Halo 3 Player: One (Master Chief), but he’s too busy finishing the fight to worry about the kitchen lights.
5. The Sopranos Fan: None. The joke just cuts to black mid-sentence and leaves you wondering—
6. The Rihanna (Umbrella) Fan: One, but you have to do it “under my umbrella-ella-ella.”
7. The Soulja Boy Fan: “Crank that light bulb! Now watch me yule, now watch me screw!”
8. The Ratatouille Chef: None. You just need a rat under your hat to pull your hair and guide your hands to the socket.
9. The Spider-Man 3 (Emo Peter) Fan: One, but they’ll just do an awkward jazz-dance down the street instead of actually fixing the light.
10. The Juno Fan: “This bulb is, like, totally preggo with darkness.”

The Full 2007 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Kanye West (Stronger) Fan: “Work it, make it, do it, makes us… brighter.”
12. The My Chemical Romance (Black Parade) Fan: “When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city… to buy a replacement bulb.”
13. The Amy Winehouse Fan: “They tried to make me go to IKEA, I said no, no, no.”
14. The No Country for Old Men Fan: “What’s the most you ever lost on a light bulb toss?”
15. The Superbad Teen: “I am McLovin… and I am in the dark!”
16. The Portal Player: The light bulb is a lie.
17. The Timbaland Fan: “The light is gone, it’s far too late to apologize… it’s too late.”
18. The Gossip Girl Fan: “Spotted: B in the dark. Did her spark go out, or is she just looking for a new flame? XOXO.”
19. The Facebook User: One, but they have to change their status to “is currently in the dark” and wait for 15 likes.
20. The Wii Fit User: One, but they have to stand on a balance board while reaching for the ceiling.
21. The Bioshock Player: “Would you kindly… screw in this light bulb?”
22. The Bee Movie Fan: “According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to change a light bulb.”
23. The Hairspray Fan: “You can’t stop the light!”
24. The 300 Spartan: “Then we shall screw it in… IN THE SHADE!”
25. The Shrek the Third Fan: “Better out than in, I always say! (Wait, I meant the bulb).”
26. The Assassin’s Creed Player: One, but they have to climb the tallest tower in the city and jump into a haystack after they’re done.
27. The I Am Legend Survivor: One, but they have to do it before the sun goes down and the monsters come out.
28. The Librarian: “This darkness is just a very long footnote.”
29. The Gym Teacher: “If you can’t see the floor, how am I supposed to see you doing push-ups?!”
30. The Chef: “I’ll change it, but it needs to be deconstructed first.”
31. The Optimist: “Perfect! Now I don’t have to see how much my stock portfolio dropped.”
32. The Pessimist: “The light just reveals how much dust we’re all turning into.”
33. The Pro-Wrestler: One, but they have to hit the old bulb with a ‘Sweet Chin Music’.
34. The Detective: “The bulb didn’t burn out… it was silenced by a power surge.”
35. The Tourist: “Is this the same socket from the original 1995 archive?”
36. The Reality Producer: “Can we make the bulb-changing feel more like an Episode of ‘Flavor of Love’?”
37. The Bodybuilder: “I’m not changing it, I’m ‘sculpting’ the shadows with my lats.”
38. The Sailor: “A dark room is just a sea with the tides turned off.”
39. The Poet: “The glass is a silent bell that no longer rings with fire.”
40. The Bus Driver: “Step behind the line! It’s dark, but I still know where you’re standing!”
41. The Ghost: “I preferred the flicker. It was more… atmospheric.”
42. The 2007 Legend: One, but they do it while wearing a keffiyeh scarf and skinny jeans.
43. The Starbucks Fan: “I’ll have a Venti-Watt, half-caf, soy-powered.”
44. The America’s Next Top Model: “One, but they have to ‘smize’ until the filament glows.”
45. The Panic! At The Disco Fan: “I chime in with a ‘Haven’t you people ever heard of… closing the goddamn circuit?!'”
46. The Avenged Sevenfold Fan: “Seize the day… and the spare bulb.”
47. The Mika Fan: “I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky… if only the light worked.”
48. The Fergie (Big Girls Don’t Cry) Fan: “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses… their nightlight.”
49. The Plain White T’s Fan: “Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in the dark city?”
50. The Alicia Keys Fan: “No one, no one, no one… can change the bulb like you.”
51. The Guitar Hero III Player: One, but they have to play “Through the Fire and Flames” on Expert to reach the socket.
52. The Call of Duty 4 Player: One, but they have to call in a UAV to find the ladder.
53. The Super Mario Galaxy Fan: One, but they have to orbit the ceiling twice before screwing it in.
54. The High School Musical 2 Fan: “What time is it? SUMMERTIME! (And also time to change the bulb).”
55. The Alvin and the Chipmunks Fan: Three. One to screw it in and two to sing in a high-pitched voice.
56. The Simpsons Movie Fan: “Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig, does whatever a Spider-Pig does… like changing bulbs?”
57. The 2007 Trendsetter: One, but they do it while wearing a Shutter Shades and listening to a Zune.