67 Light Bulb Jokes: The 2000 Y2K Survivor Files

We’ve entered the new millennium. The Y2K scare was a huge disappointment, but technology kept moving forward. It was the year everyone wanted a Nokia 3310, watched the first season of Survivor, and wondered if The Sims was a game or a second life. The Y2K lightbulb jokes are brimming with digital optimism and new millennial energy.

The 2000 Top 10: Millennium Peak

1. The Y2K Bug: None. It spent all its energy preparing for the apocalypse and forgot to actually blow the bulb.
2. The PlayStation 2 Owner: One, but the bulb is now a DVD player and has “Emotion Engine” graphics.
3. The Nokia 3310 User: None. The bulb isn’t broken, it just needs to be recharged once every three weeks.
4. The “Survivor” Contestant: One, but they have to form an alliance with the ladder and vote the old bulb off the island.
5. The Gladiator: “What we do in the darkness echoes in eternity!”
6. The Sims Player: One, but they’ll forget what they’re doing halfway through and start waving their arms because a chair is blocking the way.
7. The Eminem Fan: “I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady, all you other light bulbs are just imitating.”
8. The Tom Hanks (Cast Away) Fan: One, but they’ll name the bulb “Wilson” and talk to it for four years.
9. The “Wassup!” Guy: “Wassuuuuuuup! …Wait, it’s dark. Who turned out the lights?”
10. The X-Men Fan: One (Storm), but she just uses a lightning bolt to fry the whole house.

The Full 2000 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Britney Spears Fan: “Oops!… I changed it again. I played with your socket, got lost in the dark.”
12. The Napster Addict: One, but the RIAA will sue you for sharing the light with your neighbor.
13. The Razor Scooter Rider: One, but they’ll hit their ankle on the ladder and be out of commission for a week.
14. The Billy Elliot Fan: One, but they have to dance their way up the ladder.
15. The “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” Fan: One, but their heart grows three sizes while doing it.
16. The Linkin Park Fan: “I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end… the bulb doesn’t even matter!”
17. The Millionaire Contestant: “I’d like to use my 50/50. Is it the bulb or the fuse?”
18. The Harry Potter (Book 4) Reader: One, but it takes 700 pages to get to the socket.
19. The Early Flash Animator: One, but the bulb takes 5 minutes to buffer.
20. The Big Brother Housemate: “It’s Day 43, and the light bulb has been evicted.”
21. The Scary Movie Fan: “I know what you did last summer… you didn’t change the bulb!”
22. The Google Searcher: “Results 1-10 of 2,400,000 for ‘how to screw in a glass sphere’.”
23. The MP3 Player Owner: “I can fit 10 songs on this bulb! Technology is amazing!”
24. The Destiny’s Child Fan: “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly… or this 75-watt.”
25. The Crouching Tiger Fan: One, but they do it while flying across the ceiling.
26. The Dot-Com CEO: One, but the bulb company is currently valued at $4 billion despite having no actual light.
27. The “Malcolm in the Middle” Kid: “Life is unfair… especially when it’s dark.”
28. The Pokémon Gold/Silver Player: One, but you have to breed two bulbs to get a shiny one.
29. The Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 Player: One, but they have to grind the power lines to get enough “Special” meter.
30. The Snapple Fan: “Did you know? Light bulbs were originally made of moonbeams (Real Fact #42).”
31. The Suburban Goth: “This darkness is the only thing that understands me.”
32. The Mall Rat: “Do they sell bulbs at the Disney Store?”
33. The Skater Girl: “He was a 60-watt, she said see ya later-watt.”
34. The Scientist: “We’ve mapped the human genome, but we still haven’t found a bulb that lasts forever.”
35. The Librarian: “Shhh! I’m indexing the ‘Dark Ages’ section.”
36. The Gym Teacher: “If you can’t reach the bulb, do 50 pull-ups on the fixture!”
37. The Chef: “I’ll change it, but it needs a sprig of rosemary.”
38. The Optimist: “Now I can finally use all those candles I bought for Y2K!”
39. The Pessimist: “The light is just a temporary distraction from the inevitable void.”
40. The Pro-Wrestler: One, but they have to hit the ladder with a “Stone Cold Stunner.”
41. The Detective: “The bulb didn’t burn out. It was silenced.”
42. The Tourist: “Is this a historic 20th-century bulb or a modern 21st-century one?”
43. The Reality Producer: “Can we make the bulb-changing look more like a competition?”
44. The Bodybuilder: “I’ll screw it in, but I’m flexin’ the whole time.”
45. The Sailor: “Arrr, the lighthouse bulb is out! Someone call the Coast Guard!”
46. The Poet: “The filament’s final breath, a spark in the night…”
47. The Bus Driver: “Everyone move to the front where the dashboard light is still working!”
48. The Ghost: “I liked the old bulb. It had more ‘afterglow’.”
49. The 2000 Legend: One, but they do it while wearing a pinstriped baseball jersey and a visor.
50. The Starbucks Fan: “One Venti-Watt, extra hot, no foam.”
51. The Diablo II Player: One, but you have to click the socket 1,000 times per second.
52. The Crouching Tiger Fan: One, but they do it while standing on a bamboo leaf.
53. The Harry Potter Fan: “Accio Light Bulb!”
54. The “Cast Away” Fan: “I have created LIGHT!”
55. The American Psycho: “I need to return some light bulbs.”
56. The Shaggy Fan: “It wasn’t me… who broke the bulb.”
57. The Faith Hill Fan: “Breathe… just breathe… while I screw this in.”
58. The Bye Bye Bye Fan: “I’m doing this for me… bye bye bye, old bulb!”
59. The Gladiator: “Are you not entertained by this illumination?!”
60. The Fast & Furious Driver: “I live my life one-quarter-turn at a time.”
61. The Zoolander: “What is this? A light bulb for ants?!”
62. The “O Brother Where Art Thou” Fan: “I am a man of constant darkness.”
63. The M. Night Shyamalan Fan: One, but the twist is that the bulb was actually a candle the whole time.
64. The Baha Men Fan: “Who let the bulbs out? Who? Who? Who?”
65. The Cast of Friends: “Could this light BE any more burnt out?”
66. The Early Digital Photographer: One, but the light is very pixelated.
67. The 2000 Trendsetter: One, but they do it while listening to a CD-Walkman that actually has G-Protection.