61 Light Bulb Jokes: 2003 – The Year of the Great Blackout

In 2003, the world actually went dark during the Northeast Blackout, making light bulb jokes more relevant than ever. It was the year we all went looking for Nemo, bowed to the Return of the King, and witnessed the birth of iTunes and MySpace. From Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love” strut to the rise of the “California” cool, 2003 was a high-energy transition into the mid-2000s.

The 2003 Top 10: High-Voltage Classics

1. The Nemo Finder: None. They just keep swimming, keep swimming, keep swimming… in the dark.
2. The Beyoncé Fan: One, but they have to do the “Crazy in Love” strut all the way to the hardware store.
3. The MySpace User: One, but you have to be in their “Top 8” before they’ll help you change it.
4. The Jack Sparrow: “Why is the light gone? …Oh, wait, there it is.”
5. The Terminator 3: “I’m back… with a 100-watt replacement.”
6. The Blackout Survivor: None. They’ve already gotten used to living by candlelight and eating half-melted ice cream.
7. The iTunes User: One, but the bulb costs 99 cents and you don’t actually own it, you just have a license to look at it.
8. The Lord of the Rings (Return of the King) Fan: One, but the process takes three hours and has seventeen different endings.
9. The “The O.C.” Teen: “Welcome to the dark, b*tch!”
10. The 50 Cent Fan: “Go, shawty, it’s your birthday… we’re gonna change bulbs like it’s your birthday.”

The Full 2003 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Outkast Fan: “Hey Ya! …Shake it like a Polaroid bulb!”
12. The Hulk (2003) Fan: “Hulk SMASH… the old bulb!”
13. The Matrix Reloaded Fan: One, but there are 500 copies of him and they’re all fighting a guy in a suit.
14. The Elf: “I just like to screw in bulbs! Screwing is my favorite!”
15. The Linkin Park (Meteora) Fan: “I’ve become so numb… to this burnt-out filament.”
16. The Evanescence Fan: “Wake me up inside… because I can’t see anything!”
17. The Black Eyed Peas Fan: “Where is the light? …The light, the light, the light?” Black Eyed Peas: “Where is the love?”
18. The Johnny Cash (Hurt) Fan: “I wear this crown of darkness… upon my liar’s chair.”
19. The Kill Bill Assassin: One, but she has to fight the Crazy 88 before she can reach the socket.
20. The Finding Nemo Shark: “Bulbs are friends, not food.”
21. The Pirates of the Caribbean Fan: “You will always remember this as the day you almost changed the light bulb!”
22. The School of Rock Teacher: “You’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore… and change your own bulbs!”
23. The 2 Fast 2 Furious Fan: “Ejecto-seato, bulb-o!”
24. The Bad Boys II Cop: “We ride together, we die together… in the dark.”
25. The Justin Timberlake (Cry Me a River) Fan: “You don’t have to say… what you did… I already know the bulb is out.”
26. The Sean Paul Fan: “Just gimme the light and pass the… new bulb.”
27. The Hilary Duff Fan: “Why not take a crazy chance? Why not change the bulb?”
28. The Simple Plan Fan: “I’m sorry I can’t be perfect… and screw this in straight.”
29. The Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic Player: One, but their choice of bulb determines if they go to the Light Side or the Dark Side.
30. The Call of Duty Player: One, but they need a whole squad to cover them while they climb the ladder.
31. The Ugg Boots Wearer: One, but they’re too comfy on the couch to get up.
32. The Trucker Hat Icon: One, but they have to wear the hat sideways while doing it.
33. The Scientist: “We’ve cloned a mule, surely we can make a bulb that doesn’t pop!”
34. The Librarian: “The dark is just a book that hasn’t been written yet.”
35. The Gym Teacher: “If you can’t reach the bulb, do 20 box jumps!”
36. The Chef: “I’ll change it, but it needs a balsamic reduction.”
37. The Optimist: “This is the perfect time to practice my shadow puppets!”
38. The Pessimist: “The light is just a brief interruption of the darkness.”
39. The Pro-Wrestler: One, but they have to give the old bulb a ‘619’ first.
40. The Detective: “The bulb was clearly a victim of a surge… the suspect is still in the fuse box.”
41. The Tourist: “Is this the famous ‘Room Where the Light Went Out’?”
42. The Reality Producer: “Can we get the ladder to talk about its childhood trauma?”
43. The Bodybuilder: “I’m not changing it, I’m just bench-pressing the ceiling.”
44. The Sailor: “Darkness at noon, sailor’s… wait, it’s just the bulb.”
45. The Poet: “A vacuum of glass, a ghost of a wire.”
46. The Bus Driver: “Move to the back! There’s a flashlight back there!”
47. The Ghost: “I preferred the 19th-century bulbs. They had more soul.”
48. The 2003 Legend: One, but they do it while wearing a velour tracksuit.
49. The Starbucks Fan: “I’ll have a Venti-Watt, no whip.”
50. The American Next Top Model: One, but they have to “smize” while screwing it in.
51. The Da Vinci Code Reader: None. They’re too busy looking for secret symbols on the light fixture.
52. The White Stripes Fan: “A seven-nation army couldn’t hold me back… from this socket.”
53. The Jet (Are You Gonna Be My Girl) Fan: “Big black boots, long brown hair… and a 60-watt bulb.”
54. The Maroon 5 Fan: “Harder to breathe… in this dusty attic while I’m changing this.”
55. The Liz Phair Fan: “Why can’t I… get this bulb to work?”
56. The Freaky Friday Fan: They don’t change the bulb; they just swap bodies with the electrician.
57. The Holes Fan: One, but they have to dig a hole five feet deep before they can change it.
58. The Daredevil (Movie) Fan: They don’t need the light; they use echolocation to find the fridge.
59. The Old School Fan: “We’re going streaking! …Through the dark!”
60. The Love Actually Fan: To them, the light bulb is perfect.
61. The 2003 Trendsetter: One, but they do it while wearing a Livestrong bracelet (even though it’s technically 2004, they got an early one).