53 Classic Blonde Jokes: The 2014 Archive

The 2014 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The Ice Bucket Challenge: Why did the blonde try to dump a bucket of ice on her computer? She heard it had a “frozen” screen and thought she was doing a viral challenge to fix it.
2. The iPhone 6 Bendgate: Why did the blonde try to use her new iPhone 6 Plus as a boomerang? She heard it was “bendable” and thought it was supposed to come back to her.
3. The 2048 Game: Why did the blonde stay up all night with a calculator? She was playing “2048” and thought she had to do the math manually to win the game.
4. The Kim Kardashian Paper: Why did the blonde try to balance a glass of champagne on her back? She saw the “Break the Internet” photo and thought it was a new physical therapy exercise.
5. The Disney’s Maleficent: Why did the blonde wear giant horns to the office? She watched “Maleficent” and thought she was the new “head of security.”
6. The Pharrell’s Hat: Why did the blonde try to hide a whole picnic under her hat? She saw Pharrell at the Grammys and thought giant headwear was the new “cargo” fashion.
7. The Uber Growth: Why did the blonde try to “rate” her mailman five stars on her phone? She had been using Uber so much she thought every service came with a mobile review.
8. The Interstellar Movie: Why did the blonde bring a watch and a bag of dirt to the cinema? She heard “Interstellar” was about time and farming in space.
9. The Alexa Launch: Why did the blonde start talking to her cylinder-shaped Pringles can? She heard about the new “Amazon Echo” and thought her snacks were now voice-activated.
10. The Tinder Swipe: Why did the blonde try to “swipe left” on her real-life blind date? She forgot she wasn’t on her phone and was looking for a “delete” button in the air.

The Full 2014 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Mouse: Why did the blonde give her mouse a piece of cheese? She thought it was “hungry” for more gigabytes.
12. The Keyboard: Why did the blonde put a bandage on her keyboard? She heard she had a “stuck” key.
13. The Monitor: Why did the blonde put sunglasses on her monitor? She said the “Windows” were too bright today.
14. The Printer: Why did the blonde put a mirror in front of the printer? She wanted to see a “double” printout.
15. The Scanner: Why did the blonde put a picture of her face on the scanner? She wanted to “face” her digital problems.
16. The Email: Why did the blonde keep her computer in the freezer? She was waiting for “cool” mail.
17. The Password: Why did the blonde change her password to “Incorrect”? Because the computer kept telling her the old one was “incorrect.”
18. The Desktop: Why did the blonde put a glass of water on her desktop? She wanted to see the “liquid” in the LCD screen.
19. The Icon: Why did the blonde think her computer was a church? It had so many “icons” on the screen.
20. The Folder: Why did the blonde put a real folder on her monitor? She wanted to “organize” her desktop files.
21. The Link: Why did the blonde bring a chain to the computer? She heard there were “broken links.”
22. The Virus: Why did the blonde give her computer a glass of orange juice? She heard there was a “new virus” going around.
23. The CD: Why did the blonde use her CD as a frisbee? She wanted to “transfer” data to her friend across the street.
24. The Search: Why did the blonde use a magnifying glass on her screen? She was “searching” for the home page.
25. The Scroll: Why did the blonde bring a rolling pin to the computer? She heard she needed to “scroll” down the page.
26. The Font: Why did the blonde change her font to “Arial”? She wanted her text to have “more air.”
27. The Port: Why did the blonde bring a suitcase to her computer? She heard it had a “USB port.”
28. The Bit: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to see if it had 32 “bits.”
29. The Chip: Why did the blonde put a potato chip in her computer? She heard it needed a “microchip.”
30. The Fan: Why did the blonde bring a pom-pom to her computer? She wanted to be a “fan” of the cooling system.
31. The RAM: Why did the blonde bring a sheep to the office? She heard the computer needed more “RAM” for the new software.
32. The Hard Drive: Why did the blonde take her computer for a long walk? She wanted to give it a “hard drive.”
33. The Firewall: Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the computer? She heard it had a “firewall.”
34. The Buffer: Why did the blonde bring a car wax? She heard the video was “buffering.”
35. The Cookies: Why did the blonde look inside her computer? She was looking for the “cookies” the websites promised her.
36. The Crash: Why did the blonde call a tow truck? Her computer “crashed” on the information highway.
37. The Java: Why did the blonde pour coffee on her mouse? She wanted to use “Java.”
38. The Bug: Why did the blonde use bug spray on her screen? She heard there was a “software bug.”
39. The Bookmark: Why did the blonde put a post-it note on her monitor? She wanted to “bookmark” a site.
40. The Refresh: Why did the blonde splash water on her face? She clicked “Refresh” on her browser.
41. The Selfie: Why did the blonde try to take a photo of her brain? She heard it was the only way to prove it was still “online.”
42. The WhatsApp: Why did the blonde stare at the blue ticks? She thought it was a new type of “digital clock.”
43. The 4K Video: Why did the blonde put four keys on her monitor? She heard she was watching a “4K” video.
44. The Smart TV: Why did the blonde ask her TV to help her with homework? She heard it was a “Smart TV.”
45. The Drone: Why did the blonde throw her phone in the air? She heard about “drone photography” and wanted to try it out.
46. The E-Book: Why did the blonde try to charge her paperback? She thought it was an “E-book.”
47. The Hashtag: Why did the blonde put a pound sign on her front door? She wanted to be “trending” in her neighborhood.
48. The Cloud: Why did the blonde put her laptop in a bag of marshmallows? She heard her data was in “the cloud.”
49. The GoPro: Why did the blonde strap a camera to her cat? She wanted to see a “point of view” of the litter box.
50. The Netflix: Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the computer? She heard about “Netflix and chill.”
51. The Bitcoin: Why did the blonde try to polish her hard drive? She heard Bitcoins were “digital gold.”
52. The Wearables: Why did the blonde try to wear her laptop as a hat? She heard “wearable tech” was the new fashion.
53. The End: Why did the blonde think 2014 was the “coldest” year? Because she spent the whole time dumping ice on her head and waiting for a “like”!