38 Christmas Jokes: The 2021 “Squid Game & Bernie’s Mittens” Edition

In 2021, Christmas was a “Hybrid” experience. We were halfway out of our houses, halfway into the “Metaverse,” and fully obsessed with three different Spider-Men pointing at each other. It was the year of the “Great Resignation” and the “Great Reunion.”

The 2021 Top 10: “Tracksuits & Grumpy Mittens”

1. Squid Game: Why was the holiday party so stressful? Because instead of “Musical Chairs,” the kids were playing “Red Light, Green Light,” and everyone was terrified of the giant doll staring at the dessert table.
2. Bernie Sanders’ Mittens: Why was Grandpa sitting alone in a folding chair wearing huge wool mittens? He wasn’t cold; he was just recreating the ultimate 2021 meme to show he was “once again asking” for more pie.
3. Spider-Man: No Way Home: Why were there three different Santas in the chimney? Because the multiverse broke, and now every generation’s version of Father Christmas has to team up to deliver the coal.
4. NFTs (Non-Fungible Tokens): Why was the gift exchange so confusing? Because Dad “bought” Mom a digital picture of a bored monkey for $50,000, and she was upset because she couldn’t actually wear it or use it to clean the kitchen.
5. The Suez Canal Blockage: Why were the gifts late? Because a giant ship called the Ever Given got stuck sideways in a canal, and Mikołaj had to explain that the supply chain is more fragile than a glass ornament.
6. The “Friends” Reunion: Why was everyone crying at the TV? Because the cast finally got back together on that orange couch, and we all realized that we—and they—had aged 17 years in what felt like a weekend.
7. Dune: Why was there sand in the living room? Because Denis Villeneuve made “desert power” cool again, and Dad was convinced that he was the “Lisan al-Gaib” of the backyard.
8. Olivia Rodrigo – “Drivers License”: Why was the teenage niece crying in the driveway? Because she finally got her license, but she spent the whole holiday “driving past your house” while singing about her ex.
9. The Metaverse: Why was Mark Zuckerberg wearing a digital sweater? Because Facebook changed its name to Meta, and now we’re all supposed to pretend that hanging out as legless avatars is better than real life.
10. Ted Lasso: Why was everyone so “Believe”-ing? Because the show taught us that “Biscuits with the Boss” and kindness are the only ways to survive a global crisis (and British football).

The Full 2021 Christmas Archive (Highlights)

11. Britney is Free: Why was the holiday so celebratory? Because after 13 years, the #FreeBritney movement won, and the “Toxic” era of her conservatorship was finally over.
12. The “Bones or No Bones” Pug: Why was the morning so lazy? Because a pug named Noodle decided it was a “No Bones Day,” which meant the whole family was legally allowed to stay in bed until noon.
13. Mare of Easttown: Why was Mom drinking a “Rolling Rock” and saying “Wudder”? Because Kate Winslet made being a grumpy detective from Pennsylvania the ultimate 2021 mood.
14. The “Berries and Cream” TikTok: Why was the nephew hopping around like a Victorian lad? Because a 2007 commercial became a viral dance, and 2021 humor was officially unexplainable.
15. Cruella: Why was the fashion so “punk”? Because Emma Stone showed us that being a Disney villain requires a lot of dalmatian print and a very dramatic entrance.
16. The Great Resignation: Why was the elf station empty? Because even the North Pole staff realized they were underpaid and “quiet quit” to start a podcast about toy-making.
17. Chet Hanks’ “White Boy Summer”: Why was the summer so awkward? Because Tom Hanks’ son tried to start a movement, and the internet spent three months wondering what was happening.
18. The Tokyo Olympics: Why were they in 2021? Because the “2020” logo was already printed, and we all watched cardboard beds and empty stadiums while cheering for “Pizza-eating” athletes.
19. Lil Nas X – “Montero”: Why was the devil wearing a holiday hat? Because Lil Nas X gave us the most controversial music video of the year and proved he’s the king of internet marketing.
20. Black Widow: Why was the movie on the TV and in the theater? Because Disney and Scarlett Johansson ended up in court over “streaming vs. cinema,” making the holiday release a legal drama.
21. The “Anakin & Padme” Meme: Why was the conversation so repetitive? “I’m going to finish the leftovers.” “For the kids, right?” “…” “For the kids, right??”
22. The Billionaire Space Race: Why was there a giant “blue origin” rocket under the tree? Because Bezos and Branson went to space for ten minutes, and we all stayed home to pay for their shipping.
23. Fast & Furious 9: Why was the minivan in space? Because the franchise officially ran out of roads on Earth and decided that physics is just a suggestion.
24. The “Sea Shanty” Craze: Why was everyone singing like an 18th-century sailor? Because “The Wellerman” reminded us that we’re all just waiting for the “sugar and tea and rum” to arrive.
25. House of Gucci: Why was everyone saying “Father, Son, and House of Gucci”? Because Lady Gaga’s accent was so wild it became a holiday prayer.
26. The “Milk Crate Challenge”: Why was there a pile of yellow crates in the ER? Because 2021 was the year people decided that climbing a pyramid of plastic was a good idea.
27. Yellowjackets: Why was the soccer team so scary? Because the show premiered and made us all a little nervous about “sharing” a meal in the wilderness.
28. The “Zodiac Sign” Debate: Why was everyone asking “What’s your big three?” Because 2021 was the year we let the stars decide if we were allowed to be annoying at dinner.
29. Succession (Season 3): Why was the family argument so “corporate”? Because the Roy family returned, and now every sibling is trying to “optimize” their share of the inheritance.
30. The “Couch Guy” Mystery: Why were the teens analyzing a 10-second TikTok? Because the internet became a collective detective agency to find out if a guy was happy to see his girlfriend.
31. Adele – “30”: Why was the divorce talk so melodic? Because Adele returned to “Go Easy” on us while we cried into our wine.
32. The “Peppa Pig” vs. “Kanye” Beef: Why was the cartoon pig winning? Because Peppa’s album got a better review than Donda, and the internet lived for the drama.
33. Encanto: Why don’t we talk about Bruno? Because “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” became the #1 song in the world, and now we literally can’t talk about anything else.
34. The “Metaverse” (Part 2): Why was Dad wearing VR goggles at the table? Because he was “visiting” a digital version of the kitchen that looked exactly like the real kitchen but with worse graphics.
35. The Astroworld Tragedy: Why was the mood so heavy? Because 2021 reminded us that sometimes the party goes way too far.
36. West Side Story (Remake): Why was everyone snapping in rhythm? Because Spielberg proved that you can’t beat a classic, especially with better lighting.
37. The “Red (Taylor’s Version)” Scarf: Why was everyone looking for a scarf in a drawer at Maggie Gyllenhaal’s house? Because Taylor Swift released a 10-minute song and made us all hate Jake Gyllenhaal again.
38. The Final 2021 Vibe: Why was everyone so “Boosted”? Because we reached the end of the year with a little more protection, a lot more memes, and a “Squid Game” tracksuit for 2022.