34 Christmas Jokes: The 2015 “Force Awakens & The Dress” Edition

In 2015, Christmas was a return to the stars. We were all arguing about the color of a dress, watching “Left Shark” fail at the Super Bowl, and realizing that a “Hoverboard” was actually just a self-balancing scooter that liked to catch on fire.

The 2015 Top 10: “Lightsabers & Color Debates”

1. The Force Awakens: Why was the 2015 Christmas so nostalgic? Because Han Solo was back, the lightsabers were redder, and every Dad in the world spent the day pointing at the screen and whispering, “That’s a real prop, not CGI.”
2. The Dress (Blue/Black vs. White/Gold): Why did the family fight start before the turkey was served? Because Mom thought the dress was white and gold, Sis swore it was blue and black, and the dog was the only one who realized it was just a poorly lit photo.
3. The “Hoverboard” Craze: Why was the fire department on speed dial? Because every kid got a “Hoverboard” (that didn’t actually hover) and spent the afternoon spinning in circles until the battery exploded in the living room.
4. Drake – “Hotline Bling”: Why was Dad dancing so strangely in the kitchen? He wasn’t having a seizure; he was just trying to do the “Drake shuffle” in a chunky knit sweater.
5. Inside Out: Why was everyone’s “Sadness” showing? Because Pixar made us realize that all our emotions are just tiny people living in our heads, and “Disgust” is the only one in charge of the broccoli casserole.
6. The Apple Watch (Launch): Why was the tech-cousin staring at his wrist every ten seconds? Because he got the first Apple Watch and needed to prove that “checking his heartbeat” was more important than checking the oven.
7. Adele – “Hello”: Why was the bathroom so echoey? Because “Hello from the other side” was the only thing people sang while trying to hide from their relatives.
8. Left Shark: Why was the Christmas pageant so uncoordinated? Because the “Left Shark” from the Super Bowl became the spirit animal for anyone who didn’t know the dance moves but showed up anyway.
9. Mad Max: Fury Road: Why was the drive to the mall so intense? Because Dad saw the movie and now he thinks the minivan is a “War Rig” and every green light is a sign to “Witness him!”
10. The Minions Movie: Why was the gift wrap so yellow? Because the Minions finally got their own movie, and by Christmas, they had successfully colonized every toy aisle and cereal box in existence.

The Full 2015 Christmas Archive (Highlights)

11. Jurassic World: Why were the kids running in heels? Because Bryce Dallas Howard convinced them that outrunning a T-Rex in stilettos is a perfectly reasonable holiday activity.
12. The “Netflix and Chill” Era: Why was the term so confusing for Grandma? Because she thought it meant literally watching a movie and relaxing, and she couldn’t understand why the teenagers were blushing.
13. Justin Bieber’s Redemption: Why was the radio so “Sorry”? Because Purpose dropped, and even the “Bieber-haters” had to admit that “Love Yourself” was a bop.
14. The “Why You Always Lyin'” Meme: Why was the nephew smiling so suspiciously? Because he was humming the song every time Grandpa told a story about “walking 10 miles in the snow.”
15. Hamilton (The Hype): Why was the history buff rapping? Because the musical became a phenomenon, and now everyone thought they could explain the U.S. financial system in a 4-bar verse.
16. The Martian: Why was Dad obsessed with the garden? Because Matt Damon showed him that you can grow potatoes anywhere if you are “sciencing the s***” out of it.
17. Caitlyn Jenner: Why was the “Vanity Fair” cover the talk of the table? Because 2015 was the year “Call Me Caitlyn” changed the conversation about identity forever.
18. The “Deez Nuts” Candidate: Why was the political talk so juvenile? Because a 15-year-old from Iowa ran for president under a meme name and actually got 9% of the vote in some polls.
19. The Man Bunny: Why was the cousin’s hair in a tiny knot? Because 2015 was the peak of the “Man Bun,” making every guy look like they were about to lead a yoga class or start a craft brewery.
20. The Peanuts Movie: Why was the holiday so “Good Grief”? Because Charlie Brown returned to the big screen to remind us that even if we fail at everything, we still get a giant rock in our trick-or-treat bag.
21. The “Pizza Rat” Video: Why was everyone watching the floor? Because if a rat in New York could carry a whole slice of pizza down the subway stairs, surely we could carry the heavy tray of ham.
22. The Revenant: Why was the uncle sleeping in a sleeping bag in the yard? He wasn’t; he just saw the trailer and wanted to prove he could survive a bear attack (even if the “bear” was just the neighbor’s labradoodle).
23. The Big Short: Why was the economy so confusing? Because the movie used Margot Robbie in a bathtub to explain subprime mortgages, and Dad was still confused but very attentive.
24. Rocket League: Why were the kids “driving” soccer balls? Because the game combined cars and sports, proving that you don’t need a license to be a pro athlete.
25. The “Squad Goals” Trend: Why was the friend group so coordinated? Because Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” video made us believe that every walk to the coffee shop should look like an action movie.
26. Spectre: Why was the holiday drink “Bold”? Because Daniel Craig was back as Bond, and even the cheap ginger ale felt like it needed a tuxedo and a secret mission.
27. Straight Outta Compton: Why was everyone “Straight Outta [Insert Small Town Here]”? Because the meme generator made everyone feel like they were from the hardest neighborhood in the suburbs.
28. The “Shia LaBeouf” Motivation: Why was the nephew screaming “JUST DO IT!” in the mirror? Because the green-screen video convinced him that his dreams were only one aggressive shout away.
29. Ant-Man: Why was the gift so small? Because Paul Rudd proved that being the size of an insect is actually a superpower, especially when trying to hide from the in-laws.
30. The Hateful Eight: Why was the dinner so long? Because Quentin Tarantino movies are 3 hours long and everyone is suspicious of each other by the time the coffee is served.
31. The Windows 10 Launch: Why was the computer actually “free”? Because Microsoft gave it away for a year to make everyone forget that Windows 8 ever existed.
32. The “Left Shark” (Part 2): Why did the Christmas tree have a fin? Because we were still obsessed with the shark that forgot its choreography but won our hearts.
33. The “Netflix” Price Hike: Why was Dad complaining about “pennies”? Because the streaming service went up by $1, and he acted like he was being personally audited by the IRS.
34. The Final 2015 Vibe: Why was everyone so “Awakened”? Because the 90s were officially back (via Star Wars), the dress was whatever color you wanted it to be, and we were ready for 2016.