39 Christmas Jokes: The 2016 “Pokémon GO & Upside Down” Edition

In 2016, Christmas was a strange mix of virtual reality and 80s nostalgia. We were all obsessed with finding “Demogorgons,” mourning a beloved gorilla, and trying to figure out how to survive a year that felt like it was written by a chaotic AI.

The 2016 Top 10: “Pocket Monsters & Eggo Waffles”

1. Pokémon GO: Why was the 2016 holiday walk so long? Because the whole family was wandering the neighborhood looking for a Snorlax, and the only “miracle” was that nobody walked into the frozen lake.
2. Stranger Things: Why were the Christmas lights talking? Because Joyce Byers convinced us that blinking bulbs are the only way to communicate with your son when he’s trapped in a parallel dimension.
3. Harambe: Why was the guest of honor a gorilla? Because 2016 was the year we promised to “never forget,” and Harambe became the patron saint of every internet joke under the tree.
4. The Cubs Win: Why was Grandpa crying? Because the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years, proving that a Christmas miracle can actually happen, even if it takes a century.
5. Deadpool: Why was the superhero so “naughty”? Because Ryan Reynolds proved that you can wear red spandex, break the fourth wall, and still be the most popular guy in the stocking.
6. The Mannequin Challenge: Why did the whole family freeze during dinner? Because “Black Beatles” started playing and everyone had to stand perfectly still for two minutes while the cousin filmed it for Instagram.
7. Bottle Flipping: Why was the kitchen so noisy? Because every kid in America spent the holidays trying to flip a half-full water bottle so it would land upright on the counter.
8. Moana: Why was the boat in the driveway? Because Disney taught us that “The Ocean Calls,” and the kids were convinced they could navigate to the grocery store using only the stars.
9. The iPhone 7 (No Jack): Why was Dad so frustrated? Because Apple removed the headphone jack, and he spent the morning looking for a “dongle” just to listen to his favorite carols.
10. Zootopia: Why was the sloth serving the holiday ham? Because Disney showed us that a DMV run can take three years, which is roughly the same time it takes to get through the airport at Christmas.

The Full 2016 Christmas Archive (Highlights)

11. Rogue One: Why was the holiday so “rebellious”? Because we finally learned how the Rebels got the Death Star plans, and we all realized that K-2SO was the most relatable droid ever.
12. The “Dab” Dance: Why did everyone look like they were sneezing into their elbows? Because the “Dab” was the only legal dance move allowed at any 2016 party.
13. Finding Dory: Why was the dinner so forgetful? Because Dory returned to remind us that as long as we “just keep swimming,” we’ll eventually find where we hid the presents.
14. Suicide Squad: Why was the makeup so messy? Because every girl wanted to be Harley Quinn, and every guy wanted to be a Joker that looked like he fell into a tackle box.
15. The Great British Bake Off (Drama): Why was the cake so sad? Because the show moved to a new channel and everyone was mourning the loss of Mary, Mel, and Sue.
16. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar: Why was the forest so safe? Because Leo finally won his Oscar for The Revenant, and he can finally stop fighting bears for attention.
17. Lemonade: Why was there so much citrus at the party? Because Beyoncé gave us the ultimate “visual album” and taught us that if life gives you lemons, you make a billion dollars.
18. The “Damn Daniel” Meme: Why was everyone staring at the white sneakers? Because if you weren’t “back at it again with the white Vans,” you weren’t winning 2016.
19. Fantastic Beasts: Why was the suitcase rattling? Because Newt Scamander brought the Wizarding World back, and we all hoped there was a Niffler in our stocking to find the lost TV remote.
20. Westworld: Why was the host so polite? Because the show made us realize that the person serving the eggnog might actually be an android having an existential crisis.
21. La La Land: Why were people dancing on their cars? Because Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone made jazz and “city of stars” the most romantic (and heartbreaking) vibe of the year.
22. The “Hodor” Moment: Why was everyone crying at the door? Because Game of Thrones fans finally learned the truth, and now “Hold the door” is a tragedy, not a polite gesture.
23. Closer (The Chainsmokers): Why was the song playing in every room? Because you couldn’t drive a “Rover” or go to “Tucson” without hearing that hook at least ten times.
24. The Galaxy Note 7: Why was the gift exchange “explosive”? Because Samsung’s phone was banned from airplanes and living rooms for being a literal fire hazard.
25. Arrival: Why was the alphabet so weird? Because Amy Adams taught us that “heptapods” just want to talk, but it’s hard to communicate when you’re busy eating gingerbread.
26. The “Evil Kermit” Meme: Why was the inner voice so dark? Because the “Hooded Kermit” reminded us that even during Christmas, our subconscious wants us to eat the whole box of chocolates.
27. Sing: Why was the pig wearing sequins? Because the movie proved that any animal with a dream can win a singing competition (and sell a lot of soundtracks).
28. The “Ken Bone” Moment: Why was the red sweater so famous? Because for one week in October, a man in a half-zip pullover was the most trusted person in America.
29. Doctor Strange: Why was the hallway bending? Because Benedict Cumberbatch entered the MCU and made “magic” look like a very expensive screen saver.
30. The “Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen” (PPAP): Why was the song so short? Because 45 seconds was all we could handle of a man stabbing fruit with a pen while wearing leopard print.
31. The Cubs World Series Parade: Why were 5 million people in the street? Because 2016 was the year of “finally,” and the party was 108 years in the making.
32. Trolls: Why was the hair so tall? Because Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick made “happiness” a neon-colored musical that stayed in our heads until March.
33. The “Joe Biden/Obama” Bromance Memes: Why were the photos so funny? Because we all wanted a friendship that involved secret handshakes and hilarious captions.
34. No Man’s Sky: Why was the universe so empty? Because the game promised 18 quintillion planets, but most of them just had the same rock and a very lonely robot.
35. The “Salt Bae” Reveal: Why was the salt falling off the elbow? Because 2016 taught us that seasoning meat can be a theatrical performance.
36. Black Mirror (San Junipero): Why was the 80s vibe so strong? Because the show gave us a “happy” episode for once, and we all wanted to live in a neon-lit beach town forever.
37. The “Arthur’s Fist” Meme: Why was the cartoon aardvark so angry? Because he was the perfect way to express how we felt when we saw the “sold out” sign on the hot toy of the year.
38. The First “Live” Presidential Debates: Why was the TV so loud? Because 2016 was the year that politics became the most-watched reality show in history.
39. The Final 2016 Vibe: Why was everyone so “Strange”? Because between the Demogorgons and the Pokémon, we weren’t sure what was real anymore, but we were ready for 2017.