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The Two Hearts

Medical anomalies found only in the courtroom.

A lawyer was in a car accident and his heart stopped. The doctor replaced it with a stone. Now he’s the most successful litigator in the state.

🔥 Top 10: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Vintage: The Deepfake Alibi
 In 2025, every criminal has an alibi. "That wasn't me robbing th...read more »
2025 Archive: The Inheritance
 A lawyer brought a 3D-scanner to the funeral to "mint" the decea...read more »
2025 Archive: The Robot Associate
 Why did the robot associate quit? It realized that even with a p...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Ethical AI
 Why was the firm's AI decommissioned? It refused to overcharge a...read more »
45 Lawyer Jokes: The 2018 “GDPR & Space Law” Edition
In 2018, the legal world found its new gold mine: privacy regulat...read more »
The Legal Pad
Yellow paper and the golden dreams of a partner.Why do lawyers we...read more »
2025 Classic: The Universal Basic Income Suit
 A lawyer sued the government for UBI on behalf of his firm. He a...read more »
The 10% Rule
Math for beginners in the world of settlements.What do you call a...read more »
2025 Classic: The Joker 2 Suit
 A lawyer represented Harley Quinn to sue the Joker for "failure ...read more »
47 Lawyer Jokes: The 2016 “Gotta Sue 'Em All” Edition
In 2016, the boundary between reality and digital life vanished. ...read more »

😜 More from category: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

49 Lawyer Jokes: The 2023 “Prompt Engineering & Hallucination” Edition
In 2023, the legal profession realized that the "Bar Exam" might ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Retainer Fee
 He called it a "Quantum Retainer"—the money exists and doesn't e...read more »
2025 Archive: The Apple Vision Pro 3
 A lawyer used the headset to see a "truth-meter" over the witnes...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Closing Argument
 A lawyer crossed the road to serve a subpoena to a "Fully Autono...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Mean_Girls_Regina01/11/2000 18:15Get in loser, we are going laughing!
@Coffee_Addict07/28/2003 06:33404: Laughter not found... Just kidding, it’s 200 OK!
@Tank_Operator03/12/2011 23:33Loading the training program... for comedy.
@Blink_182_Mark02/05/2013 13:25What’s my age again? Too old for this, but I’m laughing!
@MTV_Unplugged10/01/2007 19:24Pure, acoustic humor. No effects needed.
@Ali_G_In_Da_H04/08/1999 22:47Is it cos I is funny? Respect!
@Spawn_Camper_J03/05/2010 18:45I’m staying right here until I read every joke.
@True_Story_Neil09/15/2003 01:18True story! I was there!
@Cloud_Computing05/10/2014 09:26Storing my laughs in the cloud.

Yearly Joke Archive

3 thoughts on “The Two Hearts”

  1. User_447
    User_447 [Human Verified]

    haha, i’m gonna use this at the pub tonight. hope i dont mess up the delivery.

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