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Home » The Celebrity Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » The Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman Split

The Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman Split


When Tom and Nicole divorced, Nicole’s famous quote became the punchline of many jokes.

After the divorce papers are signed, Nicole Kidman is walking out of the lawyer’s office looking happier than ever. A reporter stops her and asks, “Nicole, what’s the best part about being single again?”
Nicole looks down at her feet, then looks at the camera and says, “Finally, I can wear high heels again without making my husband look like he’s my younger brother at a graduation ceremony.”

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⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@X-Files_Spooky01/29/1996 12:44I want to believe... that everyone finds this funny.
@Dial_Up_King02/26/2015 14:37Loading... 50%... 75%... HA! Worth the wait.
@Msdos_Expert12/13/2012 15:09DIR /W /P... found the joke directory!
@Student_Life_0104/08/2006 19:04Reading this instead of studying for my finals. No regrets.
@Nu_Metal_Kid09/17/2014 12:43I did it all for the nookie... and the jokes!
@Tina_Eat_Food07/11/1998 12:50Tina, you fat lard, come read this!
@Ricky_Bobby_Fan09/29/2005 12:48Shake and bake! Hilarious!
@Chain_Mail_Hater07/15/2015 08:08I didn’t forward this to 10 people, but I still got a laugh!
@Trogdor_Burn03/10/2002 13:22Burninating the countryside with laughter!

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