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Home » The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 1996 Classic: The Super Soaker CPS 2000

1996 Classic: The Super Soaker CPS 2000

Why was 1996 the wettest year? Because the new “Constant Pressure System” meant your little brother could snipe you from three yards away with the force of a fire hose.

Part of the 37 Fourth of July Jokes: The 1996 “Welcome to Earth” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2023 Archive: The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
Why was everyone crying over the dog? Because Rocket Raccoon’s ba...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Very Demure" Trend
Why was the 2024 parade so polite? Because everyone was trying to...read more »
34 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2010 “Inception & Vuvuzelas” Edition
In 2010, Independence Day was a "dream within a dream." We were a...read more »
2025 Legacy: The "Eco-Fountain" Fireworks
Why was the firework silent? Because "Noise-Pollution-Free" pyrot...read more »
2025 Archive: The Apple Vision Pro "Normalcy"
Why were so many guests wearing high-tech goggles at the pool? Be...read more »
39 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2006 “High School Musical & Hot Styles” Edition
In 2006, Independence Day was "Very Nice!" (in our best Borat voi...read more »
2024 Classic: The Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Teasers)
Why was the 4th so "Spooky"? Because Michael Keaton was coming ba...read more »
2023 Archive: The "Cruel Summer" (Finally) Peak
Why was a 2019 song the hit of 2023? Because Taylor Swift decided...read more »
37 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2011 “Party Rock & Potter’s End” Edition
In 2011, Independence Day was all about "Every day I'm shufflin'....read more »
2025 Legacy: The "Cyber-S'mores"
Why was the marshmallow glowing? Because it was infused with "Saf...read more »

😜 More from category: The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025

The Family BBQ Disaster
It was Fourth of July and my entire family was at our backyard BB...read more »
31 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2002 “Web-Slingers & Idols” Edition
In 2002, Independence Day was a mix of classic American pride and...read more »
41 Fourth of July Jokes: The 1999 “Party Like It’s...” Edition
In 1999, Independence Day felt like the ultimate "Pre-Game" for t...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Hyper-Loop" Parade
Why did the parade last 3 seconds? Because they put the floats on...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Pirates_Jack_S07/01/1998 22:45But you have heard of this joke!
@Optical_Mouse_9901/09/2003 07:10I don’t even need a mousepad to click on this joke.
@AllYourBase_9908/14/1998 23:31All your jokes are belong to us! Take off every zig!
@Infoseek_Explorer10/01/2005 22:59Seeking info, found a laugh. Mission success.
@Bebo_Lover_0511/24/2013 03:55Luv this! Sharing with my luvs!
@Leet_Speaker_7708/29/2009 12:487h15 15 v3ry funny! 10v3 17!
@Everquest_Solo12/27/1998 16:19Grinding for levels and laughs since 1999.

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