34 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2010 “Inception & Vuvuzelas” Edition

In 2010, Independence Day was a “dream within a dream.” We were all wearing Silly Bandz, playing Angry Birds on our first iPads, and trying to figure out if we were “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob” (again). It was the year of the “Waka Waka” dance, the rise of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls,” and the realization that a simple “Like” button on Facebook could make or break a friendship.

The 2010 Independence Top 10: “Totems & Trinkets”

1. The Inception Paranoia: Why was the 2010 BBQ so confusing? Because everyone brought a “totem” to the grill to make sure they weren’t just dreaming about the ribs, and half the guests were trying to “kick” themselves out of a food coma.
2. The Vuvuzela Invasion: Why was the parade so loud? Because the World Cup was in full swing, and everyone brought those plastic horns that sounded like a swarm of 10,000 angry bees attacking the marching band.
3. The “California Gurls” Vibe: Why was the 4th so “sweet”? Because Katy Perry made wearing cupcake-themed outfits and blue wigs a legitimate patriotic choice for a summer pool party.
4. The Birth of Instagram: Why was the food cold? Because we had to wait 10 minutes for the host to find the perfect “X-Pro II” filter to make the potato salad look like it was from 1974.
5. The Despicable Me Minions: Why were there so many yellow things in the yard? Because Gru’s minions arrived, and suddenly every child at the BBQ was speaking “Banana” and trying to steal the moon (or at least the last brownie).
6. The Silly Bandz Craze: Why was everyone’s wrist circulation cut off? Because you weren’t “cool” in 2010 unless you had 45 glow-in-the-dark rubber bands shaped like dinosaurs and palm trees.
7. The “Waka Waka” Fever: Why was the dance floor so “African”? Because Shakira gave us the official anthem of the summer, and even the most uncoordinated Dads were trying to do the “Time for Africa” clap.
8. The Iron Man 2 Return: Why was the griller acting like a tech mogul? Because Tony Stark was back, and the Dad at the BBQ was convinced his new spatula was powered by a miniature arc reactor.
9. The iPad Launch: Why was the “Tech Uncle” so smug? Because he brought a giant, oversized iPhone that didn’t make calls to the picnic, just to show everyone how cool it was to look at a digital weather app.
10. The Toy Story 3 Trauma: Why was everyone hugging their old teddy bears? Because Pixar made us realize that our childhood toys were probably suffering in the attic, making the 4th of July a very emotional day for grown men.

The Full 2010 Fourth of July Archive

11. The “Airplanes” B.o.B & Hayley Williams: Why were we staring at the sky? Because we “could really use a wish right now” that the fireworks would actually start on time.
12. The The Social Network Hype: Why was the college kid so intense? Because he was practicing his “I’m a billionaire” stare and telling everyone that a hot dog isn’t “cool,” you know what’s cool? A billion hot dogs.
13. The “Dynamite” Taio Cruz: Why was the 4th so explosive? Because Taio Cruz told us to “throw our hands up in the air” every time something went “Boom! Boom! Boom!”
14. The Eclipse Premiere: Why was the teen girl so pale? Because the third Twilight movie came out in June, and she was still recovering from the “Team Jacob” shirtless scenes.
15. The “Billionaire” Travie McCoy: Why was everyone singing about Forbes magazine? Because we all wanted to be on the cover next to Oprah and the Queen, while sitting in a folding lawn chair.
16. The Alice in Wonderland (Burton) Style: Why was the tea party so weird? Because Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter made us think that wearing a giant top hat to a BBQ was a “mood.”
17. **The “Tik Tok” Ke\(ha (Peak):** Why did the party start at 8 AM? Because Ke\)ha told us to brush our teeth with Jack Daniels and not stop until we see the sun (or the parade).
18. The The Karate Kid Remake: Why was the kid “putting his jacket on and off”? Because Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan made “jacket discipline” the most important backyard skill of 2010.
19. The “OMG” Usher: Why was the host so surprised? Because Will.i.am added so much Auto-Tune to the conversation that “Oh My Gosh” was the only way to respond to a burger.
20. The Shrek Forever After: Why was it the “Final” BBQ? Because they promised it was the last Shrek movie (they lied), so we all ate our corn with a sense of “ogre-ish” closure.
21. The “Love the Way You Lie” Drama: Why was the fire so intense? Because Eminem and Rihanna were singing about things being “on fire,” which is a dangerous theme for a charcoal grill.
22. The The Expendables: Why were the Dads acting so tough? Because Stallone gathered every action star from the 80s, making every man over 40 feel like he could take down a small army with a rolling pin.
23. The “Cooler Than Me” Mike Posner: Why was the girl in the sunglasses so distant? Because Mike Posner told her she was “cooler than him,” and she took it way too literally.
24. The Salt Movie: Why was the Mom acting like a secret agent? Because Angelina Jolie proved that you could be a spy, a mom, and a master of disguise all while wearing a blonde wig.
25. The “Need You Now” Lady A: Why was the 4th so “drunk-dialy”? Because this song made everyone want to call their ex at 1:15 AM to talk about “independence.”
26. The How to Train Your Dragon: Why was the dog being treated like a lizard? Because the movie made us believe that every “beast” just needs a little scratch behind the ear and a flight suit.
27. The “Teenage Dream” Katy Perry: Why was the 4th so nostalgic? Because Katy made us all feel like we were 17 again, even if we were currently struggling to get out of a low lawn chair.
28. The Grown Ups Vibe: Why was the 4th just a bunch of guys sitting around? Because Adam Sandler turned “hanging out with your friends and doing nothing” into a blockbuster movie.
29. The “Alejandro” Lady Gaga: Why was the guest list so specific? Because Gaga kept calling for Fernando and Roberto, and we only had a Steve and a Gary.
30. The Prince of Persia: Why was the Dad trying to “rewind time”? Because he dropped the burger in the dirt and was hoping for a magical dagger to fix the mistake.
31. The “Rude Boy” Rihanna: Why was the 2010 BBQ so “bold”? Because Rihanna was asking “Can you get it up?” (the tent, she obviously meant the tent).
32. The Kick-Ass: Why were the kids wearing green scuba suits? Because being a “superhero with no powers” was the most relatable trend of 2010.
33. The “Magic” B.o.B: Why was the 4th so mystical? Because B.o.B told us he had “the magic in him,” which usually meant he just figured out how to light the fireworks without a lighter.
34. The 2010 Final Vibe: Why was it a “Spiraling” 4th? Because we were trapped in an Inception dream, listening to wuvuzelas, and wondering if our “Like” on Facebook actually meant something in the real world.