How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That’s not funny.

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just declare darkness as the new standard.

How many professors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but they get three publications out of it.

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer to keep the public in the dark.

How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The old one is probably screwed in too tight anyway.

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The glass is already half full.

How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi and one to call Daddy.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb will change itself when it’s ready.

How many union workers does it take to change a light bulb? Fifteen. You got a problem with that?