The official parish marriage registry containing thick, bumpy layers of correction fluid because the secretary refuses to trust the “delete” key on her new electronic… Read More »2014 Classic: The Liquid White-Out Restoration
Why was she there for American Hustle? To prove that 1970s necklines are the most dangerous stunts in Hollywood. Part of the 42 Oscars Jokes:… Read More »2014 Vintage: The Amy Adams Nomination
Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.” Part of the 46 Original Dad Jokes: The 2014 “Ice Bucket” Edition archive.… Read More »2014 Vintage: The Little Sun
Why was Hermione at the UN? Because in 2014, she proved that “it’s wingardium levi-o-sa,” but it’s also time for gender equality. Part of the… Read More »2014 Archive: Emma Watson (HeForShe)
Why were we scanning the local police? To make sure the guy we gave a rifle to today isn’t the same guy who tried to… Read More »2014 Archive: The “Bio-Metric” Exit from Afghanistan
I told her I’m an outlaw. She said, “You’re an ‘In-law’—you spend too much time with your mother.” Part of the 67 Marriage Jokes: The… Read More »2013 Classic: The Dallas Buyers Club
Why is my wallet like a library? People only visit it to “borrow” things. Part of the 44 Original Dad Jokes: The 2012 “End of… Read More »2012 Classic: The Empty Wallet
Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Wendy. / Wendy who? / Wendy wind blows! Part of the 51 Classic Knock-Knock Jokes: The 2012 Apocalypse Edition… Read More »2012 Legacy: The Wendy
Why did the blonde pin a real donut to her computer screen? She heard about “Pinterest” and wanted to show everyone her favorite snack. Part… Read More »2012 Vintage: The Pinterest Launch
I “need” more storage for all these apps. Part of the 124 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Siri & Blocky World Edition (2011) archive. Historically Verified
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