2016 Legacy: The 2016 Ending
“Next year has to be better, right?” The bartender just polishes a glass in silence. Part of the 55 Bar Jokes: The 2016 “Pokémon GO… Read More »2016 Legacy: The 2016 Ending
2016 Archive: The Steph Curry 402 Threes
Why was the record “broken”? Because he hit 400 threes in a season when the previous record was 286, which is just showing off. Part… Read More »2016 Archive: The Steph Curry 402 Threes
2016 Archive: The Harambe Tribute Crisis
Why did the English teacher give out five detentions during a presentation session? Because every time a student finished reading their essay, they would solemnly… Read More »2016 Archive: The Harambe Tribute Crisis
2016 Classic: The File
I’m “storing” my memories in the cloud. Part of the 130 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Pokémon GO & Bottle Flip Edition (2016) archive. Historically Verified
2015 Classic: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
Printing the final annual parish budget summary on eye-searing, neon-green copy paper so that no family can claim they mistook the serious multi-thousand-dollar church deficit… Read More »2015 Classic: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
2015 Archive: Lady Gaga’s “Sound of Music” Tribute
Why did everyone stop breathing? Because Lady Gaga hit notes so high that Julie Andrews literally appeared out of thin air just to give her… Read More »2015 Archive: Lady Gaga’s “Sound of Music” Tribute
2015 Legacy: The Scared Elephant
Why don’t elephants use cell phones? They’re afraid of the “trunk” calls. Part of the 57 Original Dad Jokes: The 2015 “The Dress” Edition archive.… Read More »2015 Legacy: The Scared Elephant
2014 Archive: The “Toyota” Blitzkrieg
Why did ISIS love Hiluxes? Because Toyota provides better “Tactical Support” and “Reliability” than the entire Iraqi Army’s logistics chain. Part of the 35 Military… Read More »2014 Archive: The “Toyota” Blitzkrieg
2014 Legacy: The “Joint” Intelligence in Syria
Why were we confused? Because we were supporting the rebels who were fighting the regime, but also fighting the other rebels who were ISIS, while… Read More »2014 Legacy: The “Joint” Intelligence in Syria
2014 Classic: The Tove Lo “Queen of the Clouds”
Why “Habits (Stay High)”? For the Swedish singer who made being a mess sound like the most relatable pop song of the year. Part of… Read More »2014 Classic: The Tove Lo “Queen of the Clouds”