2017 Vintage: Worst Supporting Actor
Why Mel Gibson? For a performance that felt like he was just there to pick up a check and a few extra gray hairs. Part… Read More »2017 Vintage: Worst Supporting Actor
2015 Vintage: Worst Actress Runner-up
Why Mila Kunis for Jupiter Ascending? For spending two hours falling off things while wearing a very nice dress. Part of the 37 Razzie Awards Jokes:… Read More »2015 Vintage: Worst Actress Runner-up
2015 Archive: The Revenant Bear
Leonardo DiCaprio spent two hours being cold, hungry, and attacked by a bear just to finally get that gold statue. Part of the 68 Observational… Read More »2015 Archive: The Revenant Bear
2014 Archive: The Waiting Room
The magazines are finally from 2014! There’s an article about how “Wearable tech is the future of medicine.” I’m reading it while my smart-watch tells… Read More »2014 Archive: The Waiting Room
2014 Legacy: The Frozen Sing-Along
Why did the lawyer sue the movie theater? For “inciting a public disturbance” (meaning, kids singing “Let It Go” for the 50th time). Part of… Read More »2014 Legacy: The Frozen Sing-Along
2013 Vintage: The Laura Linney Win
Why The Big C: Hereafter? Because nobody makes a terminal illness look quite so prestigious. Part of the 38 Emmy Awards Jokes: The 2013 “Breaking… Read More »2013 Vintage: The Laura Linney Win
2013 Archive: Worst Actor
Why Jaden Smith? For proving that “Earth” is a much better place when he’s not trying to save it on a movie set. Part of… Read More »2013 Archive: Worst Actor
2013 Vintage: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
I told her I’m having an adventure in my head. She said, “Adventure your way to the grocery store, we’re out of eggs.” Part of… Read More »2013 Vintage: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
2013 Vintage: The Monkey
I’m “swinging” by the app store. Part of the 118 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Frozen & Selfie Edition (2013) archive. Historically Verified
2013 Legacy: The “Winning” Strategy
Why did it change to “Advising”? Because “Winning” was too expensive and “Advising” sounds like we’re just there for the coffee. Part of the 37… Read More »2013 Legacy: The “Winning” Strategy