2009 Classic: The Dust
I’m “settling.” Part of the 199 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Avatar & Bitcoin Dawn (2009) archive. Historically Verified
2008 Vintage: The Jeremy Piven Hat-Trick
Why did Ari Gold win for the third time? Because Hollywood still loves watching someone scream at their assistant for a living. Part of the… Read More »2008 Vintage: The Jeremy Piven Hat-Trick
2007 Legacy: The Coffee To-Go
Why did the lawyer sue the sleeve on the cup? For “failing to provide a sufficient barrier against a 3rd-degree burn to his billable ego.”… Read More »2007 Legacy: The Coffee To-Go
2007 Archive: The Clock
I’m “ticking” off the hours on my phone. Part of the 177 Classic Punny One-Liners: The iPhone & Hashtag Edition (2007) archive. Historically Verified
2007 Legacy: The iPhone Prayer
A guy gets the first iPhone and calls it the “Jesus Phone.” His wife asks, “Can it perform miracles?” He says, “It already has—it’s been ten… Read More »2007 Legacy: The iPhone Prayer
2007 Classic: Kanye West vs. 50 Cent
Why did 50 Cent lose the 2007 sales war? Because the world decided that Kanye’s “Graduation” and electronic beats were cooler than “Ayo Technology” and… Read More »2007 Classic: Kanye West vs. 50 Cent
2006 Classic: The “Wicker Man” Bear Suit
Why was it a joke? Because a bear suit is the only thing that could distract from Nic Cage’s acting—and it failed. Part of the… Read More »2006 Classic: The “Wicker Man” Bear Suit
2006 Vintage: The Rachel Weisz Win
Why did she win for The Constant Gardener? To prove that being a pregnant activist in Africa is the most dramatic way to earn a… Read More »2006 Vintage: The Rachel Weisz Win
2005 Classic: The Son of the Mask
Why was it a target? Because replacing Jim Carrey with Jamie Kennedy is like replacing a Ferrari with a unicycle that has a flat tire.… Read More »2005 Classic: The Son of the Mask
2005 Archive: The Capote Voice
Why Philip Seymour Hoffman? For proving that a high-pitched voice and a scarf are the essential tools for winning an Oscar. Part of the 35… Read More »2005 Archive: The Capote Voice