2018 Vintage: The Ariana Grande (thank u, next) Fan
“One taught me love, one taught me patience, and one (the old bulb) taught me pain. Thank u, next!” Part of the 64 Light Bulb… Read More »2018 Vintage: The Ariana Grande (thank u, next) Fan
2017 Legacy: The Trash Can
I’m “recycling” puns about salt. Part of the 117 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Fidget Spinner & Switch Edition (2017) archive. Historically Verified
2017 Classic: The Egg
I’m “cracking” the code of the loot box. Part of the 117 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Fidget Spinner & Switch Edition (2017) archive. Historically Verified
2017 Classic: The Touchscreen Brute Force Routine
Pressing an index finger against a modern tablet screen with so much physical weight that the liquid crystal display visibly warps, fully convinced that a… Read More »2017 Classic: The Touchscreen Brute Force Routine
2017 Vintage: The Hallway Thermostat Lockdown
Detecting a tiny half-degree temperature change from three rooms away and immediately shouting about the rising cost of heating oil in the local market. Part… Read More »2017 Vintage: The Hallway Thermostat Lockdown
2016 Archive: The “Work” Lyrics
Rihanna is just saying “work-work-work-work-work” and I’m just “der-der-der-der-der” because I have no idea what the rest of the words are. Part of the 79… Read More »2016 Archive: The “Work” Lyrics
2016 Vintage: The Sully Landing
Tom Hanks landed a plane in a river. Again. He is the only person I want flying my plane. Part of the 79 Observational One-Liners:… Read More »2016 Vintage: The Sully Landing
2015 Classic: The 30-Second Rule
Why the loud orchestra? Because Andy Samberg had a “World’s Sexiest Emmy” bit that was running 10 minutes over. Part of the 39 Emmy Awards… Read More »2015 Classic: The 30-Second Rule
2014 Archive: The Best Adapted Screenplay
Why did 12 Years a Slave win? For turning a harrowing memoir into a cinematic masterpiece that made everyone in the room feel very, very… Read More »2014 Archive: The Best Adapted Screenplay
2014 Vintage: The “All About That Bass” Era
Why was the 2014 BBQ so “Treble-free”? Because Meghan Trainor told us that “every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top,”… Read More »2014 Vintage: The “All About That Bass” Era