2019 Classic: The “Oranges” of the Investigation
Why did he keep saying “Oranges” instead of “Origins”? To prove that in 2019, even the President’s fruit intake was part of a “Witch Hunt.”… Read More »2019 Classic: The “Oranges” of the Investigation
2017 Archive: The “Despacito” Summer
I don’t know 98% of the lyrics, but I’ve been singing “Burrito, Dorito, mosquito” for four months and nobody has corrected me yet. Part of… Read More »2017 Archive: The “Despacito” Summer
2017 Classic: The Kong
Skull Island: I told her I’m a giant ape. She said, “I know, I’ve seen you eat wings.” Part of the 62 Marriage Jokes: The 2017… Read More »2017 Classic: The Kong
2016 Vintage: The Pokémon ER
A guy rushed into the ER with a broken leg. The doctor asked how it happened. He said, “I was chasing a Snorlax and didn’t… Read More »2016 Vintage: The Pokémon ER
2016 Vintage: The Best Adapted Screenplay
Why did The Big Short win? Because Adam McKay is the only person who can use Margot Robbie in a bathtub to explain why the… Read More »2016 Vintage: The Best Adapted Screenplay
2016 Legacy: No Man’s Sky
Why was the universe so empty? Because the game promised 18 quintillion planets, but most of them just had the same rock and a very… Read More »2016 Legacy: No Man’s Sky
2016 Classic: The Passengers
“We’re alone on a spaceship!” “That sounds like a dream vacation compared to a Saturday at the mall.” Part of the 52 Adult Jokes: The 2016 “Gotta… Read More »2016 Classic: The Passengers
2016 Legacy: The “Admiral Kuznetsov” Voyage
Why did everyone see the Russian carrier coming? Because it burned so much heavy oil that its “Stealth Signature” was a 500-mile-long black smoke cloud… Read More »2016 Legacy: The “Admiral Kuznetsov” Voyage
2016 Archive: The Sunday Coupon Swap
A small group of senior citizens occupying the back row twenty minutes before the service to rapidly trade newspaper inserts, hoarding discounts on canned vegetables.… Read More »2016 Archive: The Sunday Coupon Swap
2016 Vintage: The Number
I’m “counting” my steps for an incubator. Part of the 130 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Pokémon GO & Bottle Flip Edition (2016) archive. Historically Verified