2016 Vintage: The Fantastic Beasts Suitcase
Eddie Redmayne has a zoo in his luggage. I can barely fit my gym clothes in mine. Part of the 79 Observational One-Liners: The 2016… Read More »2016 Vintage: The Fantastic Beasts Suitcase
2016 Archive: The Damn Daniel Look
Why did the boss say “Damn, Daniel!” to the accountant? Because the accountant wore white sneakers on Casual Friday and the boss is three months… Read More »2016 Archive: The Damn Daniel Look
2016 Vintage: The “Collateral Beauty” Logic
Why Will Smith? For a movie about writing letters to “Love, Time, and Death” that was as pretentious as it was nonsensical. Part of the… Read More »2016 Vintage: The “Collateral Beauty” Logic
2016 Vintage: Trolls
Why was the hair so tall? Because Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick made “happiness” a neon-colored musical that stayed in our heads until March. Part… Read More »2016 Vintage: Trolls
2015 Classic: The Heavy Textbook Strain
Carrying three separate six-pound hardcover manuals because the school board still refused to invest in digital tablet alternatives. Part of the 35 School & Teacher… Read More »2015 Classic: The Heavy Textbook Strain
2015 Archive: The Tech Support
What did the lawyer say to the IT guy? “Can you make my Apple Watch vibrate every time the client tells a lie?” Part of… Read More »2015 Archive: The Tech Support
2015 Classic: The Netflix and Chill
A guy asks a girl, “Want to come over for some Netflix and chill?” She says, “I’d rather stay here and ‘Whiskey and actually talk’.”… Read More »2015 Classic: The Netflix and Chill
2014 Classic: The Interstellar Pilot
None. They just go into a black hole and communicate the light bulb’s location to their daughter through a bookshelf using gravity. Part of the… Read More »2014 Classic: The Interstellar Pilot
2014 Legacy: The Rosetta Comet Landing
Why was the tech guy so proud? Because humanity landed a probe on a comet, and he finally managed to “land” a signal on the… Read More »2014 Legacy: The Rosetta Comet Landing
2013 Legacy: The Garlic
I’m “breath-taking” in my high-res selfie. Part of the 118 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Frozen & Selfie Edition (2013) archive. Historically Verified