2014 Archive: The Wild Movie
She wants to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. I reminded her she got a blister walking from the car to the Nordstrom entrance. Part of… Read More »2014 Archive: The Wild Movie
2013 Vintage: The GTA V Release
Why did the lawyer represent the protagonist in GTA V? He argued that “restarting the mission” was a valid form of double jeopardy protection. Part… Read More »2013 Vintage: The GTA V Release
2013 Legacy: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
Printing the final annual parish budget summary on eye-searing, neon-green copy paper so that no family can claim they mistook the serious multi-thousand-dollar church deficit… Read More »2013 Legacy: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
2013 Vintage: The Dogecoin
A guy tries to pay with a picture of a Shiba Inu. The bartender says, “Much wow. Very no. Give me real money.” Part of… Read More »2013 Vintage: The Dogecoin
2013 Legacy: The Christoph Waltz Double
Why did he win another Supporting Oscar? Because Quentin Tarantino is the only director who can make a German dentist/bounty hunter sound like the most… Read More »2013 Legacy: The Christoph Waltz Double
2012 Vintage: The Diamond Jubilee
Why was the UK celebrating 60 years of the Queen? To remind everyone that Prime Ministers come and go, but the lady in the bright… Read More »2012 Vintage: The Diamond Jubilee
2012 Classic: The Pizza
She told the pizza guy his car was “an insult to the neighborhood’s aesthetic.” Part of the 59 Mother-in-Law Jokes: The 2012 “End of the… Read More »2012 Classic: The Pizza
2012 Classic: Mario Balotelli vs. Germany
Why did Mario take his shirt off in the Euro semi-final? To show off his muscles and the fact that when he’s in the mood,… Read More »2012 Classic: Mario Balotelli vs. Germany
2011 Legacy: The Flip Phone snapping
She finally got an iPhone 4S. She says she misses the “snap,” so she just snaps her fingers at me instead. Part of the 61… Read More »2011 Legacy: The Flip Phone snapping
2010 Classic: Vuvuzelas
Why was the 2010 World Cup over, but the sound remained? Because someone brought a plastic horn from South Africa and buzzed it every time… Read More »2010 Classic: Vuvuzelas