1998 Archive: The Half-Life Fear
I played a game where a scientist hits aliens with a crowbar, and now I never look at a ventilation shaft the same way. Part… Read More »1998 Archive: The Half-Life Fear
1997 Legacy: Worst New Star
Why “The Animatronic Anaconda”? Because it gave a more nuanced performance than half the human cast. Part of the 35 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 1997… Read More »1997 Legacy: Worst New Star
1996 Archive: Worst Original Song
Why “Pussy, Pussy, Pussy (Whose Kitty Cat Are You?)”? Because the title alone is a Razzie nomination waiting to happen. Part of the 38 Razzie… Read More »1996 Archive: Worst Original Song
1996 Legacy: Aleksander Kwaśniewski
Why was the Polish President the star of Eastern Europe? Because he proved you could be a post-Communist who spoke English, wore tracksuits, and made… Read More »1996 Legacy: Aleksander Kwaśniewski
1996 Legacy: The Corporate Retreat
Why did they go to the woods? To see if they could survive without a dial-up connection. Part of the 68 Office Groaners: The 1996… Read More »1996 Legacy: The Corporate Retreat
1996 Classic: The “Braveheart” Leftovers
Why did Grandpa keep shouting “Freedom!”? Because he won the 1996 Best Picture bet and felt like William Wallace in a Hawaiian shirt. Part of… Read More »1996 Classic: The “Braveheart” Leftovers
1995 Vintage: Worst Remake Runner-up
Why Village of the Damned? Because the only people truly damned were the ones who bought tickets. Part of the 34 Razzie Awards Jokes: The… Read More »1995 Vintage: Worst Remake Runner-up
1995 Classic: Winamp (Beta)
Why did it “whip the llama’s ass”? Because it was the only way to play those 3MB MP3 files you spent 6 hours downloading. Part… Read More »1995 Classic: Winamp (Beta)
1995 Archive: The Cold
“Doctor, I have a cold.” “Take some orange juice and rest.” “But my friend said I should take antibiotics.” “Then go see your friend, he… Read More »1995 Archive: The Cold
1995 Classic: The Greg Norman
Why was the golfer so nervous on Sundays? Because he was the “Great White Shark,” but the final round was his personal “Jaws” movie where… Read More »1995 Classic: The Greg Norman