54 Classic Blonde Jokes: The 1997 Retro Edition

Welcome to 1997 – the year of the Spice Girls, the tragic loss of Princess Diana, and the launch of Google.com (Beta). While the world was obsessed with Tamagotchis and the “Titanic” movie, these jokes were being forwarded through early Yahoo! Mail accounts.

The 1997 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Titanic: Why did the blonde bring a snorkel to the movie theater? She heard the movie “Titanic” was very “deep.”
The Barbie Girl: Why did the blonde think the song “Barbie Girl” was her national anthem? Because it described her “plastic” lifestyle perfectly.
The Google Beta: Why did the blonde search for “Google” on Google? She wanted to see if the internet could find itself.
The Harry Potter: Why did the blonde try to walk through the wall at the train station? She thought she was going to Hogwarts with Harry Potter.
The Tamagotchi: Why did the blonde bury her computer? Her digital pet died and she wanted to give it a “hard drive” funeral.
The Men in Black: Why did the blonde wear sunglasses at night? She thought the “Men in Black” were coming to flash her with a neuralyzer.
The Teletubbies: Why did the blonde stare at the Teletubby’s stomach? She was waiting for the “commercials” to start.
The Mars Pathfinder: Why did the blonde try to mail a letter to Mars? She heard the “Pathfinder” was making deliveries.
The Deep Blue: Why did the blonde think she could beat a computer at chess? She heard Garry Kasparov lost, so she thought the computer was “tired.”
The Spice Girls: Why did the blonde put ginger, cinnamon, and pepper on her radio? She wanted to hear the Spice Girls.

The Full 1997 Archive (Extended List)

11. The DVD: Why did the blonde try to put a DVD in her VCR? She heard it was a “high-quality” upgrade.
12. The Email: Why did the blonde keep her computer in the freezer? She wanted to receive “cool” mail.
13. The Laptop: Why did the blonde use a laptop as a pillow? She wanted to have “digital” dreams.
14. The Nokia: Why did the blonde throw her Nokia 5110 at the wall? She was playing “Snake” and got frustrated.
15. The Chat Room: Why did the blonde bring a chair to the internet? She heard there were “chat rooms” and didn’t want to stand.
16. The Website: Why did the blonde put spider webs on her computer? She wanted to build her first “website.”
17. The Mouse: Why did the blonde give her mouse a piece of cheese? She thought it was “hungry” for data.
18. The Keyboard: Why did the blonde remove the “Esc” key? She didn’t want to “escape” her responsibilities.
19. The Monitor: Why did the blonde put sunglasses on her monitor? She said the “Windows” were too bright.
20. The CD-ROM: Why did the blonde think a CD-ROM was a drink? Because it said “Read Only” and she thought it meant “Red Only” (like juice).
21. The Scanner: Why did the blonde sit on the scanner? She wanted to send her “bottom” line to the boss.
22. The Printer: Why did the blonde put money in the printer? She wanted to “print” more cash.
23. The Password: Why did the blonde use “MickeyMinnieDonaldDaisy” as her password? She heard it had to be at least four characters.
24. The Screen Saver: Why did the blonde stare at the screen saver for 3 hours? She thought it was a “silent” movie.
25. The Hacker: Why did the blonde think she was a hacker? She learned how to “cut and paste.”
26. The Browser: Why did the blonde look for a life jacket before opening Netscape? She was afraid of “surfing” the big waves.
27. The Desktop: Why did the blonde put a tablecloth on her computer? She wanted a “fancy” desktop.
28. The Folder: Why did the blonde put a real folder on her screen? She wanted to “save” her files.
29. The Icon: Why did the blonde pray to her computer? She saw “icons” on the screen.
30. The Link: Why did the blonde bring a chain to the computer? She heard there were “broken links.”
31. The Virus: Why did the blonde give her computer a glass of orange juice? She heard it had a “virus” and needed Vitamin C.
32. The Disk: Why did the blonde use her floppy disk as a frisbee? She wanted to “transfer” data to her friend.
33. The Search: Why did the blonde use a flashlight to find a file? She heard it was “hidden” in a dark folder.
34. The Scroll: Why did the blonde bring an ancient parchment to the computer? She heard she needed to “scroll” down.
35. The Font: Why did the blonde change her font to “Bold”? She wanted her computer to be “stronger.”
36. The Port: Why did the blonde bring a boat to her computer? She heard it had a “USB port.”
37. The Bit: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to see how many “bits” it had.
38. The Chip: Why did the blonde put potato chips in her computer? She heard it needed more “microchips.”
39. The Fan: Why did the blonde cheer for her computer? She heard it had a “cooling fan.”
40. The RAM: Why did the blonde bring a goat to the office? She heard the computer needed more “RAM.”
41. The Hard Drive: Why did the blonde take her computer on a 10-mile road trip? She wanted to give it a “hard drive.”
42. The Firewall: Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the computer? She heard it had a “firewall.”
43. The Buffer: Why did the blonde bring a polishing cloth? She heard the video was “buffering.”
44. The Cookies: Why did the blonde look inside her computer? She was looking for the “cookies” the website promised her.
45. The Crash: Why did the blonde call an ambulance? Her computer “crashed.”
46. The Java: Why did the blonde pour coffee on her keyboard? She wanted to run a “Java” script.
47. The Bug: Why did the blonde use bug spray on her screen? She heard there was a “software bug.”
48. The Bookmark: Why did the blonde put a piece of ribbon in her computer? She wanted to “bookmark” a page.
49. The Wallpaper: Why did the blonde buy rolls of paper at the hardware store? She wanted to change her “desktop wallpaper.”
50. The Refresh: Why did the blonde spray her face with water? She clicked “Refresh” on the browser.
51. The Zip: Why did the blonde try to zip up her computer case? She wanted to “compress” her files.
52. The Trash: Why did the blonde throw her monitor away? She was told to “empty the trash.”
53. The Menu: Why did the blonde ask her computer for a steak? She saw a “start menu.”
54. The End: Why did the blonde think 1997 was a “sinking” year? Because she watched Titanic five times and cried every time!