43 Classic Blonde Jokes: The 2009 Archive

The 2009 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The FarmVille Obsession: Why did the blonde try to put a real tractor in her living room? She heard her “FarmVille” crops were dying and thought she needed to plow the carpet.
2. The Bitcoin Launch: Why did the blonde try to mine for Bitcoins in her backyard with a shovel? She heard they were “mined” and worth a fortune, but she couldn’t find the “digital” dirt.
3. The Avatar 3D: Why did the blonde try to paint herself blue before going to the cinema? She wanted to make sure she was “backwards compatible” with the 3D world of Pandora.
4. The Twitter Limit: Why did the blonde try to count her words on a piece of paper? She heard “Twitter” only allowed 140 characters and she didn’t want to get arrested for a long sentence.
5. The Unfriending: Why did the blonde cry when her computer crashed? She thought “unfriending” someone on Facebook meant they were physically deleted from the world.
6. The Angry Birds: Why did the blonde throw her iPhone at a pigeon? She was playing “Angry Birds” and thought the real ones were the bonus level.
7. The Windows 7 Launch: Why did the blonde think Windows 7 was a sequel to a movie? She was waiting for Windows 1 through 6 to come out on DVD first.
8. The Kindle 2: Why did the blonde try to “pinch” her physical book to zoom in? She had been using her new Kindle all day and forgot how paper worked.
9. The Lady Gaga: Why did the blonde wear a meat suit to the grocery store? She heard Lady Gaga was the new “fashion icon” and wanted to look “well-done.”
10. The Uber Concept: Why did the blonde think everyone was a taxi driver? She heard about a new thing called “Uber” and started hopping into random people’s cars with a ten-dollar bill.

The Full 2009 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Mouse: Why did the blonde give her mouse a piece of cheese? She thought it was “hungry” for more gigabytes.
12. The Keyboard: Why did the blonde put a bandage on her keyboard? She heard she had a “dead” key.
13. The Monitor: Why did the blonde put sunglasses on her monitor? She said the “Windows” were too bright today.
14. The Printer: Why did the blonde put a mirror in front of the printer? She wanted to see a “double” printout.
15. The Scanner: Why did the blonde put a picture of her face on the scanner? She wanted to “face” her digital problems.
16. The Email: Why did the blonde keep her computer in the freezer? She was waiting for “cool” mail.
17. The Password: Why did the blonde change her password to “Incorrect”? Because the computer kept telling her the old one was “incorrect.”
18. The Desktop: Why did the blonde put a glass of water on her desktop? She wanted to see the “liquid” in the LCD screen.
19. The Icon: Why did the blonde think her computer was a church? It had so many “icons” on the screen.
20. The Folder: Why did the blonde put a real folder on her monitor? She wanted to “organize” her desktop files.
21. The Link: Why did the blonde bring a chain to the computer? She heard there were “broken links.”
22. The Virus: Why did the blonde give her computer a glass of orange juice? She heard there was a “new virus” going around.
23. The CD: Why did the blonde use her CD as a frisbee? She wanted to “transfer” data to her friend across the street.
24. The Search: Why did the blonde use a magnifying glass on her screen? She was “searching” for the home page.
25. The Scroll: Why did the blonde bring a rolling pin to the computer? She heard she needed to “scroll” down the page.
26. The Font: Why did the blonde change her font to “Arial”? She wanted her text to have “more air.”
27. The Port: Why did the blonde bring a suitcase to her computer? She heard it had a “USB port.”
28. The Bit: Why did the blonde bite her computer? She wanted to see if it had 32 “bits.”
29. The Chip: Why did the blonde put a potato chip in her computer? She heard it needed a “microchip.”
30. The Fan: Why did the blonde bring a pom-pom to her computer? She wanted to be a “fan” of the cooling system.
31. The RAM: Why did the blonde bring a sheep to the office? She heard the computer needed more “RAM” for the new software.
32. The Hard Drive: Why did the blonde take her computer for a long walk? She wanted to give it a “hard drive.”
33. The Firewall: Why did the blonde bring a fire extinguisher to the computer? She heard it had a “firewall.”
34. The Buffer: Why did the blonde bring a car wax? She heard the video was “buffering.”
35. The Cookies: Why did the blonde look inside her computer? She was looking for the “cookies” the websites promised her.
36. The Crash: Why did the blonde call a tow truck? Her computer “crashed” on the information highway.
37. The Java: Why did the blonde pour coffee on her mouse? She wanted to use “Java.”
38. The Bug: Why did the blonde use bug spray on her screen? She heard there was a “software bug.”
39. The Bookmark: Why did the blonde put a post-it note on her monitor? She wanted to “bookmark” a site.
40. The Refresh: Why did the blonde splash water on her face? She clicked “Refresh” on her browser.
41. The Smartphone GPS: Why did the blonde argue with her phone? It told her to “turn right” and she said she wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.
42. The App Store: Why did the blonde try to buy a real bridge on her iPhone? She heard there was an “App” for everything.
43. The End: Why did the blonde think 2009 was the “blue” year? Because she spent the whole time staring at “Avatar” and her Facebook feed!