51 Classic Knock-Knock Jokes: The 1995 Retro Edition

In 1995, before we had instant messaging, we had the door. Knock-knock jokes were the original “pop-up notifications” of the 90s. Whether told through a screen door or during a long car ride without a Game Boy, these were the rhythmic staples of every dad’s comedy routine. Here is the definitive 1995 archive of the “Who’s there?” era.

The 1995 Top 10: Door-to-Door Classics

The Tank: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Tank. / Tank who? / You’re welcome!
The Cow: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Cow says. / Cow says who? / No, a cow says mooooo!
The Lettuce: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Lettuce. / Lettuce who? / Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
The Nobel: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Nobel. / Nobel who? / No bell, that’s why I knocked!
The Etch: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Etch. / Etch who? / Bless you!
The Little Old Lady: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Little old lady. / Little old lady who? / I didn’t know you could yodel!
The Boo: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Boo. / Boo who? / Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
The Harry: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Harry. / Harry who? / Harry up and answer the door!
The Europe: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Europe. / Europe who? / No, YOU’RE a poo!
The Interrupting Cow: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Interrupting cow. / Interrupting cow wh— / MOOOO!

The Full 1995 Archive (Extended List)

The Wooden: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Wooden shoe. / Wooden shoe who? / Wooden shoe like to know!
The Alex: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Alex. / Alex who? / Alex-plain everything when you open the door!
The Annie: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Annie. / Annie who? / Annie body home?
The Justin: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Justin. / Justin who? / Justin time for dinner!
The Dwayne: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Dwayne. / Dwayne who? / Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!
The Ice Cream: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Ice cream. / Ice cream who? / Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
The Honeydew: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Honeydew. / Honeydew who? / Honeydew you know how handsome I am?
The Doris: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Doris. / Doris who? / Doris locked, let me in!
The Leaf: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Leaf. / Leaf who? / Leaf me alone!
The Canoe: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Canoe. / Canoe who? / Canoe help me with my homework?
The Police: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Police. / Police who? / Police let me in, it’s raining!
The Amos: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Amos. / Amos who? / A mosquito bit me!
The Dishes: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Dishes. / Dishes who? / Dishes a nice place you got here!
The Anita: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Anita. / Anita who? / Anita borrow a pencil!
The Hatch: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Hatch. / Hatch who? / Bless you again!
The Shore: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Shore. / Shore who? / Shore hope you like these jokes!
The Otto: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Otto. / Otto who? / Otto know, I forgot my name!
The Needle: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Needle. / Needle who? / Needle little help over here!
The Robin: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Robin. / Robin who? / Robin you! Hand over the cookies!
The Luke: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Luke. / Luke who? / Luke through the keyhole and see!
The Mustache: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Mustache. / Mustache who? / I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!
The Theodore: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Theodore. / Theodore who? / Theodore is stuck, open it!
The Cargo: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Cargo. / Cargo who? / Cargo “Beep beep,” but a car doesn’t knock!
The Ketchup: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Ketchup. / Ketchup who? / Ketchup with me if you can!
The Mikey: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Mikey. / Mikey who? / Mikey is lost, can you help me find it?
The Ken: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Ken. / Ken who? / Ken I come in?
The Ida: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Ida. / Ida who? / Ida like to be your friend!
The Alpine: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Alpine. / Alpine who? / Alpine for you if you leave!
The Wendy: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Wendy. / Wendy who? / Wendy wind blows, the door slams!
The Hugo: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Hugo. / Hugo who? / Hugo your way, I’ll go mine!
The Ivana: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Ivana. / Ivana who? / Ivana drink of water!
The Ben: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Ben. / Ben who? / Ben knocking for an hour!
The Orange: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Orange. / Orange who? / Orange you going to answer the door?
The Banana: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Banana. / Banana who? / Knock, knock. (Repeat 3 times).
The Orange (Again): Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Orange. / Orange who? / Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?
The Abbot: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Abbot. / Abbot who? / Abbot time you opened up!
The Gladys: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Gladys. / Gladys who? / Gladys the weekend is here!
The Isabel: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Isabel. / Isabel who? / Isabel necessary on a door that knocks?
The Noah: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Noah. / Noah who? / Noah good place to eat?
The Harry (Again): Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Harry. / Harry who? / Harry up, I’m getting tired of standing!
The Open: Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Open. / Open who? / Open the door and find out!