38 Celebrity Jokes: The 2009 “I’mma Let You Finish” Edition

In 2009, we lived through the end of an era and the start of a digital revolution. It was the year we went to Pandora, watched Kanye take the mic from Taylor, and realized that “Bad Romance” was more than just a song—it was a fashion statement involving meat and 10-inch heels.

The 2009 Top 10: The “VMA Drama & Blue Giants” Classics

1. Kanye West & Taylor Swift: Why did Kanye walk onto the VMA stage in 2009? Because he wanted to make sure Taylor knew she had a great video, but he also wanted to remind the world that he’s the only person who can turn a “Congratulations” into a “Yo, hold up.”
2. James Cameron (Avatar): Why did we all wear 3D glasses in 2009? Because James Cameron spent 10 years and $300 million to prove that we would all pay to watch 10-foot-tall blue cat people protect a very expensive tree.
3. Lady Gaga (Bad Romance): Why was Gaga’s 2009 so busy? Because between the lobster claws, the Alexander McQueen heels, and the blood-stained VMA performance, she was the only person making the rest of the world look like they were still dressed for 2005.
4. Michael Jackson: Why did the world stop in June 2009? Because the King of Pop took his final moonwalk, proving that even in a digital age, some legends are truly irreplaceable.
5. The Hangover: Why did everyone wake up with a tiger in their bathroom in 2009? Because Todd Phillips proved that a missing tooth, Mike Tyson, and a baby in a carrier were the only ingredients needed for the greatest bachelor party disaster in history.
6. The Twilight Saga (New Moon): Why was 2009 the year of “Team Jacob”? Because Taylor Lautner spent 6 months in the gym just to prove that being a werewolf is 10% howling and 90% refusing to wear a shirt.
7. Susan Boyle: Why did Britain’s Got Talent break the internet? Because in 2009, a lady with a dream and a voice like an angel taught us that you should never judge a book by its cover, especially on a reality show.
8. The iPhone 3GS: Why was “S” for speed? Because in 2009, we were so excited that our phones could finally record video, unaware that we were about to spend the next 15 years filming our lunch.
9. Justin Bieber: Why was every girl under 14 screaming? Because a kid with a purple hoodie and a “swish” haircut arrived from YouTube to tell us that “One Time” was all he needed to start a global fever.
10. The Jersey Shore: Why were we “GTL-ing” in 2009? Because Snooki and The Situation proved that Gym, Tan, and Laundry were the only three things you needed to survive a summer in a house full of hairspray.

The Full 2009 Celebrity Jokes Archive

11. Britney Spears (The Circus Tour): Why was she in a ringmaster outfit? Because in 2009, Britney reminded us that despite the chaos, she was still the one running the show.
12. The Black Eyed Peas (I Gotta Feeling): Why was this song playing at every single wedding? Because in 2009, it was legally required to believe that “tonight’s gonna be a good night,” even if you were just at a dentist’s office.
13. Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side): Why was she so tough? Because in 2009, she proved that a blonde wig and a fierce attitude could win you an Oscar and protect a future NFL star at the same time.
14. Glee Premiere: Why was everyone singing Journey? Because in 2009, Ryan Murphy convinced us that high school is just one giant mash-up and that everyone has a solo in them.
15. Modern Family: Why were we watching a documentary about three families? Because in 2009, Phil Dunphy proved that “high-fiving a bird” was the peak of fatherhood.
16. Tiger Woods: Why was his car in a tree? Because in 2009, we learned that a 3-iron isn’t just for golf—it’s also for domestic disputes involving a Thanksgiving dinner.
17. Harry Potter (Half-Blood Prince): Why was it so dark? Because in 2009, the series realized that things were getting serious and that Dumbledore’s secrets were heavier than a stack of textbooks.
18. Jay-Z & Alicia Keys (Empire State of Mind): Why was everyone in New York so proud? Because in 2009, they gave us an anthem that made even people in Nebraska feel like they were standing in the middle of Times Square.
19. Up: Why was there a house flying with balloons? Because in 2009, Pixar decided that the first 10 minutes of a movie should make every adult on Earth cry uncontrollably.
20. Miley Cyrus (Party in the U.S.A.): Why were her hands up? Because in 2009, she heard her song and realized that she wasn’t in Tennessee anymore, but she was definitely a pop icon.
21. Inglourious Basterds: Why was Brad Pitt’s accent so thick? Because in 2009, Christoph Waltz proved that being a villain is 90% politeness and 10% drinking a glass of milk.
22. Kesha (TiK ToK): Why was she brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels? Because in 2009, she arrived to tell us that the party doesn’t start until she walks in, and she’s probably wearing glitter.
23. Star Trek (Reboot): Why was Chris Pine so young? Because in 2009, J.J. Abrams decided that the best way to save the galaxy was with lens flares and a very attractive crew.
24. He’s Just Not That Into You: Why was this movie so popular? Because in 2009, we needed a 2-hour reminder that if he doesn’t call, it’s probably not because he lost his phone.
25. Parks and Recreation: Why was Amy Poehler so happy? Because in 2009, Leslie Knope proved that a binder and a dream can turn a giant hole into a park (eventually).
26. District 9: Why were the aliens living in shacks? Because in 2009, we learned that “Prawns” have rights too, even if they just want to eat cat food.
27. Rihanna (Rated R): Why was she so edgy? Because in 2009, Rihanna traded the umbrella for barbed wire and proved that she was “Hard” enough to handle anything.
28. Zombieland: Why were there rules? Because in 2009, Jesse Eisenberg taught us that “cardio” and “double tapping” are the only ways to survive a clown zombie.
29. The Proposal: Why was Sandra Bullock in Alaska? Because in 2009, she realized that the only way to avoid deportation was to dance with Betty White in the woods.
30. Drake (So Far Gone): Why was everyone “Best I Ever Had”-ing? Because in 2009, a guy from a Canadian teen drama proved that you can rap and be emotional at the same time.
31. Slumdog Millionaire (Oscars): Why did it sweep? Because in 2009, we all wanted to believe that destiny is the ultimate “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” answer.
32. Kelly Clarkson (My Life Would Suck Without You): Why was she back? Because in 2009, she broke the record for the biggest jump to #1, proving our lives really would suck without her high notes.
33. The Vampire Diaries: Why were there more vampires on TV? Because in 2009, we couldn’t get enough of brothers fighting over the same girl in a town full of secrets.
34. Sherlock Holmes (RDJ): Why was he boxing? Because in 2009, Guy Ritchie decided that being a genius detective meant you also had to be a Victorian MMA fighter.
35. The Princess and the Frog: Why was it 2D? Because in 2009, Disney wanted to remind us that a jazz-playing alligator and a New Orleans dream never go out of style.
36. Angry Birds Launch: Why were we throwing birds at pigs? Because in 2009, we realized that our touchscreens were perfect for digital slingshots during our morning commute.
37. Bruno: Why was Sacha Baron Cohen in a Velcro suit? Because in 2009, he wanted to see if the fashion world was as ridiculous as he was (it was).
38. The Year 2009: Why did it end? Because we were all too busy trying to figure out “Inception” theories a year early and watching “Charlie Bit My Finger” for the 100th time.