36 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2024 “Brat Summer & Apple Intelligence” Edition

In 2024, Thanksgiving was about being “very demure,” dodging “Skibidi” slang at the kids’ table, and wondering if Kendrick Lamar was going to drop a diss track about the stuffing.

The 2024 Top 10: “Brat Green & Very Demure”

1. Brat Summer: Why was the 2024 turkey served on a neon green platter? Because everything this year was “Brat,” and if the stuffing didn’t have a messy, 365-party-girl vibe, Charli XCX wouldn’t approve.
2. Very Demure, Very Mindful: Why was Mom serving the rolls so gracefully? Because she wasn’t just being polite—she was being “very demure, very mindful,” and making sure the gravy was “very cutesy” for the guests.
3. The Drake vs. Kendrick Beef: Why was the dinner so tense? Because the cousins spent three hours analyzing “Not Like Us,” and Dad was terrified that if he overcooked the bird, Kendrick would release a 6-minute diss track about his kitchen skills.
4. Apple Intelligence: Why was Dad’s phone writing the “Thank You” notes? Because he got the iPhone 16 and let the AI handle the emotions, resulting in a toast that was “technically heartfelt but 100% generated by a silicon chip.”
5. Skibidi Toilet: Why were the adults so confused? Because the kids kept calling the turkey “Skibidi” and talking about “Ohio Rizz,” and for the first time in history, the 30-year-olds felt like they were 100 years old.
6. The Stanley Cup (Still): Why was the table 80% metal cylinders? Because the obsession with giant tumblers didn’t die, and now even the toddlers were hydrated enough to survive a week in the Sahara.
7. Dune: Part Two: Why was the mashed potatoes shaped like a giant worm? Because after the sequel, everyone was a “Lisan al-Gaib” of the dining room, and Dad tried to ride the vacuum cleaner like a Shai-Hulud.
8. The Eclipse 2.0: Why were we wearing sunglasses in April? Because the path of totality crossed the backyard, and for four minutes, the only thing more famous than the turkey was the moon blocking the sun.
9. Inside Out 2: Why was the dinner an emotional disaster? Because Pixar introduced “Anxiety” as a character, and she was currently the one in charge of making sure the rolls didn’t burn.
10. Hawk Tuah: Why did the uncle get kicked out of the kitchen? Because he tried to use a viral meme catchphrase to explain his “secret technique” for making the turkey moist, and nobody wanted to hear it.

The Full 2024 Archive (Highlights)

11. Deadpool & Wolverine: Why was the carving so “dynamic”? Because Hugh Jackman came back, and Dad spent the meal doing a “snikt” sound with the knives while wearing a yellow apron.
12. The Paris Olympics: Why was the centerpiece a tiny Eiffel Tower? Because after the summer games, we all felt like “Raygun” the breakdancer—completely confused but happy to be participating.
13. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice: Why did nobody say the turkey’s name three times? Because they didn’t want the bird to come back to life and start singing Harry Belafonte songs in the middle of the table.
14. The “Man vs. Bear” Debate: Why was the conversation so philosophical? Because the internet asked women if they’d rather be in the woods with a bear or a man, and Aunt Susan said she’d choose the bear because “at least the bear doesn’t explain football rules to her.”
15. Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso”: Why was everyone so caffeinated? Because “that’s that me espresso,” and the aunts were working late ’cause they’re singers (of holiday carols).
16. The “Looking for a Man in Finance” Song: Why was the niece checking LinkedIn? Because she was looking for a guy in finance, 6’5″, blue eyes… but she’d settle for anyone who could help her carry the groceries.
17. House of the Dragon Season 2: Why was the table split in two? Because half the family was “Team Black” and the other was “Team Green,” and the “Blood and Cheese” incident was the only way to describe the appetizer tray.
18. The Fallout (TV Show): Why was the basement full of canned goods? Because the show was a hit, and Dad was “Roleplaying” a Vault-Dweller just in case the cranberry sauce was radioactive.
19. Twisters: Why were we afraid of the ceiling fan? Because Glen Powell made chasing storms look so cool that Dad wanted to “tame” the steam rising from the gravy.
20. Challengers: Why was the seating chart so dramatic? Because the movie made a “love triangle” over a tennis match feel like a life-or-death situation, and now nobody knew who was “serving” whom.
21. The Rabbit R1 & Humane Pin Fail: Why was the tech-uncle so quiet? Because he spent $700 on a “smart pin” that told him the turkey was a “brown cat,” and he was currently questioning his life choices.
22. Shogun: Why was the dinner so honorable? Because the show taught us that “Fate is a dish served cold,” but the turkey should definitely be served hot.
23. The “JoJo Siwa Rebrand”: Why was the niece wearing black glitter and acting “dark”? Because she was in her “Karma” era, which meant she was a “bad girl” who still did her homework.
24. Gladiator II: Why was the carving so epic? Because Paul Mescal inspired Dad to shout, “What we do in the kitchen echoes in eternity!”
25. The Nintendo Alarmo: Why was the whole house waking up to Mario sounds? Because Nintendo released a $100 alarm clock, and now “Super Mario Odyssey” music was the only way to signal the rolls were done.
26. Wicked (The Movie Hype): Why were the rolls green? Because everyone was “Defying Gravity” (and common sense) by getting ready for the Elphaba vs. Glinda showdown.
27. The “Moo Deng” Hippo: Why was everyone obsessed with a small, sweaty hippo from Thailand? Because “Moo Deng” was the only thing on the internet that made us feel pure joy in 2024.
28. The Joker 2 Musical: Why was the mood so… singing-heavy? Because the sequel was a musical, and the cousins were doing a “bad duet” while trying to decide who got the last piece of pie.
29. The Apple Vision Pro: Why was the cousin “pinching” the air? Because he was wearing a $3,500 headset and “watching a movie” while technically being at the dinner table.
30. Baby Reindeer: Why was the “creepy” aunt sending so many emails? Because the show was a phenomenon, and now every “Sent from my iPhone” message felt like a threat.
31. The “North West at the Lion King” Drama: Why was the nephew “nepotism-ing” his way into the best seat? Because he claimed he had the “talent” to sit at the adults’ table even though he couldn’t cut his own meat.
32. The “Pesto” King Penguin: Why were we comparing Grandpa to a giant baby bird? Because “Pesto” was the big, fluffy penguin of the year, and Grandpa was also big, fluffy, and required constant feeding.
33. The Bluey “The Sign” Episode: Why were all the parents crying? Because a 28-minute cartoon about a house sale broke their hearts more than the actual real estate market.
34. The “Underconsumption Core” Trend: Why were there so few dishes? Because the internet decided that “having only what you need” was a flex, and we were “low-key” about our leftover storage.
35. The Boeing Starliner: Why was the dinner “extended”? Because like the astronauts on the ISS, the turkey was supposed to be in and out, but it ended up “staying much longer than expected” due to technical difficulties.
36. The Final 2024 Vibe: Why was it a “Brat” year? Because even if the turkey was messy and the family was complicated, we were still “Bumpin’ that” and thankful for the chaos.