36 Miscellaneous Jokes: The 2015 “Golden-Blue & Force Awakens” Edition

In 2015, the internet proved that we can’t even agree on what color a piece of fabric is, let alone anything else. It was the year we finally saw Pluto up close (and it had a heart!), watched the Millennium Falcon fly again, and started wondering if we really needed to charge our watches every night. We were living in a world of “Hypebeasts,” “Dabbing,” and the realization that a hoverboard doesn’t actually hover—it just catches fire occasionally.

The 2015 Top 10: The “Dress & Force” Classics

1. The Dress (White and Gold or Blue and Black?): Why did the world stop for 24 hours? Because a single photo of a striped dress caused a global existential crisis, proving that human vision is a lie and that your best friend is probably seeing a different reality than you.
2. The Apple Watch Launch: Why were we all tapping our wrists? Because Tim Cook convinced us that reaching for our iPhones was too much work, and that we needed a tiny screen to tell us to stand up every hour.
3. Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Why was everyone screaming “Chewie, we’re home”? Because J.J. Abrams brought back the original trio and a rolling ball named BB-8, proving that nostalgia is the most powerful fuel in the galaxy.
4. The New Horizons Pluto Flyby: Why did Pluto have a heart? Because after a 9-year journey, NASA finally got a high-res photo of the “non-planet,” revealing a giant heart-shaped glacier and making us all feel guilty for demoting it in 2006.
5. The “Hoverboard” Craze: Why weren’t they hovering? Because 2015 gave us two-wheeled self-balancing boards that were 10% transportation and 90% fire hazard, leading to them being banned from every airport on Earth.
6. The Launch of Apple Music: Why was there another music app? Because Apple decided that “buying” songs was officially dead and that we should all pay $9.99 a month to listen to Taylor Swift’s 1989 on repeat.
7. The “Left Shark” Super Bowl: Why was the shark dancing out of sync? Because during Katy Perry’s halftime show, a backup dancer in a shark suit forgot the choreography and became the patron saint of anyone who has no idea what they’re doing at work.
8. The Launch of Windows 10: Why was it “The Last Windows”? Because Microsoft skipped version 9 and gave us a free upgrade, finally bringing back the Start menu and promising us that they’d never make us change systems again (spoiler: they lied).
9. Mad Max: Fury Road: Why was it so shiny and chrome? Because George Lucas… wait, George Miller… showed us that you can make a two-hour car chase into a cinematic masterpiece with a guy playing a flamethrower guitar.
10. The Launch of Periscope: Why were we watching people’s fridges? Because live-streaming became a thing, and for a few months, we all thought watching a stranger walk their dog in real-time was the future of media.

The Full 2015 Miscellaneous Jokes Archive

11. Jurassic World: Why were the raptors so polite? Because Chris Pratt became the “Alpha” of a squad of dinosaurs, proving that nostalgia for the 90s is even bigger than a T-Rex.
12. The Launch of the “Laughing Crying” Emoji (Word of the Year): Why was a picture a word? Because Oxford Dictionaries realized that 😂 was the only way we knew how to express emotion in 2015.
13. The ” Hotline Bling” Video: Why was Drake dancing like that? Because he wanted to make sure he became a meme for the next five years, and his “dad dancing” in a turtleneck was the perfect bait.
14. The Launch of Discord: Why did the gamers leave Skype? Because a new app arrived that didn’t crash every five minutes and allowed us to organize our raids without sounding like we were in a wind tunnel.
15. Inside Out: Why was a 12-year-old’s brain so crowded? Because Pixar showed us that “Sadness” is just as important as “Joy,” and that we all have a Bing Bong shaped hole in our hearts.
16. The Launch of the “Caitlyn Jenner” Cover: Why was Vanity Fair so iconic? Because 2015 was a landmark year for the trans community, and “Call me Caitlyn” became one of the most talked-about moments of the decade.
17. The “What are those?!” Meme: Why were the shoes so offensive? Because one guy with a camera and a loud voice turned “judgmental footwear commentary” into a global catchphrase.
18. The Launch of the iPad Pro: Why was it so big? Because Apple decided that professionals needed a 12.9-inch screen and a $99 pencil that you had to charge by plugging it into the bottom of the tablet like a lollipop.
19. Hamilton on Broadway: Why were we rapping about the Treasury? Because Lin-Manuel Miranda turned a 700-page biography into the hottest ticket in history, proving that history is way cooler with a hip-hop beat.
20. The Launch of “Sway” (Microsoft): Why were we making “canvases”? Because Microsoft tried to reinvent the presentation, but we all just kept using PowerPoint because change is scary.
21. The “Why You Always Lyin’” Video: Why was he in the backyard? Because one man, a bathroom sink, and a classic R&B melody created the perfect response to every fake person on the internet.
22. The Martian: Why was he growing potatoes in space? Because Matt Damon proved that you can “science the s*** out of” any situation, as long as you have enough disco music and duct tape.
23. The Launch of “YouTube Gaming”: Why was it so red? Because Google wanted to fight Twitch, but realized that people who like watching games are very loyal to their purple chat rooms.
24. The “Deez Nuts” Political Candidate: Why was a 15-year-old in the polls? Because 2015 was the start of “chaos politics,” where a teenager from Iowa could get 9% of the vote just by having a funny name.
25. The Launch of the Tesla Model X: Why did the doors open like wings? Because Elon Musk wanted a car that could “dance” and look cool in a parking lot, even if the doors took 10 seconds to decide if they wanted to open.
26. The Revenant: Why was Leo fighting a bear? Because he really, really wanted that Oscar, and he was willing to sleep in a horse and eat raw bison liver to get it.
27. The Launch of “Giphy” Integration in Slack/FB: Why were we communicating in loops? Because 2015 was the year we stopped using words and started using five-second clips of The Office to describe our feelings.
28. The Peanuts Movie: Why was Charlie Brown in 3D? Because 2015 was the year of the “modern classic,” where we realized that some things (like a kid and his dog) are actually timeless.
29. The Launch of the “Surface Book”: Why did the screen come off? Because Microsoft built a laptop with a “muscle wire” hinge that made it look like a futuristic clipboard, and we were all impressed and confused at the same time.
30. The “Pizza Rat” Video: Why was he carrying a whole slice? Because a rat in the NYC subway became the spirit animal for everyone just trying to get through a Monday with their lunch intact.
31. The Launch of “HBO Now”: Why did we cut the cord? Because for the first time, you could get Game of Thrones without having to pay for 200 channels of home shopping and sports.
32. Straight Outta Compton: Why was everyone “Straight Outta” somewhere? Because the N.W.A. biopic launched a meme generator that allowed everyone on the internet to claim they were from their own suburban neighborhood.
33. The Launch of “Google Photos”: Why was it searching for “dog”? Because Google gave us unlimited storage and an AI that could recognize our pets, finally solving the problem of having 10,000 unsorted photos.
34. The “Dabbing” Trend: Why were we sneezing into our elbows? Because Cam Newton and every teenager in America decided that this was the only way to celebrate anything in 2015.
35. The Launch of the “Force Touch” Trackpad: Why didn’t it click? Because Apple replaced the physical button with a “taptic” vibration, tricking our brains into thinking we clicked something that never moved.
36. New Year’s Eve 2015: Why were we so ready for 2016? Because we had seen Pluto, we had seen the Force awaken, and we were pretty sure that 2016 was going to be a “normal” and “quiet” year. (Narrator: Oh boy, were they wrong.)